In this episode of Stress-Free IEP®, Frances Shefter speaks with Gabrielle Czaja, a Physical Therapist who teaches kids to harness their amazing energy to excel in school, feel confident with their friends & most importantly feel they can conquer the world! She leads experiential workshops for parents educators & health professionals about how our body is the primary source of wisdom & success.
Frances Shefter is an Education Attorney and Advocate who is committed to helping her clients have a Stress-Free IEP experience. In each podcast, Frances interviews inspiring people to share information, educate you, empower you and help you get the knowledge you need.
VOICEOVER ( 00:00:00): Welcome to Stress-Free IEP®. You do not need to do it all alone with your host Frances Shefter, Principal of Shefter Law, she streams a show live on Facebook on Tuesdays at noon Eastern, get more details and catch prior episodes at www.ShefterLaw.com. The Stress-Free IEP® video podcast is also posted on YouTube and LinkedIn and you can listen to episodes through Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher and more. Now, here’s the host of Stress-Free IEP® Frances Shefter.
FRANCES ( 00:00:37): Hello, everyone and welcome to the show. Today’s special guest is Gabrielle Czaja and I’m gonna have her introduce herself and tell us a little bit about herself.
GABRIELLE ( 00:00:51): Frances, thanks so much for having me today. I’m really excited to be here and be with everyone who’s watching and listening. So my name is Gabrielle Czaja. And I’d like to just tell you how I came to be really engaged with helping kids. I teach teenagers, young people and also adults how to stay connected with their bodies so that they can focus more effectively so that they can calm themselves when they’re feeling stressed and most importantly, so they can feel good about themselves when they’re out in social situations or with their families. So my journey as an educator and a healer actually started in one of my favorite places, the school library, and I’ve always thought that school libraries are just very special. And so for a career day writing assignment, I found a book in the library called, So You Want To Be A Physical Therapist?. And there was something in this book that I read about the alchemy of scientific inquiry, problem solving and then helping people from the perspective of their own values and individual lifestyles. So after I got out of PT school and I came here to Washington DC, I was working as a PT and I injured myself. And despite excellent medical care, I was still having trouble getting better. I was in pain all the time and I was introduced to a mind-body education paradigm called the Alexander Technique. And I started to have lessons and from the very first lesson, I was just amazed, I felt strong and grounded, but I also felt really calm and at ease. And I wanted this, I wanted more of this for myself. And I also wanted this for my students and my patients.
FRANCES ( 00:02:50): So how is it different? Like how you know, because you hear physical therapy and everybody thinks the same thing. But how is the Alexandra Technique different?
GABRIELLE ( 00:02:58): So the Alexander Technique is an educational model and it’s a mind body educational model. And physical therapy is a health care profession where we assess what’s not working and then we figure out how we’re gonna help that body part or what the movement issue is, not work. There are, there’s a lot of education to being a physical therapist. But the Alexander Technique is a very specific body mind education paradigm that supports focus, that helps quieten the mental chatter. It teaches us how to release physical tension so that we feel supported in our body. So we’re actually activating our postural mechanism. So there’s a lot of overlap, which is why being a physical therapist and an Alexander Technique teacher is a really helpful combination. Um because we support other modalities. But what’s really great is the educational perspective. And the Alexander teacher seeks to help enhance the students connection with their body and tap into their own wisdom, physical therapists do things to people and it’s not that people are passive, they’re exercising, they’re doing things. But the Alexander technique is building us up from the inside, which is very different and very powerful. And that’s how we develop agency.
FRANCES ( 00:04:33): That is wonderful. I, I love that because it’s more, it’s more the mind shift. It’s, it’s getting the money and connecting. Um You know, I don’t, I’m thinking back to when I was in law school, my mom, my mom and I always had a connection and so I would be able, I would call her before every exam and you know, like she would be able to help me calm down and release the energy. So it’s, it is, so do you meet one on one like a therapist or how does it work when you provide services?
GABRIELLE ( 00:05:02): So there are a lot of different ways that Alexander Technique teachers work. We do see students and I want to emphasize that when one is taking Alexander Technique lessons, one is a student, they’re not a patient because it’s a very active participation. So yes, we teach students and individual lessons. We teach group workshops and we can teach group workshops, both and individual lessons both online and in person. And what, what is happening in the UK and what my colleagues and I here in the United States are trying to do is bring Alexander Technique principles into the school curriculum into everyday academics. Because if we think about early development, we learn with our bodies. I mean, early learning is this rich sensory motor feast, right? We’re putting things in our mouth, we’re looking at shiny objects, we stick our feet in our mouth, we’re crawling around our homes. And so we’re learning about ourselves, we’re learning about the world through our senses, through movement. And then something really odd happens. We go to school well, preschool, not so much, but even in kindergarten, we start sitting in a chair. Yep. And all of a sudden this strange dichotomy, it’s a false dichotomy gets set up, that says academics and learning are separate from our bodies and movement. Phys. Ed is often not body education or body mind education. It’s athletics and fitness and not all kids, not all kids want to do sports. Recess is really important because we get to run around and release all that, all that extra energy we have. But what if we could be in touch with our bodies while we’re sitting at our desk, while we’re listening to our teacher, you know, in the same way that, you know, you were able to call your mom before these huge exams in law school. Well, what about when you’re sitting there in your desk, in the classroom or in front of the computer? How do we calm ourselves down? And so the Alexander Principles give us an in the moment way to connect with our body to release the tension and most importantly, to think more clearly,
FRANCES ( 00:07:29): That is so amazing, because I know like on a lot of IEPs, especially with our children that get dysregulated emotionally is that, teach the coping skills and fine, great. You teach a coping skill. But in the reality when, when the child’s dysregulation, if they’re to that point of full dysregulation, the coping skills are not gonna help because their, their brain isn’t there at that point. So I’m assuming with the Alexander Technique it, I guess you teach, you help them find their triggers to help notice them to put the calming strategies before they get dysregulated, is that it?
GABRIELLE ( 00:08:06): We all get dysregulated, they’re gonna get dysregulated. I mean, it’s, it’s the nature of kids that need accommodations. It’s the nature of kids that are excuse me wired differently. You know, if you think about it, there’s this ongoing conversation happening in the background and our frontal cortex is trying to manage that, you know, our blood is pumping, our, our muscles are moving. There’s all kinds of distractions that are happening. If we’re relying too much on mental strategies without connecting our body, then these kids do get overwhelmed and all of these wonderful things that they’re learning from other health professionals and mental health professionals, um they have trouble accessing those. So if we learn to just pause and stop for a moment and find our feet on the floor and in a very specific way, activate our internal support mechanism, we calm down immediately. I mean, we calm down immediately. So we actually learn how to moderate this ongoing sensory motor conversation that’s happening in the background. I mean, we don’t know it’s there but you know what’s amazing is kids know when they get off, I mean, kids know when they’re feeling stressed.
FRANCES ( 00:9:27): 100%. They do. My daughter the other day said she did a mental health day and I was like, hmm, not today. But yeah, because it’s just over overwhelmed and too much. Um and you know, it’s, I know she knows it. And my daughter goes and hides in little small. She likes the little tight places. So when she’s overwhelmed, overstimulated, she goes into little tight places. But I’m assuming this would be a great skill for her also to help tap in and calm herself down. I love that. I’m just thinking through like, like I like, you know, I’m thinking like my body, like, how much do you need to know intellectually? Where do you need to be to understand the techniques?
