In this episode of Stress-Free IEP® Frances Shefter speaks with Kitchie McBride, MHA, a health insurance broker and social security analyst. Kitchie delves into her personal journey of homeschooling her son, who has special needs, and shares insights into the challenges and decisions that led her to adopt homeschooling during his high school years. Her background as a non-practicing physician and her experiences in healthcare finance further enrich the discussion.
Tune in to the episode to hear about:
* The transition to homeschooling in high school and its impact on Kitchie’s son’s education and self-esteem.
The challenges of balancing work and homeschooling, and the decision to become self-employed to better manage these responsibilities
Insights into Kitchie’s approach to homeschooling, emphasizing self-directed learning and the Montessori model
The socialization strategies Kitchie employed to ensure her son remained engaged and connected with peers
The broader implications of homeschooling on personal development and family dynamics
Frances Shefter is an Education Attorney and Advocate who is committed to helping her clients have a Stress-Free IEP® experience. In each podcast, Frances interviews inspiring people to share information, educate you, empower you and help you get the knowledge you need.
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Voice-Over: Welcome to Stress-Free IEP®. You do not need to do it all alone. With your host, Frances Shefter, Principal of Shefter Law. You can get more details and catch prior episodes at www. Shefterlaw.com. The Stress-Free IEP® video podcast is also posted on YouTube and LinkedIn, and you can listen to episodes through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and more. Now, here’s the host of Stress-Free IEP®, Frances Shefter.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Hello everyone and welcome to the show Today’s guest Kitchie McBride is a very special guest and I know I say that often but here’s the reason So kitschy is a health insurance broker and a social security analyst But the reason she became that is because of her special needs child and the help that That she [00:01:00] realized other parents will need.
But even more importantly, she chose to homeschool her child, which I know a lot of my watchers and listeners are in that. Should I homeschool? Should I not homeschool? Is it the right decision? Is it? The wrong decision. And that’s why inviting Kitschie on, I thought was so important because she has so much information and from the point of view of us as a parent, like what that looks like. So Kitschie, please say hello. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Hello, everyone. It’s so nice to be here. Thank you, Frances, for inviting me. I actually, what I do right now, I’m a health insurance broker. I only focus on health and I’m also a social security analyst. Uh, it’s a registered social security analyst where I help people understand their benefits and that includes disability benefits.
Now, um, I am here today to talk about my experiences, um, as, [00:02:00] um, homeschool mom. But I just wanted to clarify that I homeschool around. high school. So basically my child attended preschool. It’s a Montessori based preschool and then he went to a private school. And, um, we also have to deal with the public school because of the IEP.
And I want to share all about that.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Thank you. Yeah, that is wonderful. Cause I mean, that’s it as a parent of a child with special needs, you know, um, different abilities, all the PC terms that we all use. Um, It’s, it’s a challenging and school is such a big part.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: And so what, so I know, and interestingly that you said high school, cause a lot of, a lot of times we can get the kids through elementary school, right?
And then that’s when things start happen. So what made you move from private to, um, to homeschooling?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. I, well, first of all, when he was younger and we, when we found [00:03:00] out because my son has, um, autism, uh, he’s in the autism spectrum, he has ADHD and he has, um, uh, Mixed Expressive and Receptive Language Disorder.
Now, when he was so young, I thought, am I supposed to homeschool him, and I wasn’t prepared for it. First of all, I don’t know what to do if I will homeschool him. But at the same time, at that age, there’s a lot of preschools, and the elementary schools, or the grade schoolers, They don’t really require too much from them, or maybe especially from the state where we come from, you came from Hawaii, you’re more about playing and all that.
So it was still okay. And I’m still deciding, am I going to homeschool you or not? But I really don’t know what to do. And at that time, so my son is now 20 years old, but during that time, there are no Facebook groups that you could ask a lot of parents, it’s not easy. And I was also working. And so, um, [00:04:00] it was.
a little bit, you know, I, I have to first observe my son, how he is with other kids in school. And I’m trying to know him. And like I mentioned to you before, it’s very important to know my child for, for my perspective, I need to know what his strengths are, what are his weaknesses. And then after that, I can understand what is he going to be dealing with?
Like, what are the threats? What are the opportunities out there? And so, um, When he’s younger, it’s okay. He comes back home and he will have a problem with school, but he can get the help. He get, we get tutors for him and everything. But then when he was in middle school, this is when all comes out. And I was told about that by, by the teachers.
When he goes into middle school and he moves into high school, you will see all of these issues because, you know, the topics becomes more complicated, the [00:05:00] subjects. And so the, Just more than one teacher who told me if I have to insert them into a ranking, I don’t know where to put him because a lot of kids with special needs, their development is asynchronous.
They could be high up in one skill and they can be low in one skill. And now, now you’re gonna put them in a classroom and try to see where they fit. Then they don’t fit. That’s why, um, they’re unique. And so what are we going to do with high school?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Because When we had one of the evaluations during that time, um, the self esteem is at risk and that will, I know that that will worsen by the time that he gets into high school because the more he can see how different he is.
So it’s not, it’s going to be a problem. And so I have to [00:06:00] convince my husband because another issue are the parents. One parent will not agree with it, because they haven’t heard of it. And especially, it’s a different model. I said, I’m going to do a self directed learning model. It’s based on the Montessori, because that’s what he had in preschool.
And I thought, I really like that model. And so I want to implement that, do it in a high school, and, um, make it child led or student led. And so I have to convince him, uh, when I decided that was the main decision, because when they were moving into high school, I, I remember attending an interview with the principal of the school where he went.
It was a school for, uh, the gifted with, with dyslexia or language based disorder. And, um, The principal said something like, they need, it will become different. They’re preparing us. It will become different from the middle school because they have to meet deadlines. And [00:07:00] you know, with a child with an ADHD, he’s actually basically, We’re talking about a kid who’s time blind.
Deadline is a problem. And so, uh, I, I knew that if he goes into high school with a regular school, um, it’s, it may not help him. But what I really wanted to happen is that, you know, how, how, when you go to school, you spend six to eight hours a day in school, people told you exactly what you’re going to do.
And then you come home and how, and how
Frances Shefter, Esq.: you have to do it. Yes.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: How you do it. And then you come home. You only have this little tiny time to do what you like. So what you’re passionate about and how you going to hone your gifts. So I decided, I said, you know what, we reverse it. You go to school. I mean, you go home school and then whatever you learn, what you want to learn and what you need to learn, they will be those two hours a day.
Okay. if you want to at that time, [00:08:00] but you’re not getting no pressure. So that’s how I ended up, you know, saying you’re going to go homeschool. And he was thankful down the road.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. And you were both you and your husband were both working full time when you did this, correct?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. The only difference is my husband.
He works full time. He works for the government federal because he’s a retired air force. And I, um, I, I, I switch. Actually, I was Growing up, my son, I was working in the healthcare system. Um, I was in healthcare finance. My, my background is I was, I’m a non practicing physician. So I came from the Philippines where I earned my medical doctorate degree, moved to the United States, and my first encounter was, um, how different it is when my child is younger.
Why am I going to the Department of Health? Because my son couldn’t speak and then to the school, so I was trying to understand that and that’s how it got me there. So I was working full time [00:09:00] and it was, it was really difficult to the point that I, when I left. So as I went back to school in the US, I took my master’s in health administration, went into working for the hospital systems.
And I can’t do it because you have to work, you have to be in the office and then you have a child and I worry about school and what’s going to happen to him and all that. So eventually, when I fully paid my loan in student loan, I said, I’m going to just. be self employed, work for myself, and that’s how I decided if that’s included in the plan.
If I homeschool him, I should be self employed. So I control my time.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: So you felt you found a way to make it happen because yes, but
Kitchie McBride, MHA: yes, but none in, in my, you know, way, way back, I have no idea that this is where I will be one day. And it’s because of my son, and it’s [00:10:00] not like it’s my choice, but it’s just, well, I have to do it because we’re moms, we’re parents, we do what we have to do for our kids, right?
Yes. So, so, you know, you have plans, but then, you know, it’s not going to happen. Yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Right. Exactly. And, um, somebody once told me, a rabbi’s wife once told me that, uh, we make plans and God laughs. You know, so we can make all the plans we want, but like, I’m, you know, whether you believe in God or not, whatever universe, I’m a such a strong believer of once you figure out, you make your determination of where, what you want to do and how, the how will come, right?
So like, that’s what happened. We’re able to self employ. You were able to get into something that is related to children with disabilities and you found a way to succeed.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Teacher’s son and he’s graduated now, right? He is,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: but like I realized, you know, um, you can’t just really say that’s not for me. I’m not going to do that. Right. You know, like I, I thought [00:11:00] before what, you know, I, well, I went to school. I became a medical doctor. I even took my master’s degree. I have all these things, you know, now I have to sit down and think. look back and assess, yeah, I did all that, but it’s, I have to use it not in the way that I envisioned it.
I have to use them, you know, I have to use them so that, um, uh, uh, They don’t go into ways, but at the same time it has to integrate with what I’m going to do for my son. So that includes now helping people because what we’ve learned before is it’s difficult to find financial assistance. It’s difficult to find resources.
