Helping Neurodivergent Teens Find the Right Work Path 

Stress-Free IEP with Frances Shefter & guest Viktoriya Selden 

In this episode of Stress-Free IEP, host Frances Shefter sits down with Viktoriya Selden, a neuroinclusive career and accommodation specialist who works with disabled and neurodivergent individuals across the U.S. Viktoriya helps teens and young adults figure out what kind of work fits them, where they can thrive, and how to advocate for what they need on the job. 

This conversation is all about one thing parents often push off until it’s too late: real work experience while kids are still in high school—and how that connects to IEPs, self-advocacy, and long-term stability. 

 

Why Work Experience in High School Is Not Optional 

“What is work, actually?” 

Viktoriya pointed out something she sees over and over:
Lots of teens—especially neurodivergent teens—have no concrete idea what “work” means. 

They know: 

  • Work is something adults do after high school or college 
  • Work = “a job” 

…but they don’t know: 

  • What day-to-day tasks look like 
  • What expectations employers have 
  • What “good work habits” actually are 

That’s why Viktoriya believes work experience in high school is critical, especially for neurodivergent students. And no, she doesn’t mean a perfect, long-term paid job. 

Work experience can be: 

  • A part-time job 
  • An unpaid internship 
  • Volunteering 
  • Job shadowing 
  • Informal gigs like dog walking or babysitting 

The point isn’t the paycheck. The point is exposure. 

 

Why “Helping the Teacher” Isn’t Enough 

A lot of students get “community service hours” by helping teachers inside their own school. That’s fine, but Viktoriya is blunt:
It doesn’t push them out of their comfort zone. 

Inside school: 

  • They already know the adults 
  • They already know the environment 
  • They already know the routines 

But actual employment isn’t like that. 

Getting out into unfamiliar environments—a store, office, animal shelter, clinic, etc.—forces them to: 

  • Meet new people 
  • Navigate new expectations 
  • Adjust to new routines and sensory environments 

That’s where the real learning happens. 

 

Work Is a Low-Stakes Place to Learn High-Stakes Lessons 

Viktoriya made a key point:
If a teen makes mistakes at a high school job or internship, the stakes are relatively low. 

Worst-case scenario?
They lose the job and feel disappointed… but: 

  • They’re still at home 
  • They’re still supported 
  • They’re not trying to pay a mortgage or support a family 

Compare that to an adult who realizes after college that their career path doesn’t fit, or who keeps crashing in job after job because the environment is wrong. That’s an expensive, painful way to figure things out. 

Frances shared stories about people who realized halfway through law school that they didn’t actually want to be lawyers—but by then they were already buried in debt. That’s the kind of “oops” that early work experience can help prevent. 

 

Translating Interests Into Real Careers 

“I like anime” is not a career plan 

Viktoriya sees a common pattern when she asks teens about their interests: 

  • “I like video games.” 
  • “I like anime.” 
  • “I like animals.” 

Great. But they don’t know how that connects to actual jobs. 

This is where her work—and parents’ involvement—matters. The process is: 

Start with the interest 

Love animals? Love drawing? Love math? 

Explore the range of related careers 

Love animals: 

  • Vet tech 
  • Shelter worker 
  • Dog groomer 
  • Dog walker/sitter 
  • Pet store staff 
  • Love kids: 
  • Daycare worker 
  • Teacher’s aide 
  • After-school program staff 

Reality-check the messy parts
Example: “I love dogs” 

  1. Are you okay picking up poop? 
  1. Are you okay with loud, constant barking? 
  1. Are you okay handling sick or anxious animals? 

A lot of teens say, “I love dogs,” but the second they think about noise, mess, and stress, they realize:
“Okay… maybe not all day, every day.” 

That’s not failure. That’s useful data. 

 

Environment Matters as Much as the Job 

For neurodivergent individuals, Viktoriya emphasizes that the right environment can make or break a job—sometimes more than the actual tasks. 

She helps students think through questions they’ve usually never been asked: 

  • Do you want to work indoors or outdoors? 
  • Do you prefer working alone or as part of a team? 
  • Do you need a quiet space or can you handle noise? 
  • Do you like moving around or staying mostly in one place? 
  • Can you handle constant interaction with customers, or is that draining? 

Then there’s the part almost nobody teaches teens to consider: 

What kind of boss and work culture do you need? 

Frances was blunt about this:
Adults love to say, “They need to learn to work with people they don’t like.”
Reality? Most adults simply quit jobs where the boss is a terrible fit. 

Teens should be asking themselves: 

  • Do I do better with a hands-on boss who checks in a lot? 
  • Or do I want someone who gives me a project and leaves me alone? 
  • Do I want a structured, traditional workplace? 
  • Or a more flexible, open, casual culture? 

Viktoriya encourages students to treat interviews as two-way conversations: 

  • “Can I see myself working with this person?” 
  • “Does this culture feel safe and workable for me?” 

Frances added that as an employer, she’s impressed when applicants ask questions about how the firm works, not just how they can impress her. That shows they’re actually thinking about fit. 

 

Reflection: The Missing Step After Every Job 

Viktoriya doesn’t want teens to just collect random jobs. She wants them to learn from each one. 

After every work experience—even a short one—she recommends sitting down and actually writing or dictating answers to: 

  • What did I like about this job? 
  • What did I dislike? 
  • What tasks felt easy or natural? 
  • What was really hard? 
  • What about the environment worked or didn’t work (noise, pace, people, schedule)? 
  • What did I learn about the type of boss I do well with? 
  • How does this change what I picture for my long-term goals? 

This can be: 

  • A journal 
  • A spreadsheet 
  • Notes in a phone 
  • Voice recordings 

The format doesn’t matter. The reflection does. 