GABRIELLE ( 00:10:11): So can we think about your daughter and what she did when she needed her mental health day to answer that question? So you said two things: she goes into tight spaces. Yep. So she’s trying to protect herself. She wants comfort. But the thing is mom wants her to go to school, but she needs to go to school. So there’s this tug of war, right? And so if your daughter and what’s your daughter’s name? Chana. So if Chana is, has a moment to just stop. And so ok, ask yourself, am I seeing? And if you, as her mom can look around and say, ok, are you seeing? Am I seeing? Am I breathing? Could I be soft and tall? So right away, we’re connecting with our body and we’re shifting the locus of control internally and we’re helping Chana feel safe because we can’t learn unless we feel safe. Obviously, she has a safe home, her room and the classroom are safe and the school is safe and she lives in a safe neighborhood. But this neurological safety is happening in the deeper parts of our brain that are not part of our regular everyday conscious thinking. But if we use a very simple stop or pause and just engage our senses and seeing and breathing are linked to help calm down our nervous system. I mean, there’s science that proves that when we pay attention to, am I seeing? Just asking the question, am I breathing? And then for younger, younger kids, we might say, you know, at five or six or seven, we might say, can you let your head go up like a floaty balloon? And can you let your shoulders be like soft ice cream? So they’re right away, able to comfort themselves and you can do this all day long. Yeah. So, so we teach these skills to kids that are four and five and at that age we say, oh, well, we’re gonna help you learn how to be the boss of your body.
FRANCES ( 00:12:32): Oh, that’s awesome. I love that.
GABRIELLE ( 00:12:35): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, kids like to move. They want to be connected with their body.
FRANCES ( 00:12:40): Well, and they also want to be the boss of something. So, you know, like I know, you know, I know mob of young kids like kids. The the hardest time parenting is feeding your children and getting them to go to bed because those are the two things that you can’t really force them to do. It’s only things they truly have control of so to teach them that they can be a boss of their body. I’m sure that’s got to do wonders just in that mental space.
GABRIELLE ( 00:13:10): So at breakfast, you could say, ok, everybody’s gonna just pause for a moment and before we dive into our breakfast, am I seeing? Am I breathing? Can I let my head go up like a floaty balloon and let my shoulders be like soft ice cream? And then there’s a quieting that can happen, and then they can kind of hear that they’re hungry or they’re gonna be better able to hear their parents say, ok, you need to eat and then you need to get ready for school. And even if everybody’s running late because mornings can be so frenzied and there’s a lot happening. There’s lots of people, there’s a lot of moving parts to the morning. Um, you know, learning how to just stop, see, breathe, floaty balloons, soft shoulders, you can do that in motion, you can keep going. But if we begin to teach this to kids as simple activities and we often think about teaching this to kids for transitions, sitting down to study, sitting down to eat breakfast, maybe before brushing their teeth. I mean, that’s another one right? Getting, trying to get kids to brush their teeth,
FRANCES ( 00:14:30): right. Although I have a trick for that one. It’s ok. You don’t have to brush your teeth. That just means we can throw away all the candy and all the ice cream and milk is probably not good because they rot your teeth. So, you know, what’s your choice? Right. Yeah. Brush.
GABRIELLE ( 00:14:46): And that works. Right. And then as far as going to bed, if we help them calm themselves and quieten themselves, then again they’re in charge, they’re learning to shift the locus of control to themselves. And then of course, for older kids who are out in the world, they’re being inundated with all kinds of messaging, the academic and social demands are increasing. So some of them might like to think about being the boss of your, their body. But at that point, we’re talking about really negotiating with or navigating their day and figuring out how to make the best choices for themselves, figuring out how to use their energy because most teenagers are exhausted all the time.Their brains, their brains are running really, I’d like to say 25/8 in a 24/7 period. And so how did they focus and, and settle down?
FRANCES ( 00:15:47): And I love that you say transitions because that’s with IEPs and younger children transitions is almost always with every child. The hardest thing, you know, going from a preferred activity to a non preferred or, you know, even from a non preferred to a preferred, it’s just that that change and I can see how bringing calmness to it just sets you up for the next activity nicely.
GABRIELLE ( 00:16:10): It is. And that calmness comes from being connected with our body. I mean, right now, if you and I and everybody that’s watching and listening, if we just notice that our feet are on the floor and then be aware of the space above your head. So that when we ask ourselves to see and to breathe, and we think about our head floating up into that space. And of course, all of this describing it is taking longer than what would actually happen in the moment as you’re going from that transition from the activity that they want to do to the activity that they don’t want to do.
FRANCES ( 00:16:52): Yeah. And you know, I’m thinking, it’s, I’m thinking back to my teaching days also and I remember when I went back for my Master’s in Special Ed and how they were teaching all these techniques that why don’t regular ed teachers do this. And I’m just thinking if in the classroom as a teacher, I mean, even your whole class just sit with the class. OK, we’re going to get ready for the next activity, but you know, just set the stage and then move on. It would be so amazing for everyone.
GABRIELLE ( 00:17:21): That’s right. And, and what we’re doing is we’re teaching kids how to learn. Remember we learn with our bodies from the moment we’re born and we’re constantly taking in information. And the thing is, is when we get to play all day life is very simple because mom and dad are taking care of everything or mom and mom and dad and dad, they’re taking care of everything. And so as we get older though, we do have to take on more responsibility for our learning and we do have to take more responsibility. So how do we figure out how to juggle all of this different stuff happening? And if we learn how to learn with our bodies, then everybody’s sitting in the classroom at the same time, teacher says, are you seeing, are you breathing? Can you be soft and tall? We call this the ready list. You know, I had one 13 year old student that I was working with online and he used the ready list before exams and he said he felt relaxed and ready and then always felt confident that he was gonna do well on the exam.
FRANCES ( 00:18:31): Yeah. It, it does make a difference. It makes a huge difference. Walking into your mindset, walking into an exam. And it was the one thing that was coming up to my mind is I remember it was a long time ago. I think that there was a study done about, um, reading in connection with crawling. Like if you skipped crawling and went straight to walking as a child, you would most likely have difficulties with reading and they did a study that even as an older child, if you go back and crawl for a while it would connect, which was just so interesting because it sounds like it’s the same type of thing. It’s the connecting the body with the learning.
GABRIELLE ( 00:19:12): Yes. And actually you’re talking about really important developmental milestones and a lot of kids that need accommodations that either have IEPs or 504s. They perhaps, either at the beginning when they were born or later on as they grow, some of those developmental milestones may have been delayed, they might have happened too soon, they might have not happened at all. And these developmental milestones, again, sensory learning, motor learning, social, psychological, those are all linked. Crawling is a very important really basic developmental activity to do. And so actually what a lot of physical therapists and occupational therapists do and and I work with this also, is help these reflexes. These are postural dynamic reflexes like the grasp crawling, pulling ourselves up to begin to stand and walk. All of those are related to learning. So the grasp reflex is also about fine motor control. It’s also related to hand-eye and hand-mouth coordination. So what we can do is we can help integrate those reflexes and I do this even with adults, not only kids. Um but what’s really exciting is when you combine the two, I have a 19 year old student whose name is Noah and he came in to see me for coordination issues and a lot of sensitivity to touch. And um some people might know this as tactile touch sensitivity or hypersensitivity. And when, when a child doesn’t feel safe in their own skin again, it’s hard for them to calm down and learn. So as we were doing some of these tactile activities to help integrate these really important reflexes, he was really going into a startle so much. So we taught him the ready list. And then what happened is because he’s 19, he’s got a good brain. It’s just this, this other sensory motor stuff is, is just kind of one of his vulnerabilities. And so he would learn to stop and see and breathe and can I be soft and tall? And then we, and then he would say ready list, ready and then I could do the intervention and the activity. And over time he’s learning to do this when he feels anxious in situations out in the world, and anxious at school.
FRANCES ( 00:21:52): That’s right. Transmissions hallways. Uh You know, any group events.
GABRIELLE ( 00:21:58): Yes. Yes. I have a number of students who talk about how overwhelmed they feel in the hallway. So where in that busy hallway can they stop? You can think this as you’re moving through that crowd of people. It might be when you walk into the classroom or it might be when you sit down, maybe walking through the hallways is really jangling to their nerves. So, ok, they sit down, class is not yet started, ready list. Or maybe when they’re in the stairwell or maybe, you know, even tell kids, you know what, when you go into the bathroom in the middle of the day, you can use your ready list. I mean, let’s use some. We attach this to just everyday activities.
FRANCES ( 00:22:42): So it’s not, it’s not waiting till the dysregulation. It’s keeping, it’s just keeping you in touch.
