In this episode of Stress-Free IEPTM, Frances Shefter speaks with Meghan Lucas. Meghan is the founder of Dear Strong Woman LLC and a Life & Leadership Coach at Meghan Lucas Coaching.
Frances Shefter is an Education Attorney and Advocate who is committed to helping her clients have a Stress-Free IEP experience. In each podcast, Frances interviews inspiring people to share information, educate you, empower you and help you get the knowledge you need.
VOICEOVER ( 00:00:00): Welcome to Stress-Free IEPTM. You do not need to do it all alone with your host Frances Shefter, Principal of Shefter Law, she streams a show live on Facebook on Tuesdays at noon Eastern, get more details and catch prior episodes at www.ShefterLaw.com. The Stress-Free IEPTM video podcast is also posted on YouTube and LinkedIn and you can listen to episodes through Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher and more. Now, here’s the host of Stress-Free IEPTM Frances Shefter.
FRANCES (00:00:46): Hello listeners and welcome to the show today. I’m going off a little bit from the usual IEP talks and special education services and talking about the you do not need to do it all alone as we know as parents. It is so difficult, especially as parents with Children with special needs and support is so important for us personally and for our Children. So today’s guest Meghan Lucas who is the creator of Dear Strong Women and is a life coach and an author and she’s gonna help talk to us about how it is so important to not do it all alone. Meghan Welcome to the show and please introduce yourself.
MEGHAN (00:01:33): Yes, thank you so much for having me. As Frances mentioned, my name is Meghan Lucas, I’m a life coach. I’m an author. I tend to do scary things, I know a thing or two about doing it alone and have learned and I’m still learning how to not do that and why that’s important and I’m sure we’ll dive into that today,
FRANCES (00:01:51): definitely. And I wanted to touch base a little bit on your history to go like kind of where you started and how you got to where you are today.
MEGHAN (00:01:59): Yeah. Okay. Um, so I got into coaching through being a teacher. My background is actually in education. I taught music, believe it or not. Um, I worked in an inner city charter school for eight years, five of those years, teaching music and then another three into, I went into administration, got super burned out from in hindsight doing it all alone and uh, ventured off into another career path of coaching. So, which is great because it, it reminds me of how I showed up with my kids as a teacher, you know, just holding the mirror reflecting choices what’s next. Um, but yeah, that’s, that’s my, my background, both in education and the burn outside of it,
FRANCES (00:02:44): which is so important because teachers and parents get burnt out. Teachers can change careers. Parents, we have a little bit harder time if we burn out and need to get that support. Um, so, and like I know what a lot of parents, a lot of times I get potential clients calling me or people that I talk with and they talk about how they just, they don’t have it anymore. They can’t fight anymore. They’re just, they’re just tired of going up against the system and they’re just like, you know what it is, what it is? It’s the best I can get and give up.
FRANCES (00:03:16): I know that’s a big phrase for you. It is what it is. How do you get out of being that?
MEGHAN (00:03:23): Yeah, I mean it is what it is. Like I have to really check my feet whenever. That’s something I want to throw around. I definitely like my radar goes off when I hear other people say it. But when I find myself saying I’m like, hold on, check yourself. Um, yeah, it is what it is for me is almost like a scapegoat of All right, well I guess I can’t do anything about it when if we really check in and, and and stay in the game. Like we probably could do something about it, but maybe not by ourselves. Maybe maybe this is where we need to bring somebody into just brainstorm or dump so we can clear out the all the junk we’re carrying in our heads and the exhaustion and the hurt and the, this is so hard. Um, Yeah, but really for me anytime for me, when I, when I feel tempted to say that and just throw my hands up, it is what it is. That’s, that’s an invitation for me to, to really check in and like, okay, I need support here
FRANCES (00:04:20): and so how can you help support parents that are having that issue and are just done and just saying it is what it is. I don’t have it in me anymore. How can you help them find that drive again?