It’s difficult to find, um, who’s going to cover for something that he needs. And so right now, That’s actually what I do. I, I do have a business of insurance, but it’s really all about, um, a, a big portion of my business is [00:12:00] charity. ’cause even if it’s Medicaid, I’ll help you because I know how that works.
So, yes. Mm-Hmm. .
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. Which is great. It’s just, you know, we say it, we do what we have to do for our kids, you know? And, um, I know like, it’s, it’s a hard place. It’s, it’s what? The schools do the best they can, as we know, but for our neurodiverse kids that don’t fit in the circle or the square or the triangle that they have, they’re kind of lost.
And like, how do we program for them? Um, and I know, like, I sit in IEP meetings and I talk to potential clients about, you know, what is the best situation? And I always start with, what is your vision? Like, right now, what is the best case scenario? Do you want them? With all special ed kids. Do you want them in a private school?
Do you want them in a non public, you know, like let’s start there and then we can reverse engineer it and go back and figure out the steps we need to take. And sometimes there’s a pivot in there because you change your mind. Like, well, you know [00:13:00] what, this might work, which is what sounds like you, like you did private school and that was working for a while until it wasn’t.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Right. Yes, because I was, we were thinking before he needs that social socialization, the interaction that is the most important. And there’s one thing that I will never forget. It was the, it was the principal of the Montessori preschool. And she told me whatever happens, the most, uh, the thing that you will prioritize is the, emotional and social.
Without that, the learning will not even happen. Because she told me, don’t worry about if they can read or not read or anything, but as long as he’s emotionally stable, that’s your focus because that’s actually where the problem is with, um, with, uh, kids like my son. And so, um, I keep on thinking about that.
So even if, for example, he’s [00:14:00] struggling with school, sometimes I just have to hold him for the rest of the day. That’s what I love about homeschool. So, uh, no teacher will be mad that, you know, he didn’t go to school or he was late. Um, uh, I gave him that because sometimes we hurry kids to grow, but in reality, up to 21 or 18 years, that’s really short when especially people have a long time to live right now.
So even right now at 20, um, I allow him to sleep, just sleep.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: If you want to catch up, uh, just to sleep if you want, and then, um, do what you like. And, um, we’ll work on it. One day you will be able to, uh, to be on your own or you will, you should know where to go and find out the help that you will need.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: That’s so great. And so what did you do for the socialization in high school? Like, so he was homeschooled for several years. What did, like, how did he get that interaction?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yeah. So, um, the other reason why I was [00:15:00] comfortable or more confident to put him into homeschool during high school is because during middle school, um, I told him, um, you know, there’s this, because, okay, think about this.
I’ve already assessed my son’s, uh, strengths and weaknesses. And one of them, um, of course, The weakness is language. He had a hard time speaking, communicating with people. However, when you look at his, um, evaluations or, um, testings, you know, he is scoring very high with nonverbal communications. But in terms of speaking, there, there’s really a huge delay.
So what can he do if he is not good in speaking? So it’s anything visual. So I said, um, um, first I said, you know, what if you learned modeling? You’re not going to speak. So, um, [00:16:00] that was easy for him. So he met kids in modeling schools. That’s where he gets his socialization. And then he enjoyed it. I like this one.
I want to do this. And then he even learned voice acting because in voice acting, yes, he, he, he reads it and he memorizes it and then he speaks it and you know, the tone and everything he learned that. And then, uh, we found another, uh, modeling school, uh, in New York and he joined that too. So the rest of this, uh, high school, um, I believe the pandemic was around that time, so they converted everything into, uh, the Zoom meetings, and that’s how he attended the classes.
That’s how he got his socializations, aside from the friends that he met when he was younger. He’s still friends with them, so they go out, you know, it’s a small circle. So that’s where mostly socialization is. And eventually when he got older, he starts to, uh, attend the New [00:17:00] York fashion week, New Jersey fashion week, and his friends all over, uh, the nation.
So I thought it was good enough. Yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: And that is so wonderful. Cause that’s one of the biggest fears I know. I mean, it’s in, in the, the mom groups, we are all talking about like, what are we going to do? Like, where’s our child? What’s going on? Um, school refusal. They’re not quite making it in gen ed. Are they gonna, you know, but full special ed’s not right.
And, but what are we going to do about the socialization? Like how, but like you said, you find classes of their interest. So, you know, right. Like if you have a child that’s really into gymnastics, that you go do gymnastics, right. Or whatever sports. They’re into, there’s always something you can get your children involved in for that socialization.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. Um, but just to let you know, one of the things that I noticed when he did, uh, the, the, the New York Fashion Week, uh, last time, uh, so I observed him, can he do this without [00:18:00] support? So there was a portion wherein they’re going to come out and they have to hold a, it’s, it’s a soda. Um, can, that they’re supposed to promote, you know, he didn’t come out.
So after that, he came out with the rest when they’re, when they all, um, uh, took the walk. And then after the show, I asked him, how come you weren’t out there when they’re showing the soda? He said, mom, I didn’t understand the instructions. Cause you remember. Right. So usually when, with his disability, um, when a concept is brand new, it’s a little bit slow to process it.
So it needs a lot of repetitions, right? Now, none in the practice ever that made them say they’re going to hold something when they walk, you know, and, um, He never heard that. And so now he was being given, uh, verbal instructions. And, but to be honest, [00:19:00] Right. And the others got confused. Some other kids even came out, you know, because they’re, they’re up to like early twenties and thirties or something.
And there’s little kids, they come out and the soda was like upside down, they’re showing it, but they don’t really understand what they’re going to do. But my son really just don’t understand anything that he didn’t even come out at all. So that’s one thing that I have to take note that at this age, um, okay.
Someone must understand and explain this. So, so I, I still take observations of what he can and cannot do. Yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah, no, that’s great. Cause cause they’re going to need support. And like today, from what I understand, the workforce is being more understanding and more accepting and making accommodations and looking for the strengths, because, you know, I say it all the time that our kids.
I hate special needs. I don’t like that term. I don’t like different. I don’t like any of that. Like this is the way their brain works. [00:20:00] This is what society says is normal. And then this is what the way your brain works, but we need brains that work differently, because if not, how boring would we be, right?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes, and you know, I’m just worried. So that’s why I want to emphasize, it’s about, as a parent, to me, um, All I learned here is that every single person is unique, but if you try to fit them in what the, in what our society said is the standard, you will really miss your kids, your son’s gift or your family’s gift.
child’s gifts. And I really don’t want parents to miss that because before, think about it, think about me. I went to school. Well, all the way to doctorate and I love school. I even went back. And until now I continue to study to school, school, school. And then I have a son who has a problem in school. And if I [00:21:00] put the same expectation to him that you’re going to go to school, you’re also going to get this degrees and all that, you know, I will miss a whole lot because, um, when, when, Aside from being a fashion model, my, my son is also a very, uh, good photographer.
He is a fine art photographer. And I learned that because I was just, I have my own camera and he was in middle school and he borrowed it. And I, I was, I was shocked because I didn’t think my camera can do what he did. So it turned out that he had the gift for that. He’s, he’s a visual artist. So, um, I’m, I’m not going to know that if I only focus on what he cannot, cannot do.
So for me, it’s like, okay, what is it that you can do? Let’s focus on that first. And then let’s focus on the others.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Right. And give them that chance. And I love that you say it, the social and emotional, because I say that also social and emotional health is, [00:22:00] it’s number one. Because, you know, and, and that’s the argument I make when people try to say that autism or ADHD, there’s no educational impact because the child’s getting straight A’s or, you know, is above grade level and everything.
And it’s like, but the, the educational impact is that they’re not available for learning. If you’re in your head, socially stressed out emotionally, um, Trying to keep yourself together, whatever it is, you are not learning the way you need to be learning, you know? And so like outside, you might be that, what was those people that are, that can read something once and memorize it and score the test or learn how to fake test or whatever it is, but that doesn’t mean you’re actually absorbing and learning in a safe, good environment, right?
Okay, you muted yourself. Okay, there you are. Um, you know, and so that’s so like focusing on our kids needs. And unfortunately, the school systems as good as it is in Maryland and Montgomery County, it still has a [00:23:00] long way to go. And other areas of the country are even worse. Um, but like, It’s just our kids.
Social and emotional are what matters most. And as parents or, you know, whether it’s adoptive parents, guardians, foster parents, whatever it is focusing on that social and emotional health health. Is where it is.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And you got to remember as a parent now before you can even support your kids emotional health, you have to take care of your own.
Now you have to be emotionally stable. So that’s what I learned here. Oh, you know, uh, now I have to, you have to deal. And usually when you are married, so we met people who got divorced along the way, right? So. So think about those and now how are you going to to deal with that and they also have problems at work.
So I go to work and it’s very difficult, especially [00:24:00] also, um, for me, in our experience, I found it difficult for my end because Um, for my husband, it’s easy for him to leave work and pick up my son. But for me, for some reason, I would hear something, I guess, because of the place where I was working, um, I would, I would miss a promotion because I wasn’t there.
I’m not reliable. I have to be out, you know, so these are the impact to the parents. And now, um, you want to give this parent support, but I think over time, what I noticed is that, um, the support that parents get, because, because right now we have a lot of information floating everywhere. Now, one of the issues would be down misinformation or disinformation or getting that information incorrectly.