GABRIELLE ( 00:22:48): So that if we’re practicing it as we’re going through our day, then when we really need it and when we’re really feeling stressed, then we can call upon it and it’s more easy to call upon it.
FRANCES ( 00:23:01): Because it’s natural. It’s habit. You probably don’t even realize you’re calling up upon it at some point. You know, it just, you naturally do it. That’s awesome.
GABRIELLE ( 00:23:08): That’s right. And, and habits can really interfere with ourselves. I mean, how many kids have we seen?
FRANCES ( 00:23:15): I’m the worst. I know it.
GABRIELLE ( 00:23:17): We all do. So what’s happening here is I’m cutting off my breathing. There’s a lot of tension in my shoulders. And so then what do we do? Well, we ask kids to sit up straight or they think, oh, I need to sit up straight and then they sort of do this holding thing. Well, you can tell that now my voice is getting a little crackly because now there’s a lot of tension in my voice. But if I stop doing that and I feel my feet on the floor and I can let my head float up and I can let my shoulder soften. Now, I’m breathing better and when we’re breathing better, we’re automatically moving into a place of self regulation. And when kids feel a sense of agency and self efficacy, I mean, it’s the gift of a lifetime then, then they can settle down, then they’re in charge.
FRANCES ( 00:24:15): Right. Because so many adults can’t even do it. And if you learn this at such a young age, I can imagine, like, I can imagine what these kids that learn it, what they’re gonna be like as adults, if they already have that self regulation, um, ability.
GABRIELLE ( 00:24:29): Right. Right. And that’s why it would be great if teachers have even these basic skills because then they can manage the classroom. I mean, if kids, whether they’re sitting in a circle in kindergarten or first grade or whether everybody’s getting ready for a test, you know, the first couple of days of spring are gonna be coming along and these warm days kids are gonna be wanting to run around and be outside. Right. But they’ve got to be indoors or that transition in September when nobody wants to be in. Right. Again, these life transitions, school transitions. So if a teacher can come into the classroom and say, ok, everybody or in the middle of a class or in the middle of a story, ok, we’re gonna pause and just use the ready list, seeing and breathing and soft and tall.
FRANCES ( 00:25:21): Yeah, it’s like I’m thinking about it because you don’t even have to single out our children that dysregulate more often and that have the IEP, you’re doing it for a whole class. And I am just thinking through on how helpful that is because one of the issues I have often with my children with um accommodations is they don’t want anybody to know. And so how can the teacher, you know, tell them and remind them to get on tasks without anybody else knowing? And so if the teacher does something like this with the whole class, it’s taking care of the IEP goal without signaling the child out and it’s beneficial to all.
GABRIELLE ( 00:26:00): That’s right. That’s right. And that’s, that sense of belonging is so important. And that’s another example of how these Alexander principles through something like the ready list can help a child feel good about themselves and have compassion for themselves. You know, everybody has different versions of success and kids that have IEPs, their version of success might be different from kids that don’t have IEPs.. And so how do we help kids be the best that they can be?
FRANCES ( 00:26:34): Right? And not, yeah, and not make them feel different. I mean, that’s the thing like I, it’s the longer I’ve been doing this and the more I see like we say, IEPs, it’s, you know, they need the support and kids start thinking that they’re broken that they’re not the same as everybody else because they need these supports. And it’s so hard because once you get that mentality to get you out of it is so challenging. Um I’m assuming there’s more techniques, obviously, you’re not teaching us all the techniques but that there’s more techniques. But this is like the base where you start.
GABRIELLE ( 00:27:08): This is a really good place to start and we call it the ready list and the ready list isn’t straight Alexander Technique principles, but it’s based upon the principles of the Alexander Technique, which really are about postural support and easy breathing. And of course, if we’re supported in our muscles and our bones and we’re breathing well, then we can concentrate well, then we can feel well. I mean, we all know what it feels like to feel stressed. Some of us it’s muscle tension, kids will get butterflies in their stomach or they’ll get headaches. And so when we start with these more general principles, then either in a workshop setting or in a school setting where you’re learning skills over the course of time or you’re having an individual session, then you really can take a deeper dive. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Frances, you work with IEP meetings and parents also, right?
FRANCES ( 00:28:10): Yes.
GABRIELLE ( 00:28:12): So this is a way also that parents can use this skill to navigate the whole realm of how do I get an IEP for my kids? What do I do when I’m sitting in a meeting and Frances is there and she’s right with me and I know she’s got my back, but I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything that’s coming at me from the team. Right? So a parent, a parent can use these skills too.
FRANCES ( 00:28:42): Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. So, I, you know, the name of the show is Stress-Free IEPTM and the reason I came up for it is I always say like if you’ve been to an IEP meeting, stress free and IEP don’t match. But that’s the whole point. That’s why I say to come to me like because I’m there, I’m gonna take the stress for you, not necessarily take the shot, but you know what I’m going to take it off your shoulders. You can be the parent, but you can mentally know that and if your body’s not connected, you’re just gonna still, I can see that of just right. But bring it down.
GABRIELLE ( 00:29:11): So they know before and they know after Frances has my back in the moment when that fight or flight response starts to get triggered, they can stop and use the principles of the ready list. And then they remember Frances is there and they remember your support and what they’re doing is they’re slowing down the process because you know that they’re the most important people in the room, with all of the teachers and counselors and, and you. And so they then become more in charge of their bodies. Then they can not only take in the information but then they can ask the questions that are most important to them.
FRANCES ( 00:29:57): Yeah, and not get as emotional which I tell the parents get emotional um because it’s hard sitting there hearing about, you know, your children and what’s going on and stuff. But I can see that when you get in that emotional phase, you know, all of us get stressed out and we’re not thinking clearly and then we leave the meeting and like, oh my God, why didn’t I do this or do that or the other? And with using this technique, it brings you here and focused to be able to ask everything you want to ask and get all the questions answered and um put in your input because I, yeah, I say that all the time, the parent, the most important person is the child who’s not always in the room, but that’s what the focus should be. But the person that knows the most about the child is the parent. I don’t care. They, everybody else might have more education. But the parent is the one that knows the most about the child, that needs to give the most input.
GABRIELLE ( 00:30:49): That’s right. And if a parent is able to come from a place of internal support. I mean, really being grounded in their body, grounded in their chair, aware of their muscles and their bones. But in a way where they’re releasing tension, then they feel good about their participation in the meeting and they’re not moving into that place of self doubt and that’s very empowering. And then when parents feel empowered, they’re meta communicating that to their kids. Right? Because if kids come home from school and they’re dysregulated, well, if a parent can just kind of stop and calm and quiet in themselves, their kids are gonna quiet down.
FRANCES ( 00:31:34): Yeah, it’s so, I, I think I just thinking back and like how parents will yell at kids to quiet them down. It’s like you’re not modeling, like, you know what I mean? Like you’re telling, you’re telling kids to do what you say, not what you do. But then, you know, kids, it’s got to confuse them, I’m sure because kids want to be their parents.
GABRIELLE ( 00:31:55): Well, and it’s, it’s inevitable. It’s so normal to get frustrated as a parent. And, you know, parents don’t necessarily have all the support that they need. I mean, let’s, I mean, that’s like a whole another conversation, right? But for, for a parent to feel supported in their moment, they might blow their top. But then they know if they’ve been practicing some of these principles, they can practice these principles at a stoplight, washing their hands, sitting at the breakfast table, making a meal then when everything starts to fall apart, kids go into meltdown. I mean, we adults have little meltdowns. Right. We can stop at any moment of the day. We can just pause, we can stop.
FRANCES ( 00:32:40): Yeah. And I’m just thinking, yeah, I was just thinking through, like, even when you, like, I know when I’ve, you know, blown my top before and I lose it. I, I stop myself sometimes. Like, what am I doing? Like, this isn’t helpful. And I using that technique now, like, usually I’ll just calm myself down but it’s basic, it’s that technique.
