Stress-Free IEP Podcast with Frances Shefter & Guest Leila Farshchian, M.A., BCBA
The Evolution of ABA Therapy
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) has long been one of the most widely discussed—and sometimes debated—interventions for children with autism and other developmental differences. As Frances opened the conversation, she noted the two very different schools of thought parents often hear: some insist ABA is still an excellent therapy, while others caution against it.
Guest expert Leila Farshchian, who has over 25 years of experience in autism education and is a board-certified behavior analyst, acknowledged the controversy but also emphasized how much the field has changed.
“ABA today is not the same as ABA 30 years ago,” she explained. “We’ve moved from strict, drill-based approaches to more compassionate, value-based care that is individualized for each learner.”
Leila highlighted that when ABA is done correctly—with compassion, flexibility, and science behind it—it can lead to powerful outcomes. The key is finding the right providers who understand the child, not just the textbook.
Individualization Is the Heart of Progress
Frances pointed out the truth parents know well: when you’ve met one autistic child, you’ve met one autistic child. Every child’s needs are unique.
Leila described how effective ABA breaks down skills into digestible steps, but the size of those steps depends on the learner. Some children thrive with small, structured trials; others need broader, more natural learning opportunities. “It’s a sophisticated science,” she said, “but unfortunately it often falls into unsophisticated hands.”
For parents, that means not dismissing ABA entirely if they’ve had a negative experience—rather, it’s about finding the right fit.
Collaboration Makes the Difference
One of the biggest challenges families face is fragmented care. Speech therapists, occupational therapists, BCBAs, teachers, and physicians may all work with a child, but too often the burden of coordination falls squarely on the parents.
Leila shared her vision through her company, ABA Toolbox, a platform designed to connect providers and families in real time. Instead of waiting for once-a-year IEP meetings, ABA Toolbox allows professionals to share goals, data, and progress session by session.
“When we work in silos, kids are pulled in five different directions and become frustrated,” Leila explained. “But when we collaborate with intentionality, holding hands as a team, the learner is truly at the center.”
Trusting Your Intuition as a Parent
Parents often wonder how to know if ABA—or any therapy—is right for their child. Leila’s advice was simple yet powerful: ask questions, and trust your gut.
She told the story of a piano teacher she once asked to leave mid-lesson because her daughter looked scared and defeated. That moment reinforced how important it is for parents to listen to their instincts.
The same is true in ABA. Ask providers about their training and experience. Inquire about their philosophy—do they practice compassionate, value-based care? Make sure they see your child as more than a diagnosis. And if something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to walk away and find a better fit.
Supporting the Whole Family
ABA isn’t just about teaching eye contact or classroom behavior. The best programs, Leila emphasized, support family life as a whole: going to the grocery store without meltdowns, getting through bedtime routines, helping siblings interact, even taking family vacations.
That’s why her intake process includes a detailed questionnaire about day-to-day life. “Families sometimes don’t even realize how many limitations they’ve accepted as normal until someone asks,” she said. From there, goals can be built around making family life healthier and more enjoyable.
A Call for Schools to Collaborate Early
As the school year begins, Frances asked what parents can do to set their children up for success. Leila’s advice: don’t wait until the annual IEP meeting. Reach out now to the special education director or case manager and ask what collaboration will look like throughout the year.
Even monthly or bi-weekly check-ins between providers can dramatically reduce parent stress, improve communication, and most importantly, help children make faster progress. “When parents have regular updates,” Leila explained, “there’s less anxiety and more proactive action.”
Final Thoughts
ABA, like any tool, depends on how it is used. The message from this episode is clear: ABA done with compassion, data, and collaboration can be life-changing. Families don’t need to accept silos, confusion, or outdated approaches. Instead, they can ask questions, seek out strong providers, and insist on teamwork that keeps their child—and family—at the center.
As Frances reminded listeners, “You don’t have to do it all alone.” With the right people and the right plan, support is possible.
Visit Lelila’s website here: https://www.abatoolbox.com/