I don’t know what to say with that. But the only thing I can say is that every information that I encounter, I will only use it depending on how I know my [00:25:00] child. So it’s really centered on the on the kid. But then again, you know, If you think of their emotional, you think about yours too. So it’s not, it’s not for the faint of heart.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s, I know like with my child and her, well, both my children and their different needs, like I’ve had to take the step back and look at my needs and who I am and my stuff. my expectations and my parenting styles and all that other stuff. Um, because guess what? It’s not working. It’s not, you know, like people say, what do you mean your kid doesn’t go to school?
Like you go to school, that’s what you’re supposed to do, but that’s not the way today’s world is. And it’s, you know, what’s more important, forcing my kid to go to school that they’re going to wind up having a bad day. Chances are I’m going to get called to pick them up or there’s going to be an incident that happens or whatever, or just let the kids stay home for the day.
And, you know, they need a brain break. We get them as [00:26:00] adults, right?
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Um, yeah. And that’s the other thing is they take care of ourselves because if our cup is empty, we have nothing to give left. And so that is true, take the me time and take, you know, coaching or whatever it may be like, take care of ourselves, but putting that focus, I can imagine how, how more relaxed.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: the family became once you took off that pressure of the school demands.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. It was really relaxed in, uh, during the homeschool, but now my problem was, was my husband, because he’s so concerned. He’s not doing anything. He’s used to like doing things and I’m like, leave him alone. He’s, he’s growing. And he was thinking that this might not be good for him, but eventually, um, uh, he agreed because you, you yourself will be the one.
Who would be having headaches if they’re being called to school because the problem [00:27:00] happens. Um, the problem shouldn’t be there. So think about it. If we put him into a high school and then he has to do all these other things and then he will have other experiences and now he’s stressed. So you actually put in there to get the stress.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: So, you know, so I might as well just keep him and then just attend his other modeling classes. He attends them once a week, um, meets with them, um, certain months and, you know, have a good time and, um, used all that time to hone whatever gift that he has. We’ve seen this, we’ve seen, um, celebrities like, uh, people in entertainment, you know, they do this, people who are in sports.
They focus more on sports. They focus more on, uh, whatever, um, talents that they have. We’ve seen them and they didn’t really do much in, in school. So it’s just a matter of leaving your kid. Now, if he ended up to be, uh, a math wizard and he wants to be a doctor and he’s really studying, studying, studying, I, I’m [00:28:00] all for that.
He can do that. But again, you, you want to look at the child, but are they really interested in basically in, in my case, um, I was thinking, okay, my kid will also be interested in science. Like I’m interested in science or business, you know? And it turned out he, his, his area is art. So, you know, I mean, and for me, I have to guide you to understand what your gifts are, how can it support you down the road?
What can you do? Um, you know, it’s actually looking at so, so basically parenting is not just about disciplining them, but also understanding it’s like you’re, you’re, um, helping someone like you’re, you’re the manager of them.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Um, plus the fact that the other thing that I learned about also, uh, These kids never listen to you, especially, you know, if they have, they have, if they have already a language problem, they’re [00:29:00] not going to listen to what you say, whatever that is, but you know what?
They will imitate what you do. So if you want them to be polite, you have to be polite. You’re talking to your spouse. You’re talking to anybody, don’t even talk bad things to them about other people because they will pick that up. Eventually they will do that too. So, but then if you are the type of person who, for example, you know, someone served you food and you said, thank you so much for my food, you know, so your kid would also be like, thank you so much for preparing this food for me, you know, and, um, that’s what I learned about parenting.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: It’s so funny that you say that because when I was, um, when I was a teacher, uh, there would be times like, why is this kid like that? And then we’d meet the parent and be like, Oh,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: the mannerisms, the way they tone, the way they say things. Okay. That’s where she [00:30:00] got this one.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Exactly. Like it just like all of a sudden it’s like, Oh yeah.
Okay. Now like, and it makes sense. It was just so true because if you think about like the developmental stuff, like when you go back to when kids are first, you know, babies are first born, what do they do? They see you smiling at them. So then they eventually smile at you. Yes. They see you laughing. So they eventually laugh and like everything they do is seeing somebody else do it and they’re imitating it.
Yeah. Because that’s what we’re naturally made to do. Yes.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. Right.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Without even thinking about it. It’s just where humans, I mean, all animals for that matter, because watch other animals do it too, is that they watch the parent do whatever it is. And then they imitate what the parent just did.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: So the way you roll your eyes, you know, the way you just side and like little things like that.
And you can see, Oh, this is so much like this person, you know? And. Yeah, but that’s, [00:31:00] that’s what I learned. And so talking to them. So eventually he was able to speak because, uh, when he was younger, he had the hard time, but until now he was, he’s having a hard, when he has a hard time speaking, uh, he knows what to say.
Mom, I lost my words again. I don’t know. They’re he’s actually explaining it. Um, well, I lost my words. It was in my head, but I know what it is, but I cannot say it. And I thought that was interesting. So I, that is really interesting.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And the funny thing too, is that, you know, how a lot of, um, the other, the other controversial issue was the medications for the ADHD, right?
So some parents, we tried it and, um, my son’s problem was that mom, I took it. But I’m so focused that I’m not, he didn’t feel creative. He said, he just told me this is based on him. My work is more creative without it. And so can, can I just not take it? And that’s also the reason why [00:32:00] we homeschool, because he will need the medications when he goes to school to complete all the tasks.
Like I said, if he wants to be an accountant, go ahead. But you know, if, if you want art, you want all these things, you know, okay. Um, um, lack of focus. Okay. That’s fine. Um, you can be more creative doing that. So it’s funny one time, um, when we tried it, I said, Um, Oh, this is good. You finished your schoolwork.
You’re on time. And then the following day, he was behind. So I said, Oh, how come that your work yesterday, you finished it, but this one you didn’t. And he told me, Mom, The medicine. It’s supposed to help me focus. Yeah, but it doesn’t change the fact if I don’t like the subject, I won’t be able to complete it.
Oh, okay. It doesn’t change the desire. Yeah, he said that, that’s what it does, you know, and it’s funny how he [00:33:00] explained to me because I’m the one who used to be, um, who practice medicine. And he told me it’s not going to change the fact that I don’t like what I’m doing right now. That’s what he told me.
And he was finishing an essay at that time. So yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: So I want to touch base on, so I know like we started like at the beginning, you thought about homeschooling, but you didn’t find a way you weren’t sure how to do it. And you were so, I don’t know, but then when the time was right, it, Everything fell into place so that you could homeschool.
Looking back now, um, and I, I don’t always like doing this, but like looking back now, do you regret anything? Is there anything you would’ve done differently?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: No, I
Frances Shefter, Esq.: don’t,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: I don’t think, I don’t feel the regret. I actually felt it’s a good thing that we homeschooled in high school. Um. Because after the homeschool, he, he even, he, he actually got accepted into an art school in California for [00:34:00] college. But, um, they have this program wherein he can try it during the summer and see what he thinks.
So the problem there was the deadlines. And he’s going to move there and we just moved to here in Maryland. And so I said, you know, all I know is that there’s a time for, for the school to happen. So you don’t have to worry. So me after high school, I went straight to pre med. My husband. went to military and went back to school later.
So I said, this is what your dad did. Because he knows if he goes to school early, he may not do well, but he went later, and he finished cum laude, you know. So you can go to school later and it is fine. But right now you will focus on things that you like and um, what you enjoy doing as long as we [00:35:00] can. But of course, you know, we have to plan how you will be without mom and dad, you know, it’s something that we want to have in mind.
So, um, looking back getting that acceptance from a school that makes him feel good. So that, that made him feel like, Oh, I can do it. I can go there, you know, even if I’m also homeschooled. And, um, so, so that helps. And for me, I know that the alternative would be, um, a young man who is probably rebellious right now.
That’s what I think he would probably be rebellious right now. And he probably hates the world because they already hate, hated that they’re different. So what they can hold on to is the gift that they have if they discover, Oh, I’m good at this. You know, cause I told him, nobody’s good at what you’re good at.
You know, every person has something that they’re good, which actually, which is interesting because remember I went to medical school. because that’s where my parents want me to go [00:36:00] to. Um, yes. And but when I was, uh, when I was middle school, I was writing, I was writing a lot of points and all that.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And what happened here is that my son reminded me of the artist in me, that I’m also an artist.
I, I write. So right now I published, I published them in media. My right points a lot of times. Yeah. So, so he made me see that. Otherwise, I will not go back to that, and I will just be doing my job, and, but it’s such a stress release to do art, so, and so I love writing, I enjoy, um, so without him, I wouldn’t have rediscovered that about myself.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah, it’s so funny you say that because I definitely, Um, you know, I studied art in Italy for a semester and that, and art is a big thing for me. And I always say, I wish I had time to do it. And you know what? I need to start making time to do it.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. You know,
Frances Shefter, Esq.: importance, especially like being a lawyer and a law [00:37:00] firm owner.