GABRIELLE ( 00:33:01): And, and when we say, what am I doing? It’s a little, it’s a little bit unkind. You know, I, I had a student who said that when they used the ready list, they felt like it was a kindness. They, they used the word friendly, how nice I loved that. And if we’re being friendly with ourselves, it’s ok if we blow our top, it’s ok because why, I mean, I often like to say, how could you not under these circumstances? Exactly. And so this happens, life happens, things go up, things go down, things go to the side, we fall apart at any moment, we can gather ourselves back together. Yeah. And so we might be saying to ourselves, am I seeing, am I breathing a gazillion times a day? But it’s helpful.
FRANCES ( 00:33:56): Yeah, I can see where it is because it, it just grounds you it’s, it’s kind of almost like, um I know we used to say to go walk barefoot in the grass to ground you a little, right?
GABRIELLE ( 00:34:07): I love that, that sense. I love walking with my feet in wet grass. It’s cold at the same time calming again because we’re tapping into that whole body experience of learning and, and when we have our feet and that grass, grass, we’re, we’re reminding ourselves of our body. And when we do that, we feel safe and we need to feel safe in order to learn and in order to be who we are out in the world. You know, I had a little girl, sometimes kids come to me for physical injuries and I had a little girl who had some hand eye coordination issues. She had trouble handling a knife, she had trouble turning a key in the lock. She didn’t like to tie her shoes. And it was very interesting because she’s super smart. She has the energy of like four puppies. And whenever we started to do some sort of activity for her fine motor control, she would ask questions. She was very good at wanting to distract and avoid, right? Kids do this. They have all these very ingenious ways of distracting when they don’t want to do something. They don’t, they don’t wanna do right. And so I started to teach her the ready list and at first she did not like it. She, she did not like it, but one day she came in and she said, you know, I don’t like using the ready list, but I can tell it helps me. And that was a breakthrough because it was gentle repetition, gentle repetition. And over time she was able to get used to it. And I think it’s because we’re not hitting kids over the head. Right. You know, we’re saying to themselves you can do this, you can see you can breathe, you can do this. Right. And that’s what we want. We want to build our kids up and help them feel confident in themselves.
FRANCES ( 00:36:9): Yeah, it’s again teaching them to do something, not, not looking for it external. Like people will say, go listen to calming music, you know, things like that, but that’s something external. This is something you don’t need anything else. You yourself can do it.
GABRIELLE ( 00:36:23): And how do you, and how do you go listen to call me music when you’re in the middle of the playground? Exactly. Or you, you know, maybe you’ve got some accommodations for a test and even though you have those accommodations and you might be in a different room and they’re, you know, you might have a different set up, you can still get nervous, and still you know, and so in that moment we’re just, we’re just kind of on our own and we know our teachers there and they’re pulling for us and we know whatever we do on this exam. Mom and dad are gonna be ok. But ultimately we want to feel good about ourselves.
FRANCES ( 00:36:59): Yeah, and that we can do it for ourselves. That’s the other thing that’s so important. We don’t need to do it for anybody else but ourselves.
GABRIELLE ( 00:37:08): I like that idea that you said that when kids need to feel that they’re part of the group, you know, I mean, we say kids are special and we say that they’re exceptional and they are and every single child is. But the fact of the matter is some kids need accommodations, some kids have IEPs. And so how do we help them feel like they’re one of a crowd. I really appreciate how you were pointing that out, Frances.
FRANCES ( 00:37:36): Yeah. No, it’s, it’s important, especially as the Children get older and they start seeing differences and I, I usually try to get my IEPs and 504 plans written to, to not single them out. Like even when we put in a dedicated aide or a one on one, put it in the way that they’re not supposed to sit directly next to the person, just kind of be in the outside of the room available if needed or to pull the child into other students when they can tell they need extra support. So it’s not making them different. Um although different is good, you know, I used to say that all the time, we’re all unique in our own ways. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Some just need a little extra support.
GABRIELLE ( 00:38:18): And how do we celebrate those differences? Exactly. And you know, having that person in the room, the child knows kinesthetically that they’re there. Right. So they’re still using their body to sense the connection with that person that’s there in the room. So they don’t have to have them sitting right next to them. They can be in the, in the local environments. And again, that child is still connecting through that kinesthetic awareness of their body sense that their person is there. Right?
FRANCES ( 00:38:54): Yeah, that’s so awesome. I could talk to you all day. I think this is so fascinating. And so like, I love this. There’s so much information and, and this technique is I’m so glad we met so that I could learn about it because again, you know, my way too many years, I’m not gonna go into that in the education world as a teacher and as a um as an attorney, I haven’t heard of this before. And I think it’s so important that parents hear about this, that it’s out there and available, not only for their children but for them because I believe you said you all ages, right?
GABRIELLE ( 00:39:26): Yes. And you know, this is um it, it’s just a very simple and accessible way of helping ourselves feel good. You know, it supports academic focus and it also helps engender that really important sense of agency. And that’s important for parents. I mean, if a parent is feeling stressed out about their IEP meeting, then they’ve got to go back to work or they’ve got to go home and navigate all this stuff on the computer and associate. I mean, there’s all this stuff and so how do we navigate the craziness and the busyness of the world? So, yeah, parents can use this too because they have transitions that they’ve got to make work, parent, classroom, kids their own self-care,
FRANCES ( 00:40:12): right? Yeah, that’s awesome. And so I know you’re gonna be a keynote speaker, I believe coming up soon.
GABRIELLE ( 00:40:20): PG County Public Schools, their special education department is having their first Autism Summit day on April 15th and there’s a morning and afternoon of terrific workshops. And so what’s exciting about that is any, everyone is welcome to attend. You don’t have to be from PG County, but that’s gonna be more of a mini workshop presentation. So that’s gonna be experiential where we can really learn about the mechanisms of stress and how stress is in the body and then how we can use our body to counter the impact of stress. And then for 12 years, I believe PG County has been running um a larger conference and it’s now virtual and that’s going for six weeks. And I will be doing also an experiential workshop on May 18th with them. And that’s another wonderful, um, my gosh, there must be 20 presentations over the course of six weeks in the evenings after school for parents to attend about all things educational.
FRANCES ( 00:41:19): And I, I’m assuming there’s a link to register or something of that sort. Yes, it just show up.
GABRIELLE ( 00:41:25): There is. Um, no, I can, I can send you the link and we can, we can put that in the chat.
FRANCES ( 00:41:29): I was gonna say we’ll put it in the show notes. Um If you send us the link, make sure it’s out. So if you’re listening, look for the link and join because it’s, I’m gonna go see if oh I’m in a wedding that day, April 15th. My cousin’s getting married.
FRANCES ( 00:41:48): It’s ok to miss that one. Yeah, but uh it sounds wonderful. I mean, because you know it at any age, we never stop learning and growing. It’s so important, right? So, and then how can people get in touch with you if they want to, you know, talk to you or engage your services? What’s the best way for them to reach out to you?
GABRIELLE ( 00:42:06): You can pick up the phone and give me a call, you can send me an email. Um We can put this in the show notes because my last name is, has a couple of extra consonants. Uh Gabriel Czaja C Z A J A. So I am Gabrielle at GabrielleCzaja.com. And um, and I’m happy to talk with parents and, and field any questions that they have. And um, yeah, we can take it from there.
FRANCES ( 00:42:35): Awesome. Thank you so much. This was so educational. I hope all of my listeners enjoyed watching and listening and have a great day.
GABRIELLE ( 00:42:44): Thanks so much, Frances. It’s just been a delight.
VOICEOVER ( 00:42:48): You’ve been listening to Stress-Free IEP®. With your host Frances Shefter. Remember you do not need to do it all alone. You can reach Frances through ShefterLaw.com where prior episodes are also posted. Thank you for your positive reviews, comments and sharing the show with others through YouTube, LinkedIn, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and more.
