By: Frances Shefter, Esq.
There are few phrases that frustrate parents more than this one: “Let’s wait and see.” As both a special education attorney and a parent of two children with IEPs, I’ve heard it more times than I can count. It’s often said in a calm, reassuring tone, as if it’s the reasonable thing to do. But for parents who are watching their child struggle, it doesn’t feel reasonable. It feels like delay. It feels like dismissal. And very often, it is.
Schools will frequently refuse to evaluate a child because they are “on grade level” or “getting good grades.” On paper, everything looks fine. But as parents, we know that grades don’t always tell the full story. A child can be working twice as hard, masking their challenges, or falling apart at home just to keep up at school. Just because a child is performing academically does not mean they are not struggling in ways that require support.
I experienced this firsthand with my own daughter. She already had an IEP under the category of Speech and Language Impaired, but I began noticing something that didn’t sit right with me. She was having difficulty recalling simple words—words I knew she knew. One moment in particular stuck with me: she couldn’t come up with the word “soup.” It wasn’t just a one-time thing; it was a pattern that I could not ignore.
So I did what any parent would do. I brought my concerns to the school team and requested further evaluation. I walked into that meeting prepared to explain what I was seeing and why it mattered. But I will never forget their response. The team looked at me and said, “Oh, she’s fine. Let’s wait and see.”
In that moment, I knew that was not an acceptable answer. I wasn’t guessing or overreacting—I was observing something real, and I knew it deserved attention. I started explaining the situation in more detail. I talked about the research-based interventions her preschool teachers were already using and why those interventions indicated a need for further evaluation. I laid everything out clearly, expecting that the information would lead to a meaningful discussion.
Instead, I was met with blank stares, as if to say, “And?”
That’s when I did something I should not have had to do. I ran down my credentials. I explained that I was a special education attorney, with a master’s degree in special education, that I understood the law, and signs of a child struggling, and that I knew what I was asking for was appropriate. The shift in the room was immediate. Their expressions changed, and suddenly the resistance disappeared. They agreed to move forward with what I had requested.
That moment has stayed with me, not because of the outcome, but because of what it took to get there. I should not have had to rely on my professional credentials to be taken seriously as a parent. And most parents do not have that option. They walk into meetings with valid concerns, important observations, and a deep understanding of their child—but without the education and legal background that seems to command attention.
That is why it is so important to understand what you can do when a school refuses to evaluate your child. One of the most effective steps you can take is to ask for Prior Written Notice. Specifically, ask the school to put in writing:
- Why they are refusing to evaluate
- What data they are relying on to make that decision
This is not just a formality. It is a legal requirement.
When schools are asked to document their reasoning in writing, the dynamic often shifts. It is much easier to say “no” in a meeting than it is to justify that decision on paper with specific data. In many cases, asking for Prior Written Notice prompts a more thoughtful review of the situation, and sometimes even a change in position. I have seen this approach work across many different scenarios, not just evaluation requests.
At its core, this is about making sure your child is fully understood. If something does not feel right, you do not have to wait for things to get worse before asking for help. You do not have to accept “let’s wait and see” as the final answer. You are entitled to ask questions, to request data, and to advocate for a deeper look at your child’s needs.
At Shefter Law, this is the perspective we bring to every case. I personally train our team not only in the legal framework of special education, but in understanding what parents are experiencing in these moments. Our attorneys provide the legal advice and strategy needed to navigate the system effectively. At the same time, every member of our team is trained to recognize when something isn’t right and to truly understand what families are going through in real time. We know how to push when necessary and how to use the law strategically, but we also understand what it feels like to sit in that meeting, to be dismissed, and to know your child needs more. That combination of legal expertise and real parent perspective allows us to advocate in a way that is both effective and deeply aligned with the families we serve.