And I’m like business, business, business, business, business. There’s no, I mean, There’s really no creativity. You know, there is some with analyzing this case and that case, but like when like just true creativity, letting it out, there isn’t much. And it’s so important, I think, for everyone to like, do what you love.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. And you got to remember too, that, um, art helps especially, um, With our mental health, because a lot of the songs that were written, a lot of the stories, a lot of paintings or any form of sculpture or anything, those are, for me, I had a poem about this. It’s actually a non it. It is about conversion of that pain into something beautiful.
And then you let the whole world fall in love with the product because of your pain. You know, you convert pain to beauty, and then you let the whole world, um, fall in love with it. And that’s why [00:38:00] we listen to songs. Because that makes us feel good. But someone’s pain made that song, you know? And in return, they, they make people happy, and they, they get healed.
So, for me, I thought at that time, Point on it was important to be, you know, my son was a photographer and a very good artist. Um, I purchased, um, a professional, uh, uh, professional camera for him. He got a very good camera and a lot of people said, Oh, that’s a waste of money. I said, no, it’s not going to be a waste of money.
And right now we have all his photos and the fact that he can see them and he’s proud of his work. I want him to feel that, that I am good.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: That’s priceless.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes, I have something I am something that I’m good at and I showed him my other friends photographer of photos. These are these, these are their photos.
It’s like what you have. Can you imagine if you become as old as they are, you know, and that really makes him feel good. [00:39:00]
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. And it’s so true. It’s so, you know, like, it, it just, it triggered, um, last night I was watching, so you think You can dance and one of the solos was just, I mean, it was her pain, like, like, and she put it out in her dance and just the love we all felt for her.
Like you just saw, you know, like you just saw it, the, the audience, the, the, the judges, everyone. It was just, and it is, you let the pain out and you let others love you and, and it releases it.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And I love it that it’s nonverbal. You know, like, you
Frances Shefter, Esq.: don’t have to go see a therapist all the time, like, you know, but find what works for you and find what calms you and how you can get it out.
However, that is, and, you know, move on. It’s just, yeah. So I love it. So like, like, I just, because like, Bringing it back full circle. Like you have an elementary kid, you have the diagnosis, you see their struggles, you’re thinking about homeschooling, but you’re not going to be able to make it work, you can’t make it [00:40:00] work.
And then all of a sudden the middle school, you’re like, Oh my gosh, we’ve got to figure this out. And then you figured it out. You know, the universe provided what you needed when you needed it. And you have an amazing son now. Um, I’ve seen his pictures. I’ve seen his modeling. Like, he’s just awesome. And, um, and then like looking back, there were no regrets.
Like you did what you needed to do at the right time, you know? And that’s, that’s what I think also is like, people are like, well, I don’t know. Should I do it in elementary school? Should I do it in middle school? Like, you know what, take the step back. Look at all your options and when it’s right, the way we’ll present itself.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. And one thing more that I think I want to share, you know, so I think I met a lot of parents, they decided to homeschool, but then they brought the school mentality to home. You know, they have a start time, they have this time and then they have testings, you know, um, Now, you know, you’re bringing, so the school might be [00:41:00] better if that is the case.
So you have to, you, you have to think outside the box, like remove the box, you know, there’s a box, you know, we’re going to do it. And your basis would be your child. Just look at them. And I think you have to accept them for who they are. Sometimes we can accept it, you know, like, for example, if I want, if I were really, Um, thinking that, okay, one day my son’s gonna be like me or continue what I haven’t done, you know, I didn’t go to practice in medical school, I didn’t practice as a doctor, maybe he should do it.
If I think that way, you know, that’s going to be really stressful. But then if you just learn to accept, oh, that’s what you’re into, I know nothing about that. Maybe if I can learn something about that, I would understand you more. Um, I think it’s important that they get that support.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. No, it’s so true.
I love how you say that you, that you bring the school into the house. Cause that’s so true. What curriculum am I going to use? How am I going to do a curriculum? What am I, it’s like, [00:42:00] you don’t need a curriculum. You know what I mean? Like, you know, there’s tons of like, now there’s Facebook, there’s homeschool groups, there’s places online for support groups and you figure it out and make it happen.
Um, yeah, it’s just the things we do for our kids. Like, you know, I think back in like what, you know, like everybody looked back on your life. And think back, you know, way back when, did you think you would be where you are now? Did you think you could do what you’re doing now? Right? Like I know for me, no way.
If you had told me, you know, way back when, when I was in high school, that I was going to be a law, a lawyer and a law firm owner, I would have laughed in your face, you know, cause that was not, that wasn’t even a goal of mine. That wasn’t even on the top of anything I even thought about, but it’s just the way life took me.
And once I let go and let my interests Guide the way I wanted to learn and I wasn’t a good reader in elementary school. And so I didn’t think I was smart. Um, and look at you now, but [00:43:00] look at me now. Right. I got into law school. I made it onto law review, you know, like I graduated, I owned a law firm, you know, obviously I can read.
It just wasn’t, they weren’t doing it in the way that. You’re making,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: you’re making you read something you don’t want to read.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Exactly. That’s the most common one, right? Right. And forced into like, you have to read Shakespeare and you have to read this and you have to read that and, and analyze it this way.
But like, why?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. Yes. The way, the way you think, everything, you have to follow it. If you go outside that, you’re, you’re not, You’re not gonna be good. So, so I think it is important to look at your child and understand how unique are they and I, it will be a problem if you don’t like what they’re good at or what they do, but it’s important to acknowledge it because it might even move.
Like, for example, they like doing it and eventually they don’t. I remember with my child, um, [00:44:00] So he was in Montessori and they have the, it started with the, the puzzle maps because they, so he spent a lot in math. And then if he’s not doing math, he would be doing the puzzles of the continents. And that’s how it evolved.
He started to read about those. countries, uh, all around the world. And now he is studying history. So, and I don’t, yes. And I don’t like teaching him how to read because it’s stressful. So I left him alone. I bought, I bought books that maybe he would like to read based on the movies that he watched. And eventually he, he read, he read them all.
And right. That’s why right now. He’s at home, he’s not in college, but what I did was I send him to Montgomery Community College. They have a lot of non credit courses. Take the non credit courses, not gonna, and then he takes all the history classes. Sometimes it’s about money that they teach. Um, he enjoys [00:45:00] all those.
So he’s gonna do that until he’s ready. And I want to hear it from him. He eventually said, Maybe when I’m ready, you know, someday I’m gonna go start going to school at the actual college. And, um, and I said, you don’t have to, you know, and you can really come up with, with other things to do, um, as long as you’re happy.
But I just want you to understand that. But what made him think that is because you really love history. So, yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. No, that’s great. And it’s, it’s, and you, you had said something, um, or, or you wrote it somewhere about, about your son being your compass. And I love that, you know, because like, and that’s it.
Like our children should be our compass, especially when it comes to their education, their future and their lives. Focus on your child. What is emotionally, what does your child need? You know, socially, what does your child need? The math, the reading, the writing, all that stuff will come. You know, but yeah, [00:46:00] get that social emotional peace where it needs to be and then worry about the rest.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Like the reason why I love about homeschool is that, oh, today, what are we going to do? OK, I’ll just hug you today, you know, because he’s going to tell me because I asked. You got to tell me if you’re having a hard time. I’m having a hard time. And remember, what he does is what he likes anyway. Meaning if he’s not doing them, he’s not, he’s not doing, he’s not feeling good.
So, um, so he gets to choose it. It’s, it’s the, it’s the Montessori that I, I followed, but you, you, what I did was I stick to the basics. There’s math, you know, yeah, you can do that, but you don’t have to, um, and they have to be meaningful. So, um, especially when something’s going on and this is a good time to learn this topic, because that’s how you learn it versus, This is what’s going on in, in the whole, you know, in the whole state or what’s going on in the world and you’re studying something totally different.
It will not [00:47:00] sink in. So you want to take advantage like the pandemic. This is the time to study science about viruses, you know. Right. Yes. I
Frances Shefter, Esq.: love that you say like, like, it, it might be a day that he just needs to be held because like, that’s one of the things we talk about a lot of like, you know what, if my kid really needs a mental health day, I’m going to keep her home.
The problem with when she goes to regular school, she’s now missing assignments. She’s now missing tests. She’s now missing this. So she’s falling behind, which is making more anxiety, which just wasted the mental health day because now you’ve. Doubled it all up again. You know, um, this has been so awesome.
Kitchie. I’m so glad we finally connected and got on together. It’s been like over a year. I think, I think you were like one of the first guests and then things happen. And I’m so happy we finally got together and got to have this conversation and listeners. I hope you’ve been listening and I hope you’ve got as much information out of this as I did, and just [00:48:00] insights of being a parent and also, you know, health insurance and social.
Security analyst. So if you ever need that stuff, we will have that contact information in the show notes so you can reach out to Kitchie, but thank you, Kitchie. This has been wonderful.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Thank you so much.
Voice-Over: You’ve been listening to Stress-Free IEP® with your host, Frances Shefter. Remember you do not need to do it all alone.
You can reach Frances through Shefterlaw. com where prior episodes are also posted. Thank you for your positive reviews. Comments and sharing the show with others through YouTube, LinkedIn, Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, and more.