Stress-Free IEP® with Frances Shefter and Gabrielle Czaja
In this episode of Stress-Free IEP®, Frances Shefter speaks with Gabrielle Czaja, a Physical Therapist who teaches kids to harness their amazing energy to excel in school, feel confident with their friends & most importantly feel they can conquer the world! She leads experiential workshops for parents educators & health professionals about how our body is the primary source of wisdom & success.
Stress-Free IEP®:
Frances Shefter is an Education Attorney and Advocate who is committed to helping her clients have a Stress-Free IEP experience. In each podcast, Frances interviews inspiring people to share information, educate you, empower you and help you get the knowledge you need.
Watch more episodes of Stress-Free IEP® on YouTube.
Connect and learn more from your host, Frances Shefter:
Read the full transcript:
VOICEOVER ( 00:00:00): Welcome to Stress-Free IEP®. You do not need to do it all alone with your host Frances Shefter, Principal of Shefter Law, she streams a show live on Facebook on Tuesdays at noon Eastern, get more details and catch prior episodes at www.ShefterLaw.com. The Stress-Free IEP® video podcast is also posted on YouTube and LinkedIn and you can listen to episodes through Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher and more. Now, here’s the host of Stress-Free IEP® Frances Shefter.
FRANCES ( 00:00:37): Hello, everyone and welcome to the show. Today’s special guest is Gabrielle Czaja and I’m gonna have her introduce herself and tell us a little bit about herself.
GABRIELLE ( 00:00:51): Frances, thanks so much for having me today. I’m really excited to be here and be with everyone who’s watching and listening. So my name is Gabrielle Czaja. And I’d like to just tell you how I came to be really engaged with helping kids. I teach teenagers, young people and also adults how to stay connected with their bodies so that they can focus more effectively so that they can calm themselves when they’re feeling stressed and most importantly, so they can feel good about themselves when they’re out in social situations or with their families. So my journey as an educator and a healer actually started in one of my favorite places, the school library, and I’ve always thought that school libraries are just very special. And so for a career day writing assignment, I found a book in the library called, So You Want To Be A Physical Therapist?. And there was something in this book that I read about the alchemy of scientific inquiry, problem solving and then helping people from the perspective of their own values and individual lifestyles. So after I got out of PT school and I came here to Washington DC, I was working as a PT and I injured myself. And despite excellent medical care, I was still having trouble getting better. I was in pain all the time and I was introduced to a mind-body education paradigm called the Alexander Technique. And I started to have lessons and from the very first lesson, I was just amazed, I felt strong and grounded, but I also felt really calm and at ease. And I wanted this, I wanted more of this for myself. And I also wanted this for my students and my patients.
FRANCES ( 00:02:50): So how is it different? Like how you know, because you hear physical therapy and everybody thinks the same thing. But how is the Alexandra Technique different?
GABRIELLE ( 00:02:58): So the Alexander Technique is an educational model and it’s a mind body educational model. And physical therapy is a health care profession where we assess what’s not working and then we figure out how we’re gonna help that body part or what the movement issue is, not work. There are, there’s a lot of education to being a physical therapist. But the Alexander Technique is a very specific body mind education paradigm that supports focus, that helps quieten the mental chatter. It teaches us how to release physical tension so that we feel supported in our body. So we’re actually activating our postural mechanism. So there’s a lot of overlap, which is why being a physical therapist and an Alexander Technique teacher is a really helpful combination. Um because we support other modalities. But what’s really great is the educational perspective. And the Alexander teacher seeks to help enhance the students connection with their body and tap into their own wisdom, physical therapists do things to people and it’s not that people are passive, they’re exercising, they’re doing things. But the Alexander technique is building us up from the inside, which is very different and very powerful. And that’s how we develop agency.
FRANCES ( 00:04:33): That is wonderful. I, I love that because it’s more, it’s more the mind shift. It’s, it’s getting the money and connecting. Um You know, I don’t, I’m thinking back to when I was in law school, my mom, my mom and I always had a connection and so I would be able, I would call her before every exam and you know, like she would be able to help me calm down and release the energy. So it’s, it is, so do you meet one on one like a therapist or how does it work when you provide services?
GABRIELLE ( 00:05:02): So there are a lot of different ways that Alexander Technique teachers work. We do see students and I want to emphasize that when one is taking Alexander Technique lessons, one is a student, they’re not a patient because it’s a very active participation. So yes, we teach students and individual lessons. We teach group workshops and we can teach group workshops, both and individual lessons both online and in person. And what, what is happening in the UK and what my colleagues and I here in the United States are trying to do is bring Alexander Technique principles into the school curriculum into everyday academics. Because if we think about early development, we learn with our bodies. I mean, early learning is this rich sensory motor feast, right? We’re putting things in our mouth, we’re looking at shiny objects, we stick our feet in our mouth, we’re crawling around our homes. And so we’re learning about ourselves, we’re learning about the world through our senses, through movement. And then something really odd happens. We go to school well, preschool, not so much, but even in kindergarten, we start sitting in a chair. Yep. And all of a sudden this strange dichotomy, it’s a false dichotomy gets set up, that says academics and learning are separate from our bodies and movement. Phys. Ed is often not body education or body mind education. It’s athletics and fitness and not all kids, not all kids want to do sports. Recess is really important because we get to run around and release all that, all that extra energy we have. But what if we could be in touch with our bodies while we’re sitting at our desk, while we’re listening to our teacher, you know, in the same way that, you know, you were able to call your mom before these huge exams in law school. Well, what about when you’re sitting there in your desk, in the classroom or in front of the computer? How do we calm ourselves down? And so the Alexander Principles give us an in the moment way to connect with our body to release the tension and most importantly, to think more clearly,
FRANCES ( 00:07:29): That is so amazing, because I know like on a lot of IEPs, especially with our children that get dysregulated emotionally is that, teach the coping skills and fine, great. You teach a coping skill. But in the reality when, when the child’s dysregulation, if they’re to that point of full dysregulation, the coping skills are not gonna help because their, their brain isn’t there at that point. So I’m assuming with the Alexander Technique it, I guess you teach, you help them find their triggers to help notice them to put the calming strategies before they get dysregulated, is that it?
GABRIELLE ( 00:08:06): We all get dysregulated, they’re gonna get dysregulated. I mean, it’s, it’s the nature of kids that need accommodations. It’s the nature of kids that are excuse me wired differently. You know, if you think about it, there’s this ongoing conversation happening in the background and our frontal cortex is trying to manage that, you know, our blood is pumping, our, our muscles are moving. There’s all kinds of distractions that are happening. If we’re relying too much on mental strategies without connecting our body, then these kids do get overwhelmed and all of these wonderful things that they’re learning from other health professionals and mental health professionals, um they have trouble accessing those. So if we learn to just pause and stop for a moment and find our feet on the floor and in a very specific way, activate our internal support mechanism, we calm down immediately. I mean, we calm down immediately. So we actually learn how to moderate this ongoing sensory motor conversation that’s happening in the background. I mean, we don’t know it’s there but you know what’s amazing is kids know when they get off, I mean, kids know when they’re feeling stressed.
FRANCES ( 00:9:27): 100%. They do. My daughter the other day said she did a mental health day and I was like, hmm, not today. But yeah, because it’s just over overwhelmed and too much. Um and you know, it’s, I know she knows it. And my daughter goes and hides in little small. She likes the little tight places. So when she’s overwhelmed, overstimulated, she goes into little tight places. But I’m assuming this would be a great skill for her also to help tap in and calm herself down. I love that. I’m just thinking through like, like I like, you know, I’m thinking like my body, like, how much do you need to know intellectually? Where do you need to be to understand the techniques?
