When people hear the term ”ADHD,” they think of a young boy who can’t sit still, blurting out answers in class, and getting in trouble. But what if I told you that, in a lot of girls, ADHD appears entirely different and therefore easily gets missed.
If you’re the parent of a daughter who seems smart but distracted, or who works hard but still struggles in school, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about what’s really going on and why it’s so important to pay attention.
Here’s the twist:
1.They Fly Under the Radar Most girls with ADHD are not loud or disruptive. Instead, they may be daydreamers, the quiet ones who tend to zone out or appear unfocused. Teachers may think they’re not trying hard enough or they’re shy, when, in reality, their minds are racing just to keep up.
2. School Can Be a Balancing Act Let’s be realistic—school can be a lot. Between keeping up on homework, remembering to bring assignments and supplies to school, switching classes, and trying to stay mentally engaged, it can be as stressful as a fulltime job. Many girls with ADHD tend to struggle with executive function, such as organization, focus, and follow-through. They’ll leave their assignments half done, forget what they were just doing the minute before, or get overwhelmed with trying to switch between so many tasks.
And here’s what people normally do not see—they’re usually trying really hard. But no matter how hard they try, it often doesn’t seem to work out—at least not to the extent expected based on the innate intelligence of the child. This can be frustrating and heartbreaking for both the student and her family.
3. They Try to Mask It Many girls are people-pleasers. Having ADHD increases this tendency exponentially. Since these girls don’t want to get in trouble, they try extra hard to appear to be “normal.” They may sit quietly and smile, even if they have no idea what’s going on—or they may stare aimlessly out the window—but, since they’re not causing trouble, the teacher doesn’t notice that they need assistance. Masking like this can lead to exhaustion, a missed diagnosis, or emotional distress. Due to the societal expectations placed on girls and women, a girl with ADHD may not even realize she’s masking, as the tasks that she’s performing have always been hard for her, yet society expects her to do them with ease.
4. Friendships Can Be Difficult ADHD not only affects schoolwork, but it also affects how girls interact socially. Maybe your daughter talks a mile a minute, jumps from topic to topic, inadvertently interrupts people, or misses social cues. This can make friendships harder to achieve or sustain because it not only adds to their sense of feeling ”different,” but it causes others to reject them for not following social conventions.
5. Big Emotions, Small Triggers Girls with ADHD are more likely to develop anxiety or depression. It’s tiring and wears them down when school is a battle every day and making friends takes so much effort. You might see your daughter start becoming more sensitive, moody, or withdrawn. These are signs that she needs help—not just academically but emotionally, also.
What Can Parents Do? Parents can start with listening and observing. If you sense that something’s “off” with your daughter, talk to her teachers or her doctor. ADHD in girls is often overlooked or missed because it doesn’t manifest itself with girls the same way that it typically does with boys. But once you know what you’re dealing with, you can build a team to assist her— at home, in school, and with her personal relationships.
Whether it’s getting extra time on tests as an accommodation for ruminating thoughts and losing focus, help navigating misunderstandings which can impact friendships and personal relationships, or simply being there to support her and provide a safe space to express her frustrations, the right type of parental guidance can be the difference between your daughter struggling or thriving in school and beyond.
If your daughter is having a difficult time in school due to ADHD or suspected undiagnosed ADHD, you can contact Shefter Law, P.A. to book a free consultation at 301-805-7303 or ShefterLaw.com.
She’s Not “Just Distracted:” The Hidden School Struggles of Girls with ADHD
By Lateefah S. Williams, Esq.
When people hear the term ”ADHD,” they think of a young boy who can’t sit still, blurting out answers in class, and getting in trouble. But what if I told you that, in a lot of girls, ADHD appears entirely different and therefore easily gets missed.
If you’re the parent of a daughter who seems smart but distracted, or who works hard but still struggles in school, you’re not alone. Let’s talk about what’s really going on and why it’s so important to pay attention.
Here’s the twist:
1. They Fly Under the Radar
Most girls with ADHD are not loud or disruptive. Instead, they may be daydreamers, the quiet ones who tend to zone out or appear unfocused. Teachers may think they’re not trying hard enough or they’re shy, when, in reality, their minds are racing just to keep up.
2. School Can Be a Balancing Act
Let’s be realistic—school can be a lot. Between keeping up on homework, remembering to bring assignments and supplies to school, switching classes, and trying to stay mentally engaged, it can be as stressful as a fulltime job. Many girls with ADHD tend to struggle with executive function, such as organization, focus, and follow-through. They’ll leave their assignments half done, forget what they were just doing the minute before, or get overwhelmed with trying to switch between so many tasks.
And here’s what people normally do not see—they’re usually trying really hard. But no matter how hard they try, it often doesn’t seem to work out—at least not to the extent expected based on the innate intelligence of the child. This can be frustrating and heartbreaking for both the student and her family.
3. They Try to Mask It
Many girls are people-pleasers. Having ADHD increases this tendency exponentially. Since these girls don’t want to get in trouble, they try extra hard to appear to be “normal.” They may sit quietly and smile, even if they have no idea what’s going on—or they may stare aimlessly out the window—but, since they’re not causing trouble, the teacher doesn’t notice that they need assistance. Masking like this can lead to exhaustion, a missed diagnosis, or emotional distress. Due to the societal expectations placed on girls and women, a girl with ADHD may not even realize she’s masking, as the tasks that she’s performing have always been hard for her, yet society expects her to do them with ease.
4. Friendships Can Be Difficult
ADHD not only affects schoolwork, but it also affects how girls interact socially. Maybe your daughter talks a mile a minute, jumps from topic to topic, inadvertently interrupts people, or misses social cues. This can make friendships harder to achieve or sustain because it not only adds to their sense of feeling ”different,” but it causes others to reject them for not following social conventions.
5. Big Emotions, Small Triggers
Girls with ADHD are more likely to develop anxiety or depression. It’s tiring and wears them down when school is a battle every day and making friends takes so much effort. You might see your daughter start becoming more sensitive, moody, or withdrawn. These are signs that she needs help—not just academically but emotionally, also.
What Can Parents Do?
Parents can start with listening and observing. If you sense that something’s “off” with your daughter, talk to her teachers or her doctor. ADHD in girls is often overlooked or missed because it doesn’t manifest itself with girls the same way that it typically does with boys. But once you know what you’re dealing with, you can build a team to assist her— at home, in school, and with her personal relationships.
Whether it’s getting extra time on tests as an accommodation for ruminating thoughts and losing focus, help navigating misunderstandings which can impact friendships and personal relationships, or simply being there to support her and provide a safe space to express her frustrations, the right type of parental guidance can be the difference between your daughter struggling or thriving in school and beyond.
If your daughter is having a difficult time in school due to ADHD or suspected undiagnosed ADHD, you can contact Shefter Law, P.A. to book a free consultation at 301-805-7303 or ShefterLaw.com.
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