Homeschooling a Special Needs Student with Kitchie McBride
Stress-Free IEP® with Frances Shefter, Episode 57
In this episode of Stress-Free IEP® Frances Shefter speaks with Kitchie McBride, MHA, a health insurance broker and social security analyst. Kitchie delves into her personal journey of homeschooling her son, who has special needs, and shares insights into the challenges and decisions that led her to adopt homeschooling during his high school years. Her background as a non-practicing physician and her experiences in healthcare finance further enrich the discussion.
Tune in to the episode to hear about:
Learn more about Kitchie McBride:
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Stress-Free IEP®:
Frances Shefter is an Education Attorney and Advocate who is committed to helping her clients have a Stress-Free IEP® experience. In each podcast, Frances interviews inspiring people to share information, educate you, empower you and help you get the knowledge you need.
Watch more episodes of Stress-Free IEP®:
Connect and learn more from your host, Frances Shefter:
Read the whole transcript here:
[00:00:00]
Voice-Over: Welcome to Stress-Free IEP®. You do not need to do it all alone. With your host, Frances Shefter, Principal of Shefter Law. You can get more details and catch prior episodes at www. Shefterlaw.com. The Stress-Free IEP® video podcast is also posted on YouTube and LinkedIn, and you can listen to episodes through Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher, and more. Now, here’s the host of Stress-Free IEP®, Frances Shefter.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Hello everyone and welcome to the show Today’s guest Kitchie McBride is a very special guest and I know I say that often but here’s the reason So kitschy is a health insurance broker and a social security analyst But the reason she became that is because of her special needs child and the help that That she [00:01:00] realized other parents will need.
But even more importantly, she chose to homeschool her child, which I know a lot of my watchers and listeners are in that. Should I homeschool? Should I not homeschool? Is it the right decision? Is it? The wrong decision. And that’s why inviting Kitschie on, I thought was so important because she has so much information and from the point of view of us as a parent, like what that looks like. So Kitschie, please say hello. Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Hello, everyone. It’s so nice to be here. Thank you, Frances, for inviting me. I actually, what I do right now, I’m a health insurance broker. I only focus on health and I’m also a social security analyst. Uh, it’s a registered social security analyst where I help people understand their benefits and that includes disability benefits.
Now, um, I am here today to talk about my experiences, um, as, [00:02:00] um, homeschool mom. But I just wanted to clarify that I homeschool around. high school. So basically my child attended preschool. It’s a Montessori based preschool and then he went to a private school. And, um, we also have to deal with the public school because of the IEP.
And I want to share all about that.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Thank you. Yeah, that is wonderful. Cause I mean, that’s it as a parent of a child with special needs, you know, um, different abilities, all the PC terms that we all use. Um, It’s, it’s a challenging and school is such a big part.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: And so what, so I know, and interestingly that you said high school, cause a lot of, a lot of times we can get the kids through elementary school, right?
And then that’s when things start happen. So what made you move from private to, um, to homeschooling?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. I, well, first of all, when he was younger and we, when we found [00:03:00] out because my son has, um, autism, uh, he’s in the autism spectrum, he has ADHD and he has, um, uh, Mixed Expressive and Receptive Language Disorder.
Now, when he was so young, I thought, am I supposed to homeschool him, and I wasn’t prepared for it. First of all, I don’t know what to do if I will homeschool him. But at the same time, at that age, there’s a lot of preschools, and the elementary schools, or the grade schoolers, They don’t really require too much from them, or maybe especially from the state where we come from, you came from Hawaii, you’re more about playing and all that.
So it was still okay. And I’m still deciding, am I going to homeschool you or not? But I really don’t know what to do. And at that time, so my son is now 20 years old, but during that time, there are no Facebook groups that you could ask a lot of parents, it’s not easy. And I was also working. And so, um, [00:04:00] it was.
a little bit, you know, I, I have to first observe my son, how he is with other kids in school. And I’m trying to know him. And like I mentioned to you before, it’s very important to know my child for, for my perspective, I need to know what his strengths are, what are his weaknesses. And then after that, I can understand what is he going to be dealing with?
Like, what are the threats? What are the opportunities out there? And so, um, When he’s younger, it’s okay. He comes back home and he will have a problem with school, but he can get the help. He get, we get tutors for him and everything. But then when he was in middle school, this is when all comes out. And I was told about that by, by the teachers.
When he goes into middle school and he moves into high school, you will see all of these issues because, you know, the topics becomes more complicated, the [00:05:00] subjects. And so the, Just more than one teacher who told me if I have to insert them into a ranking, I don’t know where to put him because a lot of kids with special needs, their development is asynchronous.
They could be high up in one skill and they can be low in one skill. And now, now you’re gonna put them in a classroom and try to see where they fit. Then they don’t fit. That’s why, um, they’re unique. And so what are we going to do with high school?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Because When we had one of the evaluations during that time, um, the self esteem is at risk and that will, I know that that will worsen by the time that he gets into high school because the more he can see how different he is.
So it’s not, it’s going to be a problem. And so I have to [00:06:00] convince my husband because another issue are the parents. One parent will not agree with it, because they haven’t heard of it. And especially, it’s a different model. I said, I’m going to do a self directed learning model. It’s based on the Montessori, because that’s what he had in preschool.
And I thought, I really like that model. And so I want to implement that, do it in a high school, and, um, make it child led or student led. And so I have to convince him, uh, when I decided that was the main decision, because when they were moving into high school, I, I remember attending an interview with the principal of the school where he went.
It was a school for, uh, the gifted with, with dyslexia or language based disorder. And, um, The principal said something like, they need, it will become different. They’re preparing us. It will become different from the middle school because they have to meet deadlines. And [00:07:00] you know, with a child with an ADHD, he’s actually basically, We’re talking about a kid who’s time blind.
Deadline is a problem. And so, uh, I, I knew that if he goes into high school with a regular school, um, it’s, it may not help him. But what I really wanted to happen is that, you know, how, how, when you go to school, you spend six to eight hours a day in school, people told you exactly what you’re going to do.
And then you come home and how, and how
Frances Shefter, Esq.: you have to do it. Yes.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: How you do it. And then you come home. You only have this little tiny time to do what you like. So what you’re passionate about and how you going to hone your gifts. So I decided, I said, you know what, we reverse it. You go to school. I mean, you go home school and then whatever you learn, what you want to learn and what you need to learn, they will be those two hours a day.
Okay. if you want to at that time, [00:08:00] but you’re not getting no pressure. So that’s how I ended up, you know, saying you’re going to go homeschool. And he was thankful down the road.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. And you were both you and your husband were both working full time when you did this, correct?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. The only difference is my husband.
He works full time. He works for the government federal because he’s a retired air force. And I, um, I, I, I switch. Actually, I was Growing up, my son, I was working in the healthcare system. Um, I was in healthcare finance. My, my background is I was, I’m a non practicing physician. So I came from the Philippines where I earned my medical doctorate degree, moved to the United States, and my first encounter was, um, how different it is when my child is younger.
Why am I going to the Department of Health? Because my son couldn’t speak and then to the school, so I was trying to understand that and that’s how it got me there. So I was working full time [00:09:00] and it was, it was really difficult to the point that I, when I left. So as I went back to school in the US, I took my master’s in health administration, went into working for the hospital systems.
And I can’t do it because you have to work, you have to be in the office and then you have a child and I worry about school and what’s going to happen to him and all that. So eventually, when I fully paid my loan in student loan, I said, I’m going to just. be self employed, work for myself, and that’s how I decided if that’s included in the plan.
If I homeschool him, I should be self employed. So I control my time.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: So you felt you found a way to make it happen because yes, but
Kitchie McBride, MHA: yes, but none in, in my, you know, way, way back, I have no idea that this is where I will be one day. And it’s because of my son, and it’s [00:10:00] not like it’s my choice, but it’s just, well, I have to do it because we’re moms, we’re parents, we do what we have to do for our kids, right?
Yes. So, so, you know, you have plans, but then, you know, it’s not going to happen. Yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Right. Exactly. And, um, somebody once told me, a rabbi’s wife once told me that, uh, we make plans and God laughs. You know, so we can make all the plans we want, but like, I’m, you know, whether you believe in God or not, whatever universe, I’m a such a strong believer of once you figure out, you make your determination of where, what you want to do and how, the how will come, right?
So like, that’s what happened. We’re able to self employ. You were able to get into something that is related to children with disabilities and you found a way to succeed.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Teacher’s son and he’s graduated now, right? He is,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: but like I realized, you know, um, you can’t just really say that’s not for me. I’m not going to do that. Right. You know, like I, I thought [00:11:00] before what, you know, I, well, I went to school. I became a medical doctor. I even took my master’s degree. I have all these things, you know, now I have to sit down and think. look back and assess, yeah, I did all that, but it’s, I have to use it not in the way that I envisioned it.
I have to use them, you know, I have to use them so that, um, uh, uh, They don’t go into ways, but at the same time it has to integrate with what I’m going to do for my son. So that includes now helping people because what we’ve learned before is it’s difficult to find financial assistance. It’s difficult to find resources.
