Parents often know when something feels different about their child, even if they cannot yet name what it is. A delay in speech, difficulty joining play, sensory needs, social challenges, or a child who seems far ahead in one area but struggling in another can leave families wondering whether they are overreacting or missing something important.
In this episode of Stress-Free IEP, Frances Shefter speaks with Shabnum Bi, founder of Early Nurture Preschool in Birmingham, England, about early identification, special educational needs, and how families are supported in the United Kingdom compared with the United States. The conversation highlights a theme that matters deeply for parents everywhere: children should not have to fail before adults step in.
Early Support Should Not Depend on a Label
One of the strongest ideas from the conversation is that support can begin before a child has a formal diagnosis.
Shabnum explains that in her preschool, she often uses the term “additional need” rather than immediately labeling a child with a disability. This matters because many parents are understandably nervous about labels, especially when their child is very young.
A child may have a communication delay, social delay, sensory need, physical development concern, or several areas of need at once. Some needs may be temporary. Others may later become part of a long-term special educational need.
But either way, the child still needs support.
That idea connects closely with what Frances sees in the United States. A child does not always need a medical diagnosis before the school system can evaluate educational needs. A school psychologist may identify characteristics of autism, ADHD, or another disability category, and that can be enough to begin the educational support process.
The takeaway for parents is simple: do not wait for the perfect label before asking questions. If something is affecting your child’s learning, communication, behavior, participation, or development, it is worth documenting and raising with the right professionals.
The Hardest Conversations Often Come First
Early identification is not just a paperwork process. It is emotional.
Shabnum describes how difficult it can be to speak with parents about developmental concerns. Some parents are not ready to hear that their child may need extra support. Others compare siblings or twins and hope that one child will simply catch up. These reactions are human and understandable.
That is why trust matters.
Rather than overwhelming families all at once, Shabnum’s approach is gradual. She may begin with observations, then recommend a development check, then review progress over a period of weeks. If the child is still not making progress, she may suggest hearing checks, speech and language support, or additional referrals.
This slower, relationship-based process can help parents feel less judged and more supported. It gives families time to understand what professionals are seeing and why support may be needed.
Parents Can Feel Overwhelmed by Too Much Information at Once
Frances points out that in the United States, evaluations can sometimes feel like a flood of information. A parent may ask for an assessment, and then suddenly they are hearing about percentages, delays, atypical development, eligibility, services, and recommendations all in one meeting.
Even for Frances, who has a background in special education, her own child’s evaluation experience felt overwhelming.
That is an important reminder for schools and providers: information may be accurate, but it still has to be digestible.
Parents need clear explanations. They need time to process. They need professionals who can say what the concern is, what it means educationally, and what the next step should be.
Child Find Means Schools Have a Responsibility
Frances also explains a key point for U.S. families: schools have a duty to identify children who may have disabilities. This is often called “Child Find.”
In practice, though, parents may still feel lost. Schools cannot knock on every door and identify every child from birth. Parents may notice something different but not know where to go. If they do not have a pediatrician, friend, family member, or provider who understands the system, they may not realize help is available.
That is where delays happen.
A parent may wait because they think their child is “just young.” A school may say the child shows signs of a disability but does not meet the threshold for services. A family may be told the concern is medical, not educational.
These are the moments when parents need to know they can ask questions, request evaluations, and push for written explanations.
Early Intervention Can Change the Path
One of Shabnum’s strongest messages is that if a need is not identified early, it may become greater as the child gets older.
That does not mean every delay becomes a lifelong disability. It means early support gives a child a better chance to build communication, social, physical, emotional, and learning skills before gaps widen.
Early intervention may include:
- Speech and language support
- Hearing checks
- Developmental observations
- Visual routines
- Smaller group support
- More intensive adult interaction
- Sensory activities
- Social communication practice
- Differentiated learning activities
- Referrals to specialists when needed
For young children, these supports can make daily life more manageable. They can also create a paper trail showing what has been tried, what helped, and what concerns remain.
That documentation can matter later if a child needs an IEP, an IFSP, a 504 Plan, or another formal support plan.
Inclusion Must Still Be Individualized
Frances and Shabnum also discuss inclusion. Both the U.S. and U.K. systems value children being educated with their peers whenever appropriate. In the United States, this is often discussed through the idea of the least restrictive environment.
But inclusion does not mean placing every child in the same setting with the same supports.
Some children can make progress in general education with accommodations. Some need pull-out services for speech, occupational therapy, reading, or math. Some need a specialized classroom for part of the day. Others may need a more intensive setting.
The key question should always be: what does this child need in order to make meaningful progress?
Frances explains that least restrictive does not always mean most appropriate for every child. Schools must look at whether the child is benefiting, what supports are needed, and whether the placement is actually working.
Social Skills Are Educational, Too
A major shift in special education is the understanding that social challenges can affect learning.
Frances explains that years ago, social issues were often treated as home issues rather than school issues. Today, schools are increasingly recognizing that social communication, peer relationships, emotional regulation, and sensory needs can directly impact a child’s education.
This matters especially for autistic students and students with ADHD.
A child may be academically capable but still struggle with transitions, group work, friendships, sensory overload, or classroom expectations. Those struggles can affect access to learning. They can also affect behavior, confidence, attendance, and emotional well-being.
Parents should not dismiss social concerns just because grades are fine. If social or emotional challenges are interfering with school, they may belong in the IEP or 504 conversation.
The Education System Has Not Kept Up With Children’s Needs
Frances raises a larger concern: the education system has not changed enough to match how children learn today.
Many classrooms still rely on rigid curriculum pacing, scripted instruction, and one-size-fits-all expectations. But children do not all come to school with the same background, development, language, sensory profile, or learning needs.
Shabnum echoes this from the early years perspective. She explains that planning should not just be about writing impressive lesson plans. It should be about whether the activity can actually be delivered, whether children can access it, and whether it has an impact.
Her guiding questions are practical:
- What is the intention of the activity?
- How will it be implemented?
- What impact will it have on the child?
That is a useful framework for parents, too. In an IEP or school meeting, parents can ask similar questions: What is the goal? How will this support be delivered? How will we know if it is working?
Parents Do Not Have to Navigate This Alone
The episode closes with an important reminder: families need a village.
Whether a child is in the United States, England, or anywhere else, parents should not be left alone to figure out developmental concerns, school systems, evaluations, services, and legal rights.
Early support works best when parents and professionals share information, build trust, and act before the child is in crisis.
For parents, the message is not to panic. It is to pay attention. Document concerns. Ask for help. Request evaluations when needed. And remember that support does not have to wait for a perfect diagnosis.
A child’s needs are enough reason to start the conversation.
Get in touch with Shabnum here: https://www.earlynurturepreschool.co.uk/
He can help you navigate IEP problems here!