GABRIELLE ( 00:10:11): So can we think about your daughter and what she did when she needed her mental health day to answer that question? So you said two things: she goes into tight spaces. Yep. So she’s trying to protect herself. She wants comfort. But the thing is mom wants her to go to school, but she needs to go to school. So there’s this tug of war, right? And so if your daughter and what’s your daughter’s name? Chana. So if Chana is, has a moment to just stop. And so ok, ask yourself, am I seeing? And if you, as her mom can look around and say, ok, are you seeing? Am I seeing? Am I breathing? Could I be soft and tall? So right away, we’re connecting with our body and we’re shifting the locus of control internally and we’re helping Chana feel safe because we can’t learn unless we feel safe. Obviously, she has a safe home, her room and the classroom are safe and the school is safe and she lives in a safe neighborhood. But this neurological safety is happening in the deeper parts of our brain that are not part of our regular everyday conscious thinking. But if we use a very simple stop or pause and just engage our senses and seeing and breathing are linked to help calm down our nervous system. I mean, there’s science that proves that when we pay attention to, am I seeing? Just asking the question, am I breathing? And then for younger, younger kids, we might say, you know, at five or six or seven, we might say, can you let your head go up like a floaty balloon? And can you let your shoulders be like soft ice cream? So they’re right away, able to comfort themselves and you can do this all day long. Yeah. So, so we teach these skills to kids that are four and five and at that age we say, oh, well, we’re gonna help you learn how to be the boss of your body.
FRANCES ( 00:12:32): Oh, that’s awesome. I love that.
GABRIELLE ( 00:12:35): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, kids like to move. They want to be connected with their body.
FRANCES ( 00:12:40): Well, and they also want to be the boss of something. So, you know, like I know, you know, I know mob of young kids like kids. The the hardest time parenting is feeding your children and getting them to go to bed because those are the two things that you can’t really force them to do. It’s only things they truly have control of so to teach them that they can be a boss of their body. I’m sure that’s got to do wonders just in that mental space.
GABRIELLE ( 00:13:10): So at breakfast, you could say, ok, everybody’s gonna just pause for a moment and before we dive into our breakfast, am I seeing? Am I breathing? Can I let my head go up like a floaty balloon and let my shoulders be like soft ice cream? And then there’s a quieting that can happen, and then they can kind of hear that they’re hungry or they’re gonna be better able to hear their parents say, ok, you need to eat and then you need to get ready for school. And even if everybody’s running late because mornings can be so frenzied and there’s a lot happening. There’s lots of people, there’s a lot of moving parts to the morning. Um, you know, learning how to just stop, see, breathe, floaty balloons, soft shoulders, you can do that in motion, you can keep going. But if we begin to teach this to kids as simple activities and we often think about teaching this to kids for transitions, sitting down to study, sitting down to eat breakfast, maybe before brushing their teeth. I mean, that’s another one right? Getting, trying to get kids to brush their teeth,
FRANCES ( 00:14:30): right. Although I have a trick for that one. It’s ok. You don’t have to brush your teeth. That just means we can throw away all the candy and all the ice cream and milk is probably not good because they rot your teeth. So, you know, what’s your choice? Right. Yeah. Brush.
GABRIELLE ( 00:14:46): And that works. Right. And then as far as going to bed, if we help them calm themselves and quieten themselves, then again they’re in charge, they’re learning to shift the locus of control to themselves. And then of course, for older kids who are out in the world, they’re being inundated with all kinds of messaging, the academic and social demands are increasing. So some of them might like to think about being the boss of your, their body. But at that point, we’re talking about really negotiating with or navigating their day and figuring out how to make the best choices for themselves, figuring out how to use their energy because most teenagers are exhausted all the time.Their brains, their brains are running really, I’d like to say 25/8 in a 24/7 period. And so how did they focus and, and settle down?
FRANCES ( 00:15:47): And I love that you say transitions because that’s with IEPs and younger children transitions is almost always with every child. The hardest thing, you know, going from a preferred activity to a non preferred or, you know, even from a non preferred to a preferred, it’s just that that change and I can see how bringing calmness to it just sets you up for the next activity nicely.
GABRIELLE ( 00:16:10): It is. And that calmness comes from being connected with our body. I mean, right now, if you and I and everybody that’s watching and listening, if we just notice that our feet are on the floor and then be aware of the space above your head. So that when we ask ourselves to see and to breathe, and we think about our head floating up into that space. And of course, all of this describing it is taking longer than what would actually happen in the moment as you’re going from that transition from the activity that they want to do to the activity that they don’t want to do.
FRANCES ( 00:16:52): Yeah. And you know, I’m thinking, it’s, I’m thinking back to my teaching days also and I remember when I went back for my Master’s in Special Ed and how they were teaching all these techniques that why don’t regular ed teachers do this. And I’m just thinking if in the classroom as a teacher, I mean, even your whole class just sit with the class. OK, we’re going to get ready for the next activity, but you know, just set the stage and then move on. It would be so amazing for everyone.
GABRIELLE ( 00:17:21): That’s right. And, and what we’re doing is we’re teaching kids how to learn. Remember we learn with our bodies from the moment we’re born and we’re constantly taking in information. And the thing is, is when we get to play all day life is very simple because mom and dad are taking care of everything or mom and mom and dad and dad, they’re taking care of everything. And so as we get older though, we do have to take on more responsibility for our learning and we do have to take more responsibility. So how do we figure out how to juggle all of this different stuff happening? And if we learn how to learn with our bodies, then everybody’s sitting in the classroom at the same time, teacher says, are you seeing, are you breathing? Can you be soft and tall? We call this the ready list. You know, I had one 13 year old student that I was working with online and he used the ready list before exams and he said he felt relaxed and ready and then always felt confident that he was gonna do well on the exam.
FRANCES ( 00:18:31): Yeah. It, it does make a difference. It makes a huge difference. Walking into your mindset, walking into an exam. And it was the one thing that was coming up to my mind is I remember it was a long time ago. I think that there was a study done about, um, reading in connection with crawling. Like if you skipped crawling and went straight to walking as a child, you would most likely have difficulties with reading and they did a study that even as an older child, if you go back and crawl for a while it would connect, which was just so interesting because it sounds like it’s the same type of thing. It’s the connecting the body with the learning.
GABRIELLE ( 00:19:12): Yes. And actually you’re talking about really important developmental milestones and a lot of kids that need accommodations that either have IEPs or 504s. They perhaps, either at the beginning when they were born or later on as they grow, some of those developmental milestones may have been delayed, they might have happened too soon, they might have not happened at all. And these developmental milestones, again, sensory learning, motor learning, social, psychological, those are all linked. Crawling is a very important really basic developmental activity to do. And so actually what a lot of physical therapists and occupational therapists do and and I work with this also, is help these reflexes. These are postural dynamic reflexes like the grasp crawling, pulling ourselves up to begin to stand and walk. All of those are related to learning. So the grasp reflex is also about fine motor control. It’s also related to hand-eye and hand-mouth coordination. So what we can do is we can help integrate those reflexes and I do this even with adults, not only kids. Um but what’s really exciting is when you combine the two, I have a 19 year old student whose name is Noah and he came in to see me for coordination issues and a lot of sensitivity to touch. And um some people might know this as tactile touch sensitivity or hypersensitivity. And when, when a child doesn’t feel safe in their own skin again, it’s hard for them to calm down and learn. So as we were doing some of these tactile activities to help integrate these really important reflexes, he was really going into a startle so much. So we taught him the ready list. And then what happened is because he’s 19, he’s got a good brain. It’s just this, this other sensory motor stuff is, is just kind of one of his vulnerabilities. And so he would learn to stop and see and breathe and can I be soft and tall? And then we, and then he would say ready list, ready and then I could do the intervention and the activity. And over time he’s learning to do this when he feels anxious in situations out in the world, and anxious at school.
FRANCES ( 00:21:52): That’s right. Transmissions hallways. Uh You know, any group events.
GABRIELLE ( 00:21:58): Yes. Yes. I have a number of students who talk about how overwhelmed they feel in the hallway. So where in that busy hallway can they stop? You can think this as you’re moving through that crowd of people. It might be when you walk into the classroom or it might be when you sit down, maybe walking through the hallways is really jangling to their nerves. So, ok, they sit down, class is not yet started, ready list. Or maybe when they’re in the stairwell or maybe, you know, even tell kids, you know what, when you go into the bathroom in the middle of the day, you can use your ready list. I mean, let’s use some. We attach this to just everyday activities.