It’s difficult to find, um, who’s going to cover for something that he needs. And so right now, That’s actually what I do. I, I do have a business of insurance, but it’s really all about, um, a, a big portion of my business is [00:12:00] charity. ’cause even if it’s Medicaid, I’ll help you because I know how that works.
So, yes. Mm-Hmm. .
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. Which is great. It’s just, you know, we say it, we do what we have to do for our kids, you know? And, um, I know like, it’s, it’s a hard place. It’s, it’s what? The schools do the best they can, as we know, but for our neurodiverse kids that don’t fit in the circle or the square or the triangle that they have, they’re kind of lost.
And like, how do we program for them? Um, and I know, like, I sit in IEP meetings and I talk to potential clients about, you know, what is the best situation? And I always start with, what is your vision? Like, right now, what is the best case scenario? Do you want them? With all special ed kids. Do you want them in a private school?
Do you want them in a non public, you know, like let’s start there and then we can reverse engineer it and go back and figure out the steps we need to take. And sometimes there’s a pivot in there because you change your mind. Like, well, you know [00:13:00] what, this might work, which is what sounds like you, like you did private school and that was working for a while until it wasn’t.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Right. Yes, because I was, we were thinking before he needs that social socialization, the interaction that is the most important. And there’s one thing that I will never forget. It was the, it was the principal of the Montessori preschool. And she told me whatever happens, the most, uh, the thing that you will prioritize is the, emotional and social.
Without that, the learning will not even happen. Because she told me, don’t worry about if they can read or not read or anything, but as long as he’s emotionally stable, that’s your focus because that’s actually where the problem is with, um, with, uh, kids like my son. And so, um, I keep on thinking about that.
So even if, for example, he’s [00:14:00] struggling with school, sometimes I just have to hold him for the rest of the day. That’s what I love about homeschool. So, uh, no teacher will be mad that, you know, he didn’t go to school or he was late. Um, uh, I gave him that because sometimes we hurry kids to grow, but in reality, up to 21 or 18 years, that’s really short when especially people have a long time to live right now.
So even right now at 20, um, I allow him to sleep, just sleep.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: If you want to catch up, uh, just to sleep if you want, and then, um, do what you like. And, um, we’ll work on it. One day you will be able to, uh, to be on your own or you will, you should know where to go and find out the help that you will need.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: That’s so great. And so what did you do for the socialization in high school? Like, so he was homeschooled for several years. What did, like, how did he get that interaction?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yeah. So, um, the other reason why I was [00:15:00] comfortable or more confident to put him into homeschool during high school is because during middle school, um, I told him, um, you know, there’s this, because, okay, think about this.
I’ve already assessed my son’s, uh, strengths and weaknesses. And one of them, um, of course, The weakness is language. He had a hard time speaking, communicating with people. However, when you look at his, um, evaluations or, um, testings, you know, he is scoring very high with nonverbal communications. But in terms of speaking, there, there’s really a huge delay.
So what can he do if he is not good in speaking? So it’s anything visual. So I said, um, um, first I said, you know, what if you learned modeling? You’re not going to speak. So, um, [00:16:00] that was easy for him. So he met kids in modeling schools. That’s where he gets his socialization. And then he enjoyed it. I like this one.
I want to do this. And then he even learned voice acting because in voice acting, yes, he, he, he reads it and he memorizes it and then he speaks it and you know, the tone and everything he learned that. And then, uh, we found another, uh, modeling school, uh, in New York and he joined that too. So the rest of this, uh, high school, um, I believe the pandemic was around that time, so they converted everything into, uh, the Zoom meetings, and that’s how he attended the classes.
That’s how he got his socializations, aside from the friends that he met when he was younger. He’s still friends with them, so they go out, you know, it’s a small circle. So that’s where mostly socialization is. And eventually when he got older, he starts to, uh, attend the New [00:17:00] York fashion week, New Jersey fashion week, and his friends all over, uh, the nation.
So I thought it was good enough. Yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: And that is so wonderful. Cause that’s one of the biggest fears I know. I mean, it’s in, in the, the mom groups, we are all talking about like, what are we going to do? Like, where’s our child? What’s going on? Um, school refusal. They’re not quite making it in gen ed. Are they gonna, you know, but full special ed’s not right.
And, but what are we going to do about the socialization? Like how, but like you said, you find classes of their interest. So, you know, right. Like if you have a child that’s really into gymnastics, that you go do gymnastics, right. Or whatever sports. They’re into, there’s always something you can get your children involved in for that socialization.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. Um, but just to let you know, one of the things that I noticed when he did, uh, the, the, the New York Fashion Week, uh, last time, uh, so I observed him, can he do this without [00:18:00] support? So there was a portion wherein they’re going to come out and they have to hold a, it’s, it’s a soda. Um, can, that they’re supposed to promote, you know, he didn’t come out.
So after that, he came out with the rest when they’re, when they all, um, uh, took the walk. And then after the show, I asked him, how come you weren’t out there when they’re showing the soda? He said, mom, I didn’t understand the instructions. Cause you remember. Right. So usually when, with his disability, um, when a concept is brand new, it’s a little bit slow to process it.
So it needs a lot of repetitions, right? Now, none in the practice ever that made them say they’re going to hold something when they walk, you know, and, um, He never heard that. And so now he was being given, uh, verbal instructions. And, but to be honest, [00:19:00] Right. And the others got confused. Some other kids even came out, you know, because they’re, they’re up to like early twenties and thirties or something.
And there’s little kids, they come out and the soda was like upside down, they’re showing it, but they don’t really understand what they’re going to do. But my son really just don’t understand anything that he didn’t even come out at all. So that’s one thing that I have to take note that at this age, um, okay.
Someone must understand and explain this. So, so I, I still take observations of what he can and cannot do. Yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah, no, that’s great. Cause cause they’re going to need support. And like today, from what I understand, the workforce is being more understanding and more accepting and making accommodations and looking for the strengths, because, you know, I say it all the time that our kids.
I hate special needs. I don’t like that term. I don’t like different. I don’t like any of that. Like this is the way their brain works. [00:20:00] This is what society says is normal. And then this is what the way your brain works, but we need brains that work differently, because if not, how boring would we be, right?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes, and you know, I’m just worried. So that’s why I want to emphasize, it’s about, as a parent, to me, um, All I learned here is that every single person is unique, but if you try to fit them in what the, in what our society said is the standard, you will really miss your kids, your son’s gift or your family’s gift.
child’s gifts. And I really don’t want parents to miss that because before, think about it, think about me. I went to school. Well, all the way to doctorate and I love school. I even went back. And until now I continue to study to school, school, school. And then I have a son who has a problem in school. And if I [00:21:00] put the same expectation to him that you’re going to go to school, you’re also going to get this degrees and all that, you know, I will miss a whole lot because, um, when, when, Aside from being a fashion model, my, my son is also a very, uh, good photographer.
He is a fine art photographer. And I learned that because I was just, I have my own camera and he was in middle school and he borrowed it. And I, I was, I was shocked because I didn’t think my camera can do what he did. So it turned out that he had the gift for that. He’s, he’s a visual artist. So, um, I’m, I’m not going to know that if I only focus on what he cannot, cannot do.
So for me, it’s like, okay, what is it that you can do? Let’s focus on that first. And then let’s focus on the others.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Right. And give them that chance. And I love that you say it, the social and emotional, because I say that also social and emotional health is, [00:22:00] it’s number one. Because, you know, and, and that’s the argument I make when people try to say that autism or ADHD, there’s no educational impact because the child’s getting straight A’s or, you know, is above grade level and everything.
And it’s like, but the, the educational impact is that they’re not available for learning. If you’re in your head, socially stressed out emotionally, um, Trying to keep yourself together, whatever it is, you are not learning the way you need to be learning, you know? And so like outside, you might be that, what was those people that are, that can read something once and memorize it and score the test or learn how to fake test or whatever it is, but that doesn’t mean you’re actually absorbing and learning in a safe, good environment, right?
Okay, you muted yourself. Okay, there you are. Um, you know, and so that’s so like focusing on our kids needs. And unfortunately, the school systems as good as it is in Maryland and Montgomery County, it still has a [00:23:00] long way to go. And other areas of the country are even worse. Um, but like, It’s just our kids.
Social and emotional are what matters most. And as parents or, you know, whether it’s adoptive parents, guardians, foster parents, whatever it is focusing on that social and emotional health health. Is where it is.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And you got to remember as a parent now before you can even support your kids emotional health, you have to take care of your own.
Now you have to be emotionally stable. So that’s what I learned here. Oh, you know, uh, now I have to, you have to deal. And usually when you are married, so we met people who got divorced along the way, right? So. So think about those and now how are you going to to deal with that and they also have problems at work.
So I go to work and it’s very difficult, especially [00:24:00] also, um, for me, in our experience, I found it difficult for my end because Um, for my husband, it’s easy for him to leave work and pick up my son. But for me, for some reason, I would hear something, I guess, because of the place where I was working, um, I would, I would miss a promotion because I wasn’t there.
I’m not reliable. I have to be out, you know, so these are the impact to the parents. And now, um, you want to give this parent support, but I think over time, what I noticed is that, um, the support that parents get, because, because right now we have a lot of information floating everywhere. Now, one of the issues would be down misinformation or disinformation or getting that information incorrectly.