Patterns will start to show up: 

  • “I always hate loud places.” 
  • “I like detailed tasks.” 
  • “I do better when I can move around.” 
  • “I need clear written instructions.” 

That’s gold when it’s time to choose a training program, college major, or long-term career path. 

 

Self-Advocacy, Disclosure, and Accommodations at Work 

Here’s where school really fails a lot of neurodivergent students. 

In high school, kids may have: 

  • An IEP 
  • A 504 plan 
  • Accommodations like extended time or separate testing rooms 

But most of them: 

  • Have never had to ask for these supports 
  • Have never had to explain what they need 
  • Have no idea how any of this works in the workplace 

Viktoriya spends a lot of time on: 

  1. Understanding disclosure

Teens and young adults need to know: 

  • You are not required to disclose your disability in an interview. 
  • You can disclose: 
  • Before hiring 
  • After being hired 
  • Later on, if problems show up 
  • Or not at all, if you don’t want to request accommodations 

They need to think through why they’re disclosing: 

  • “I just want them to know I’m autistic. If they don’t want to hire me, that’s on them.” 
  • “I need accommodations—so I’m disclosing to get specific supports.” 

Either reason is valid. But they must know that employers do not magically know what accommodations to give. 

  1. Knowing whataccommodationsthey actually need 

Many students only know school-based supports like: 

  • Extended time on tests 
  • Small-group testing 

But work settings look completely different. 

Viktoriya helps them explore questions like: 

  • Do you need instructions written down? 
  • Do you need extra practice during training? 
  • Do you need check-ins during the first few weeks? 
  • Do you need a quiet space for certain tasks? 
  • Do you benefit from a flexible schedule? 

Parents can help kids think through this before they start work by talking through “What if…” scenarios: 

  • What if training is rushed and you still don’t feel ready? 
  • What if you get stuck and don’t know what to do next? 
  • What if your boss explains things too fast? 

This is exactly the kind of self-advocacy that IEP meetings should be preparing kids for. 

 

Connecting This Back to IEPs and Transition Planning 

Frances called out something that comes up constantly in her special education practice: 

Transition sections in IEPs are often generic and useless. 

You see things like: 

  • “Student will explore four-year colleges.” 

That’s not individualized. It’s not connected to: 

  • Actual interests 
  • Real work experiences 
  • Real environments 

What should be there instead? 

Things like: 

  • “Student will participate in at least two community-based work experiences.” 
  • “Student will practice self-advocacy by identifying needed accommodations in at least one work setting.” 
  • “Student will reflect on likes/dislikes from each work experience.” 

The earlier this starts—ideally in middle school conversations, then into high school experiences—the less overwhelming it is later. 

 

When a Job Is Just Not a Good Fit 

Another important reality check from Viktoriya and Frances:
There is no rule that says you must be successful at every single job. 

Sometimes: 

  • The environment isn’t right 
  • The boss is a terrible fit 
  • Training is inadequate 
  • The role doesn’t match strengths or needs 

In those cases, the question isn’t, “What’s wrong with me?”
It’s, “Is this simply not a good match?” 

Sometimes the best move is: 

  • Try to fix it: ask for better training, clearer instructions, or accommodations 
  • Or accept it’s not the right place and move on 

Both outcomes are valid. Both teach something. 

 

How Parents Can Actually Help (Without Doing Everything Themselves) 

Viktoriya understands parents are buried in responsibilities, and neurodivergent teens are often burnt out from just getting through school. 

She suggests a realistic approach: 

  • Over a full summer, even one week of work experience is better than none. 
  • It doesn’t have to be a full formal job: 
  • Babysitting 
  • Dog walking 
  • Helping at a local business 
  • Volunteering at a shelter or community organization 

Parents can support by: 

  • Helping teens find those opportunities 
  • Talking through what-if scenarios before they start 
  • Providing “off-site” job coaching—talking after shifts about what went well or badly 
  • Helping them reflect after each experience 

And yes, if that feels like too much to manage alone, that’s exactly where professionals like Viktoriya come in. 

 

How Viktoriya Works With Teens and Young Adults 

Viktoriya supports neurodivergent clients in different ways and at different stages: 

For Maryland residents using state VR (DOORS) 

She offers: 

  • Job exploration counseling 
  • Career assessments 
  • A virtual course called Explore Work 

Students can ask their DOORS counselor to work with her specifically. 

For private pay clients (anywhere in the U.S.) 

She works virtually with: 

  • High school students exploring careers 
  • Young adults figuring out next steps 
  • People already in jobs who are struggling and need: 
  • Help with disclosure and accommodations 
  • Coaching on communication and executive functioning at work 
  • Support deciding whether to stay, fix, or leave a job 

She helps with: 

  • Career exploration and assessment 
  • Job search strategy (including cutting through fake/overwhelming postings) 
  • Networking in a way that doesn’t feel fake or overwhelming 
  • Interview prep 
  • Ongoing virtual job coaching once someone is employed 

It’s all individualized, based on the person’s strengths, needs, and reality—not some generic “career advice.” 

 

Final Takeaway for Parents 

If you remember nothing else from this episode, remember this: 

Do not wait until after graduation to think about work. 

Start: 

  • Conversations in middle school 
  • Small, low-stakes work experiences in high school 
  • Reflection after each job or volunteer role 
  • Self-advocacy practice in IEP/504 and real-world settings 

Done slowly and intentionally, this is manageable—and it massively reduces the chaos and panic after high school. 

And if you don’t want to figure it all out alone, people like Viktoriya Selden exist for exactly this reason. 

Visit Viktoriya’s website here!