FRANCES ( 00:22:42): So it’s not, it’s not waiting till the dysregulation. It’s keeping, it’s just keeping you in touch.
GABRIELLE ( 00:22:48): So that if we’re practicing it as we’re going through our day, then when we really need it and when we’re really feeling stressed, then we can call upon it and it’s more easy to call upon it.
FRANCES ( 00:23:01): Because it’s natural. It’s habit. You probably don’t even realize you’re calling up upon it at some point. You know, it just, you naturally do it. That’s awesome.
GABRIELLE ( 00:23:08): That’s right. And, and habits can really interfere with ourselves. I mean, how many kids have we seen?
FRANCES ( 00:23:15): I’m the worst. I know it.
GABRIELLE ( 00:23:17): We all do. So what’s happening here is I’m cutting off my breathing. There’s a lot of tension in my shoulders. And so then what do we do? Well, we ask kids to sit up straight or they think, oh, I need to sit up straight and then they sort of do this holding thing. Well, you can tell that now my voice is getting a little crackly because now there’s a lot of tension in my voice. But if I stop doing that and I feel my feet on the floor and I can let my head float up and I can let my shoulder soften. Now, I’m breathing better and when we’re breathing better, we’re automatically moving into a place of self regulation. And when kids feel a sense of agency and self efficacy, I mean, it’s the gift of a lifetime then, then they can settle down, then they’re in charge.
FRANCES ( 00:24:15): Right. Because so many adults can’t even do it. And if you learn this at such a young age, I can imagine, like, I can imagine what these kids that learn it, what they’re gonna be like as adults, if they already have that self regulation, um, ability.
GABRIELLE ( 00:24:29): Right. Right. And that’s why it would be great if teachers have even these basic skills because then they can manage the classroom. I mean, if kids, whether they’re sitting in a circle in kindergarten or first grade or whether everybody’s getting ready for a test, you know, the first couple of days of spring are gonna be coming along and these warm days kids are gonna be wanting to run around and be outside. Right. But they’ve got to be indoors or that transition in September when nobody wants to be in. Right. Again, these life transitions, school transitions. So if a teacher can come into the classroom and say, ok, everybody or in the middle of a class or in the middle of a story, ok, we’re gonna pause and just use the ready list, seeing and breathing and soft and tall.
FRANCES ( 00:25:21): Yeah, it’s like I’m thinking about it because you don’t even have to single out our children that dysregulate more often and that have the IEP, you’re doing it for a whole class. And I am just thinking through on how helpful that is because one of the issues I have often with my children with um accommodations is they don’t want anybody to know. And so how can the teacher, you know, tell them and remind them to get on tasks without anybody else knowing? And so if the teacher does something like this with the whole class, it’s taking care of the IEP goal without signaling the child out and it’s beneficial to all.
GABRIELLE ( 00:26:00): That’s right. That’s right. And that’s, that sense of belonging is so important. And that’s another example of how these Alexander principles through something like the ready list can help a child feel good about themselves and have compassion for themselves. You know, everybody has different versions of success and kids that have IEPs, their version of success might be different from kids that don’t have IEPs.. And so how do we help kids be the best that they can be?
FRANCES ( 00:26:34): Right? And not, yeah, and not make them feel different. I mean, that’s the thing like I, it’s the longer I’ve been doing this and the more I see like we say, IEPs, it’s, you know, they need the support and kids start thinking that they’re broken that they’re not the same as everybody else because they need these supports. And it’s so hard because once you get that mentality to get you out of it is so challenging. Um I’m assuming there’s more techniques, obviously, you’re not teaching us all the techniques but that there’s more techniques. But this is like the base where you start.
GABRIELLE ( 00:27:08): This is a really good place to start and we call it the ready list and the ready list isn’t straight Alexander Technique principles, but it’s based upon the principles of the Alexander Technique, which really are about postural support and easy breathing. And of course, if we’re supported in our muscles and our bones and we’re breathing well, then we can concentrate well, then we can feel well. I mean, we all know what it feels like to feel stressed. Some of us it’s muscle tension, kids will get butterflies in their stomach or they’ll get headaches. And so when we start with these more general principles, then either in a workshop setting or in a school setting where you’re learning skills over the course of time or you’re having an individual session, then you really can take a deeper dive. Yeah. Yeah. Now, Frances, you work with IEP meetings and parents also, right?
FRANCES ( 00:28:10): Yes.
GABRIELLE ( 00:28:12): So this is a way also that parents can use this skill to navigate the whole realm of how do I get an IEP for my kids? What do I do when I’m sitting in a meeting and Frances is there and she’s right with me and I know she’s got my back, but I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything that’s coming at me from the team. Right? So a parent, a parent can use these skills too.
FRANCES ( 00:28:42): Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. So, I, you know, the name of the show is Stress-Free IEPTM and the reason I came up for it is I always say like if you’ve been to an IEP meeting, stress free and IEP don’t match. But that’s the whole point. That’s why I say to come to me like because I’m there, I’m gonna take the stress for you, not necessarily take the shot, but you know what I’m going to take it off your shoulders. You can be the parent, but you can mentally know that and if your body’s not connected, you’re just gonna still, I can see that of just right. But bring it down.
GABRIELLE ( 00:29:11): So they know before and they know after Frances has my back in the moment when that fight or flight response starts to get triggered, they can stop and use the principles of the ready list. And then they remember Frances is there and they remember your support and what they’re doing is they’re slowing down the process because you know that they’re the most important people in the room, with all of the teachers and counselors and, and you. And so they then become more in charge of their bodies. Then they can not only take in the information but then they can ask the questions that are most important to them.
FRANCES ( 00:29:57): Yeah, and not get as emotional which I tell the parents get emotional um because it’s hard sitting there hearing about, you know, your children and what’s going on and stuff. But I can see that when you get in that emotional phase, you know, all of us get stressed out and we’re not thinking clearly and then we leave the meeting and like, oh my God, why didn’t I do this or do that or the other? And with using this technique, it brings you here and focused to be able to ask everything you want to ask and get all the questions answered and um put in your input because I, yeah, I say that all the time, the parent, the most important person is the child who’s not always in the room, but that’s what the focus should be. But the person that knows the most about the child is the parent. I don’t care. They, everybody else might have more education. But the parent is the one that knows the most about the child, that needs to give the most input.
GABRIELLE ( 00:30:49): That’s right. And if a parent is able to come from a place of internal support. I mean, really being grounded in their body, grounded in their chair, aware of their muscles and their bones. But in a way where they’re releasing tension, then they feel good about their participation in the meeting and they’re not moving into that place of self doubt and that’s very empowering. And then when parents feel empowered, they’re meta communicating that to their kids. Right? Because if kids come home from school and they’re dysregulated, well, if a parent can just kind of stop and calm and quiet in themselves, their kids are gonna quiet down.
FRANCES ( 00:31:34): Yeah, it’s so, I, I think I just thinking back and like how parents will yell at kids to quiet them down. It’s like you’re not modeling, like, you know what I mean? Like you’re telling, you’re telling kids to do what you say, not what you do. But then, you know, kids, it’s got to confuse them, I’m sure because kids want to be their parents.
GABRIELLE ( 00:31:55): Well, and it’s, it’s inevitable. It’s so normal to get frustrated as a parent. And, you know, parents don’t necessarily have all the support that they need. I mean, let’s, I mean, that’s like a whole another conversation, right? But for, for a parent to feel supported in their moment, they might blow their top. But then they know if they’ve been practicing some of these principles, they can practice these principles at a stoplight, washing their hands, sitting at the breakfast table, making a meal then when everything starts to fall apart, kids go into meltdown. I mean, we adults have little meltdowns. Right. We can stop at any moment of the day. We can just pause, we can stop.
FRANCES ( 00:32:40): Yeah. And I’m just thinking, yeah, I was just thinking through, like, even when you, like, I know when I’ve, you know, blown my top before and I lose it. I, I stop myself sometimes. Like, what am I doing? Like, this isn’t helpful. And I using that technique now, like, usually I’ll just calm myself down but it’s basic, it’s that technique.