I don’t know what to say with that. But the only thing I can say is that every information that I encounter, I will only use it depending on how I know my [00:25:00] child. So it’s really centered on the on the kid. But then again, you know, If you think of their emotional, you think about yours too. So it’s not, it’s not for the faint of heart.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. I mean, it’s, it’s, I know like with my child and her, well, both my children and their different needs, like I’ve had to take the step back and look at my needs and who I am and my stuff. my expectations and my parenting styles and all that other stuff. Um, because guess what? It’s not working. It’s not, you know, like people say, what do you mean your kid doesn’t go to school?
Like you go to school, that’s what you’re supposed to do, but that’s not the way today’s world is. And it’s, you know, what’s more important, forcing my kid to go to school that they’re going to wind up having a bad day. Chances are I’m going to get called to pick them up or there’s going to be an incident that happens or whatever, or just let the kids stay home for the day.
And, you know, they need a brain break. We get them as [00:26:00] adults, right?
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Um, yeah. And that’s the other thing is they take care of ourselves because if our cup is empty, we have nothing to give left. And so that is true, take the me time and take, you know, coaching or whatever it may be like, take care of ourselves, but putting that focus, I can imagine how, how more relaxed.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: the family became once you took off that pressure of the school demands.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. It was really relaxed in, uh, during the homeschool, but now my problem was, was my husband, because he’s so concerned. He’s not doing anything. He’s used to like doing things and I’m like, leave him alone. He’s, he’s growing. And he was thinking that this might not be good for him, but eventually, um, uh, he agreed because you, you yourself will be the one.
Who would be having headaches if they’re being called to school because the problem [00:27:00] happens. Um, the problem shouldn’t be there. So think about it. If we put him into a high school and then he has to do all these other things and then he will have other experiences and now he’s stressed. So you actually put in there to get the stress.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: So, you know, so I might as well just keep him and then just attend his other modeling classes. He attends them once a week, um, meets with them, um, certain months and, you know, have a good time and, um, used all that time to hone whatever gift that he has. We’ve seen this, we’ve seen, um, celebrities like, uh, people in entertainment, you know, they do this, people who are in sports.
They focus more on sports. They focus more on, uh, whatever, um, talents that they have. We’ve seen them and they didn’t really do much in, in school. So it’s just a matter of leaving your kid. Now, if he ended up to be, uh, a math wizard and he wants to be a doctor and he’s really studying, studying, studying, I, I’m [00:28:00] all for that.
He can do that. But again, you, you want to look at the child, but are they really interested in basically in, in my case, um, I was thinking, okay, my kid will also be interested in science. Like I’m interested in science or business, you know? And it turned out he, his, his area is art. So, you know, I mean, and for me, I have to guide you to understand what your gifts are, how can it support you down the road?
What can you do? Um, you know, it’s actually looking at so, so basically parenting is not just about disciplining them, but also understanding it’s like you’re, you’re, um, helping someone like you’re, you’re the manager of them.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Um, plus the fact that the other thing that I learned about also, uh, These kids never listen to you, especially, you know, if they have, they have, if they have already a language problem, they’re [00:29:00] not going to listen to what you say, whatever that is, but you know what?
They will imitate what you do. So if you want them to be polite, you have to be polite. You’re talking to your spouse. You’re talking to anybody, don’t even talk bad things to them about other people because they will pick that up. Eventually they will do that too. So, but then if you are the type of person who, for example, you know, someone served you food and you said, thank you so much for my food, you know, so your kid would also be like, thank you so much for preparing this food for me, you know, and, um, that’s what I learned about parenting.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: It’s so funny that you say that because when I was, um, when I was a teacher, uh, there would be times like, why is this kid like that? And then we’d meet the parent and be like, Oh,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: the mannerisms, the way they tone, the way they say things. Okay. That’s where she [00:30:00] got this one.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Exactly. Like it just like all of a sudden it’s like, Oh yeah.
Okay. Now like, and it makes sense. It was just so true because if you think about like the developmental stuff, like when you go back to when kids are first, you know, babies are first born, what do they do? They see you smiling at them. So then they eventually smile at you. Yes. They see you laughing. So they eventually laugh and like everything they do is seeing somebody else do it and they’re imitating it.
Yeah. Because that’s what we’re naturally made to do. Yes.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. Right.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Without even thinking about it. It’s just where humans, I mean, all animals for that matter, because watch other animals do it too, is that they watch the parent do whatever it is. And then they imitate what the parent just did.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: So the way you roll your eyes, you know, the way you just side and like little things like that.
And you can see, Oh, this is so much like this person, you know? And. Yeah, but that’s, [00:31:00] that’s what I learned. And so talking to them. So eventually he was able to speak because, uh, when he was younger, he had the hard time, but until now he was, he’s having a hard, when he has a hard time speaking, uh, he knows what to say.
Mom, I lost my words again. I don’t know. They’re he’s actually explaining it. Um, well, I lost my words. It was in my head, but I know what it is, but I cannot say it. And I thought that was interesting. So I, that is really interesting.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And the funny thing too, is that, you know, how a lot of, um, the other, the other controversial issue was the medications for the ADHD, right?
So some parents, we tried it and, um, my son’s problem was that mom, I took it. But I’m so focused that I’m not, he didn’t feel creative. He said, he just told me this is based on him. My work is more creative without it. And so can, can I just not take it? And that’s also the reason why [00:32:00] we homeschool, because he will need the medications when he goes to school to complete all the tasks.
Like I said, if he wants to be an accountant, go ahead. But you know, if, if you want art, you want all these things, you know, okay. Um, um, lack of focus. Okay. That’s fine. Um, you can be more creative doing that. So it’s funny one time, um, when we tried it, I said, Um, Oh, this is good. You finished your schoolwork.
You’re on time. And then the following day, he was behind. So I said, Oh, how come that your work yesterday, you finished it, but this one you didn’t. And he told me, Mom, The medicine. It’s supposed to help me focus. Yeah, but it doesn’t change the fact if I don’t like the subject, I won’t be able to complete it.
Oh, okay. It doesn’t change the desire. Yeah, he said that, that’s what it does, you know, and it’s funny how he [00:33:00] explained to me because I’m the one who used to be, um, who practice medicine. And he told me it’s not going to change the fact that I don’t like what I’m doing right now. That’s what he told me.
And he was finishing an essay at that time. So yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: So I want to touch base on, so I know like we started like at the beginning, you thought about homeschooling, but you didn’t find a way you weren’t sure how to do it. And you were so, I don’t know, but then when the time was right, it, Everything fell into place so that you could homeschool.
Looking back now, um, and I, I don’t always like doing this, but like looking back now, do you regret anything? Is there anything you would’ve done differently?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: No, I
Frances Shefter, Esq.: don’t,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: I don’t think, I don’t feel the regret. I actually felt it’s a good thing that we homeschooled in high school. Um. Because after the homeschool, he, he even, he, he actually got accepted into an art school in California for [00:34:00] college. But, um, they have this program wherein he can try it during the summer and see what he thinks.
So the problem there was the deadlines. And he’s going to move there and we just moved to here in Maryland. And so I said, you know, all I know is that there’s a time for, for the school to happen. So you don’t have to worry. So me after high school, I went straight to pre med. My husband. went to military and went back to school later.
So I said, this is what your dad did. Because he knows if he goes to school early, he may not do well, but he went later, and he finished cum laude, you know. So you can go to school later and it is fine. But right now you will focus on things that you like and um, what you enjoy doing as long as we [00:35:00] can. But of course, you know, we have to plan how you will be without mom and dad, you know, it’s something that we want to have in mind.
So, um, looking back getting that acceptance from a school that makes him feel good. So that, that made him feel like, Oh, I can do it. I can go there, you know, even if I’m also homeschooled. And, um, so, so that helps. And for me, I know that the alternative would be, um, a young man who is probably rebellious right now.
That’s what I think he would probably be rebellious right now. And he probably hates the world because they already hate, hated that they’re different. So what they can hold on to is the gift that they have if they discover, Oh, I’m good at this. You know, cause I told him, nobody’s good at what you’re good at.
You know, every person has something that they’re good, which actually, which is interesting because remember I went to medical school. because that’s where my parents want me to go [00:36:00] to. Um, yes. And but when I was, uh, when I was middle school, I was writing, I was writing a lot of points and all that.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And what happened here is that my son reminded me of the artist in me, that I’m also an artist.
I, I write. So right now I published, I published them in media. My right points a lot of times. Yeah. So, so he made me see that. Otherwise, I will not go back to that, and I will just be doing my job, and, but it’s such a stress release to do art, so, and so I love writing, I enjoy, um, so without him, I wouldn’t have rediscovered that about myself.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah, it’s so funny you say that because I definitely, Um, you know, I studied art in Italy for a semester and that, and art is a big thing for me. And I always say, I wish I had time to do it. And you know what? I need to start making time to do it.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. You know,
Frances Shefter, Esq.: importance, especially like being a lawyer and a law [00:37:00] firm owner.
And I’m like business, business, business, business, business. There’s no, I mean, There’s really no creativity. You know, there is some with analyzing this case and that case, but like when like just true creativity, letting it out, there isn’t much. And it’s so important, I think, for everyone to like, do what you love.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. And you got to remember too, that, um, art helps especially, um, With our mental health, because a lot of the songs that were written, a lot of the stories, a lot of paintings or any form of sculpture or anything, those are, for me, I had a poem about this. It’s actually a non it. It is about conversion of that pain into something beautiful.
And then you let the whole world fall in love with the product because of your pain. You know, you convert pain to beauty, and then you let the whole world, um, fall in love with it. And that’s why [00:38:00] we listen to songs. Because that makes us feel good. But someone’s pain made that song, you know? And in return, they, they make people happy, and they, they get healed.
So, for me, I thought at that time, Point on it was important to be, you know, my son was a photographer and a very good artist. Um, I purchased, um, a professional, uh, uh, professional camera for him. He got a very good camera and a lot of people said, Oh, that’s a waste of money. I said, no, it’s not going to be a waste of money.
And right now we have all his photos and the fact that he can see them and he’s proud of his work. I want him to feel that, that I am good.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: That’s priceless.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes, I have something I am something that I’m good at and I showed him my other friends photographer of photos. These are these, these are their photos.
It’s like what you have. Can you imagine if you become as old as they are, you know, and that really makes him feel good. [00:39:00]
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. And it’s so true. It’s so, you know, like, it, it just, it triggered, um, last night I was watching, so you think You can dance and one of the solos was just, I mean, it was her pain, like, like, and she put it out in her dance and just the love we all felt for her.
Like you just saw, you know, like you just saw it, the, the audience, the, the, the judges, everyone. It was just, and it is, you let the pain out and you let others love you and, and it releases it.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: And I love it that it’s nonverbal. You know, like, you
Frances Shefter, Esq.: don’t have to go see a therapist all the time, like, you know, but find what works for you and find what calms you and how you can get it out.
However, that is, and, you know, move on. It’s just, yeah. So I love it. So like, like, I just, because like, Bringing it back full circle. Like you have an elementary kid, you have the diagnosis, you see their struggles, you’re thinking about homeschooling, but you’re not going to be able to make it work, you can’t make it [00:40:00] work.
And then all of a sudden the middle school, you’re like, Oh my gosh, we’ve got to figure this out. And then you figured it out. You know, the universe provided what you needed when you needed it. And you have an amazing son now. Um, I’ve seen his pictures. I’ve seen his modeling. Like, he’s just awesome. And, um, and then like looking back, there were no regrets.
Like you did what you needed to do at the right time, you know? And that’s, that’s what I think also is like, people are like, well, I don’t know. Should I do it in elementary school? Should I do it in middle school? Like, you know what, take the step back. Look at all your options and when it’s right, the way we’ll present itself.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. And one thing more that I think I want to share, you know, so I think I met a lot of parents, they decided to homeschool, but then they brought the school mentality to home. You know, they have a start time, they have this time and then they have testings, you know, um, Now, you know, you’re bringing, so the school might be [00:41:00] better if that is the case.
So you have to, you, you have to think outside the box, like remove the box, you know, there’s a box, you know, we’re going to do it. And your basis would be your child. Just look at them. And I think you have to accept them for who they are. Sometimes we can accept it, you know, like, for example, if I want, if I were really, Um, thinking that, okay, one day my son’s gonna be like me or continue what I haven’t done, you know, I didn’t go to practice in medical school, I didn’t practice as a doctor, maybe he should do it.
If I think that way, you know, that’s going to be really stressful. But then if you just learn to accept, oh, that’s what you’re into, I know nothing about that. Maybe if I can learn something about that, I would understand you more. Um, I think it’s important that they get that support.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. No, it’s so true.
I love how you say that you, that you bring the school into the house. Cause that’s so true. What curriculum am I going to use? How am I going to do a curriculum? What am I, it’s like, [00:42:00] you don’t need a curriculum. You know what I mean? Like, you know, there’s tons of like, now there’s Facebook, there’s homeschool groups, there’s places online for support groups and you figure it out and make it happen.
Um, yeah, it’s just the things we do for our kids. Like, you know, I think back in like what, you know, like everybody looked back on your life. And think back, you know, way back when, did you think you would be where you are now? Did you think you could do what you’re doing now? Right? Like I know for me, no way.
If you had told me, you know, way back when, when I was in high school, that I was going to be a law, a lawyer and a law firm owner, I would have laughed in your face, you know, cause that was not, that wasn’t even a goal of mine. That wasn’t even on the top of anything I even thought about, but it’s just the way life took me.
And once I let go and let my interests Guide the way I wanted to learn and I wasn’t a good reader in elementary school. And so I didn’t think I was smart. Um, and look at you now, but [00:43:00] look at me now. Right. I got into law school. I made it onto law review, you know, like I graduated, I owned a law firm, you know, obviously I can read.
It just wasn’t, they weren’t doing it in the way that. You’re making,
Kitchie McBride, MHA: you’re making you read something you don’t want to read.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Exactly. That’s the most common one, right? Right. And forced into like, you have to read Shakespeare and you have to read this and you have to read that and, and analyze it this way.
But like, why?
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Yes. Yes. The way, the way you think, everything, you have to follow it. If you go outside that, you’re, you’re not, You’re not gonna be good. So, so I think it is important to look at your child and understand how unique are they and I, it will be a problem if you don’t like what they’re good at or what they do, but it’s important to acknowledge it because it might even move.
Like, for example, they like doing it and eventually they don’t. I remember with my child, um, [00:44:00] So he was in Montessori and they have the, it started with the, the puzzle maps because they, so he spent a lot in math. And then if he’s not doing math, he would be doing the puzzles of the continents. And that’s how it evolved.
He started to read about those. countries, uh, all around the world. And now he is studying history. So, and I don’t, yes. And I don’t like teaching him how to read because it’s stressful. So I left him alone. I bought, I bought books that maybe he would like to read based on the movies that he watched. And eventually he, he read, he read them all.
And right. That’s why right now. He’s at home, he’s not in college, but what I did was I send him to Montgomery Community College. They have a lot of non credit courses. Take the non credit courses, not gonna, and then he takes all the history classes. Sometimes it’s about money that they teach. Um, he enjoys [00:45:00] all those.
So he’s gonna do that until he’s ready. And I want to hear it from him. He eventually said, Maybe when I’m ready, you know, someday I’m gonna go start going to school at the actual college. And, um, and I said, you don’t have to, you know, and you can really come up with, with other things to do, um, as long as you’re happy.
But I just want you to understand that. But what made him think that is because you really love history. So, yeah.
Frances Shefter, Esq.: Yeah. No, that’s great. And it’s, it’s, and you, you had said something, um, or, or you wrote it somewhere about, about your son being your compass. And I love that, you know, because like, and that’s it.
Like our children should be our compass, especially when it comes to their education, their future and their lives. Focus on your child. What is emotionally, what does your child need? You know, socially, what does your child need? The math, the reading, the writing, all that stuff will come. You know, but yeah, [00:46:00] get that social emotional peace where it needs to be and then worry about the rest.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Like the reason why I love about homeschool is that, oh, today, what are we going to do? OK, I’ll just hug you today, you know, because he’s going to tell me because I asked. You got to tell me if you’re having a hard time. I’m having a hard time. And remember, what he does is what he likes anyway. Meaning if he’s not doing them, he’s not, he’s not doing, he’s not feeling good.
So, um, so he gets to choose it. It’s, it’s the, it’s the Montessori that I, I followed, but you, you, what I did was I stick to the basics. There’s math, you know, yeah, you can do that, but you don’t have to, um, and they have to be meaningful. So, um, especially when something’s going on and this is a good time to learn this topic, because that’s how you learn it versus, This is what’s going on in, in the whole, you know, in the whole state or what’s going on in the world and you’re studying something totally different.
It will not [00:47:00] sink in. So you want to take advantage like the pandemic. This is the time to study science about viruses, you know. Right. Yes. I
Frances Shefter, Esq.: love that you say like, like, it, it might be a day that he just needs to be held because like, that’s one of the things we talk about a lot of like, you know what, if my kid really needs a mental health day, I’m going to keep her home.
The problem with when she goes to regular school, she’s now missing assignments. She’s now missing tests. She’s now missing this. So she’s falling behind, which is making more anxiety, which just wasted the mental health day because now you’ve. Doubled it all up again. You know, um, this has been so awesome.
Kitchie. I’m so glad we finally connected and got on together. It’s been like over a year. I think, I think you were like one of the first guests and then things happen. And I’m so happy we finally got together and got to have this conversation and listeners. I hope you’ve been listening and I hope you’ve got as much information out of this as I did, and just [00:48:00] insights of being a parent and also, you know, health insurance and social.
Security analyst. So if you ever need that stuff, we will have that contact information in the show notes so you can reach out to Kitchie, but thank you, Kitchie. This has been wonderful.
Kitchie McBride, MHA: Thank you so much.
Voice-Over: You’ve been listening to Stress-Free IEP® with your host, Frances Shefter. Remember you do not need to do it all alone.
You can reach Frances through Shefterlaw. com where prior episodes are also posted. Thank you for your positive reviews. Comments and sharing the show with others through YouTube, LinkedIn, Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher, and more.
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