GABRIELLE ( 00:33:01): And, and when we say, what am I doing? It’s a little, it’s a little bit unkind. You know, I, I had a student who said that when they used the ready list, they felt like it was a kindness. They, they used the word friendly, how nice I loved that. And if we’re being friendly with ourselves, it’s ok if we blow our top, it’s ok because why, I mean, I often like to say, how could you not under these circumstances? Exactly. And so this happens, life happens, things go up, things go down, things go to the side, we fall apart at any moment, we can gather ourselves back together. Yeah. And so we might be saying to ourselves, am I seeing, am I breathing a gazillion times a day? But it’s helpful.
FRANCES ( 00:33:56): Yeah, I can see where it is because it, it just grounds you it’s, it’s kind of almost like, um I know we used to say to go walk barefoot in the grass to ground you a little, right?
GABRIELLE ( 00:34:07): I love that, that sense. I love walking with my feet in wet grass. It’s cold at the same time calming again because we’re tapping into that whole body experience of learning and, and when we have our feet and that grass, grass, we’re, we’re reminding ourselves of our body. And when we do that, we feel safe and we need to feel safe in order to learn and in order to be who we are out in the world. You know, I had a little girl, sometimes kids come to me for physical injuries and I had a little girl who had some hand eye coordination issues. She had trouble handling a knife, she had trouble turning a key in the lock. She didn’t like to tie her shoes. And it was very interesting because she’s super smart. She has the energy of like four puppies. And whenever we started to do some sort of activity for her fine motor control, she would ask questions. She was very good at wanting to distract and avoid, right? Kids do this. They have all these very ingenious ways of distracting when they don’t want to do something. They don’t, they don’t wanna do right. And so I started to teach her the ready list and at first she did not like it. She, she did not like it, but one day she came in and she said, you know, I don’t like using the ready list, but I can tell it helps me. And that was a breakthrough because it was gentle repetition, gentle repetition. And over time she was able to get used to it. And I think it’s because we’re not hitting kids over the head. Right. You know, we’re saying to themselves you can do this, you can see you can breathe, you can do this. Right. And that’s what we want. We want to build our kids up and help them feel confident in themselves.
FRANCES ( 00:36:9): Yeah, it’s again teaching them to do something, not, not looking for it external. Like people will say, go listen to calming music, you know, things like that, but that’s something external. This is something you don’t need anything else. You yourself can do it.
GABRIELLE ( 00:36:23): And how do you, and how do you go listen to call me music when you’re in the middle of the playground? Exactly. Or you, you know, maybe you’ve got some accommodations for a test and even though you have those accommodations and you might be in a different room and they’re, you know, you might have a different set up, you can still get nervous, and still you know, and so in that moment we’re just, we’re just kind of on our own and we know our teachers there and they’re pulling for us and we know whatever we do on this exam. Mom and dad are gonna be ok. But ultimately we want to feel good about ourselves.
FRANCES ( 00:36:59): Yeah, and that we can do it for ourselves. That’s the other thing that’s so important. We don’t need to do it for anybody else but ourselves.
GABRIELLE ( 00:37:08): I like that idea that you said that when kids need to feel that they’re part of the group, you know, I mean, we say kids are special and we say that they’re exceptional and they are and every single child is. But the fact of the matter is some kids need accommodations, some kids have IEPs. And so how do we help them feel like they’re one of a crowd. I really appreciate how you were pointing that out, Frances.
FRANCES ( 00:37:36): Yeah. No, it’s, it’s important, especially as the Children get older and they start seeing differences and I, I usually try to get my IEPs and 504 plans written to, to not single them out. Like even when we put in a dedicated aide or a one on one, put it in the way that they’re not supposed to sit directly next to the person, just kind of be in the outside of the room available if needed or to pull the child into other students when they can tell they need extra support. So it’s not making them different. Um although different is good, you know, I used to say that all the time, we’re all unique in our own ways. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Some just need a little extra support.
GABRIELLE ( 00:38:18): And how do we celebrate those differences? Exactly. And you know, having that person in the room, the child knows kinesthetically that they’re there. Right. So they’re still using their body to sense the connection with that person that’s there in the room. So they don’t have to have them sitting right next to them. They can be in the, in the local environments. And again, that child is still connecting through that kinesthetic awareness of their body sense that their person is there. Right?
FRANCES ( 00:38:54): Yeah, that’s so awesome. I could talk to you all day. I think this is so fascinating. And so like, I love this. There’s so much information and, and this technique is I’m so glad we met so that I could learn about it because again, you know, my way too many years, I’m not gonna go into that in the education world as a teacher and as a um as an attorney, I haven’t heard of this before. And I think it’s so important that parents hear about this, that it’s out there and available, not only for their children but for them because I believe you said you all ages, right?
GABRIELLE ( 00:39:26): Yes. And you know, this is um it, it’s just a very simple and accessible way of helping ourselves feel good. You know, it supports academic focus and it also helps engender that really important sense of agency. And that’s important for parents. I mean, if a parent is feeling stressed out about their IEP meeting, then they’ve got to go back to work or they’ve got to go home and navigate all this stuff on the computer and associate. I mean, there’s all this stuff and so how do we navigate the craziness and the busyness of the world? So, yeah, parents can use this too because they have transitions that they’ve got to make work, parent, classroom, kids their own self-care,
FRANCES ( 00:40:12): right? Yeah, that’s awesome. And so I know you’re gonna be a keynote speaker, I believe coming up soon.
GABRIELLE ( 00:40:20): PG County Public Schools, their special education department is having their first Autism Summit day on April 15th and there’s a morning and afternoon of terrific workshops. And so what’s exciting about that is any, everyone is welcome to attend. You don’t have to be from PG County, but that’s gonna be more of a mini workshop presentation. So that’s gonna be experiential where we can really learn about the mechanisms of stress and how stress is in the body and then how we can use our body to counter the impact of stress. And then for 12 years, I believe PG County has been running um a larger conference and it’s now virtual and that’s going for six weeks. And I will be doing also an experiential workshop on May 18th with them. And that’s another wonderful, um, my gosh, there must be 20 presentations over the course of six weeks in the evenings after school for parents to attend about all things educational.
FRANCES ( 00:41:19): And I, I’m assuming there’s a link to register or something of that sort. Yes, it just show up.
GABRIELLE ( 00:41:25): There is. Um, no, I can, I can send you the link and we can, we can put that in the chat.
FRANCES ( 00:41:29): I was gonna say we’ll put it in the show notes. Um If you send us the link, make sure it’s out. So if you’re listening, look for the link and join because it’s, I’m gonna go see if oh I’m in a wedding that day, April 15th. My cousin’s getting married.
GABRIELLE ( 00:41:44): That’s a wonderful joyful event. Oh, wonderful Frances.
FRANCES ( 00:41:48): It’s ok to miss that one. Yeah, but uh it sounds wonderful. I mean, because you know it at any age, we never stop learning and growing. It’s so important, right? So, and then how can people get in touch with you if they want to, you know, talk to you or engage your services? What’s the best way for them to reach out to you?
GABRIELLE ( 00:42:06): You can pick up the phone and give me a call, you can send me an email. Um We can put this in the show notes because my last name is, has a couple of extra consonants. Uh Gabriel Czaja C Z A J A. So I am Gabrielle at GabrielleCzaja.com. And um, and I’m happy to talk with parents and, and field any questions that they have. And um, yeah, we can take it from there.
FRANCES ( 00:42:35): Awesome. Thank you so much. This was so educational. I hope all of my listeners enjoyed watching and listening and have a great day.
GABRIELLE ( 00:42:44): Thanks so much, Frances. It’s just been a delight.
VOICEOVER ( 00:42:48): You’ve been listening to Stress-Free IEP®. With your host Frances Shefter. Remember you do not need to do it all alone. You can reach Frances through ShefterLaw.com where prior episodes are also posted. Thank you for your positive reviews, comments and sharing the show with others through YouTube, LinkedIn, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and more.
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