MEGHAN (00:04:32): Yeah, what I find for parents is that and for a lot of us we are so used to dumping into our people, whether it’s work, whether it’s our kids, whether it’s our friends that just to have the space to spend to talk about ourselves and what’s going on is huge. I call it dumping our purse. So I invite my clients to come, you know, hop on the phone with me and dump their purse. Let’s see what’s in there. Because sometimes we get so caught up in just doing and the list of tasks and what everybody needs that we’re not really aware of what we’re carrying, what we need. So just having the space to dump and reflect is huge and a lot of times the thing that feels impossible or heavy or overwhelming, like I just can’t do it anymore. It’s because we’re carrying a whole purse full of rocks like, you know, things that we haven’t unloaded. So being able to do that often gets my clients back in action back in power. Suddenly they’ve said something that they’re like, well that sounds silly but in their heads it sounded really like heavy and significant and uh like a like a big block or a hurdle. So it’s just, it keeps the conversation going, it’s like staying in motion. Um like when you’re grieving, like sometimes you just gotta keep moving and yeah, and then what the next step to take kind of presents itself and you really just need the next step, you don’t need the whole plan laid out,
FRANCES (00:05:59): right? No, definitely, I also get that um you know, my background a little bit and it’s just kind of like, this isn’t working for me anymore, what’s the next step? And that’s, you know, for me from teaching and I went to law school and it kinda, I didn’t plan on going to law school when I started by taking the LSAT, but it just presented itself and now I’m here and I love what I do, helping and educating families. Um So I want to talk a little bit about like, the difference between coaching and therapy, because I know there’s so many people out there now coaching and it’s like, well I don’t want to go to a therapist, but that’s not what coaching is, is it
MEGHAN (00:06:38): correct, correct. Thank you for this question. Here’s, the great thing about the coaching industry is that anybody can be a coach. It’s also the not so great thing is that anybody can be a coach, it’s not a regulated profession yet. So something to be mindful of when you see someone say their coaches just attached their linkedin profile or the business card, however, that that being said, the coaching, like the profession of coaching could really work hand in hand with therapy and when I first hired a coach, I was working with the therapist at the same time. So just give you a little idea of how they um the lanes in which both operate. So therapy is much more of a past based conversation. We’re looking at things that have happened in service of perhaps or some healing to take place before we can move forward. Okay. So I listened with my clients, they keep coming up against something that they just can’t quite let go of or work through, there’s likely something more um needed there. Now with coaching, we’ll look at the past two but not from a sense of healing more. So just to identify some patterns were much more factual um you know, we’re just gathering the data and we do that in service of breaking up those patterns so that we can start where we’re at and move forward. So it’s a much more forward facing conversation. We don’t dwell a lot in the past. Um because it’s, you know, that’s part of like the baggage that we’re carrying and not putting down to really propel us forward. So really works in great parallel with the therapist. Like you can do some healing work while you’re planning your future, right? So um yeah, there’s some nuances around the language that are a little different, like therapists will probably be more okay, so how does that make you feel? And I’m more like, okay, now, what, what’s next, what’s the choice here despite the feelings, we can all do things despite how we’re feeling? I think that’s how laundry gets done.
FRANCES (00:08:46): Exactly. Or like what I like to say is you can be afraid but do it anyway.
MEGHAN (00:08:51): Yes. Yes. It’s so important. I think so many people think if they’re afraid that they’re not ready, you know, or they have to be fearless before, like it’s the confidence, they want to feel confident before they take action, but a lot of times that confidence comes from taking action. So
FRANCES (00:9:9): I’ve heard somebody said that um if you’re not afraid, then you’re probably not trying hard enough. You know, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough.
MEGHAN (00:9:18): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I call it there’s like this fine line where it’s the terrible excitement. I’m like anxious and excited. Like I wanna like, yes, let’s do this and hide in the corner at the same time. It’s both
FRANCES (00:9:31): right. You know, I heard that once before about anxiety and like, you know, you get the sweaty and the sweaty palms and the heart palpitation and to start thinking of it not as anxiety but as excitement because your body has the same reaction, but your brain reacts so differently.
MEGHAN (00:9:51): Yes. Yes.
FRANCES (00:9:53): So um So like, how do you handle stress? Like, I know you’re a new mom, you know, you have your book out, you’re promoting your business coaching. What do you do? How do you handle stress?
MEGHAN (00:10:05): I’ll share a little bit how I used to handle it and how I handle it now in case that speaks to people. I mean I used to just put my nose down and get to work, like in my mind, getting emotional or mad or whatever about what was going on was just gonna waste time and who had time to waste, like there’s stuff to do. So um and that worked for me until it didn’t until part of like what I was carrying with me was a lot of unprocessed emotion. Um and not even that sometimes when you put your, put your head down and just work, you’re not aware that you’re tired, even if you’re doing something you love, you get tired. So you know, important, important to check in now what I do is um I mean talk about coming back to the conversation around support when I’m about to do something or I can tell I’m about to do something that’s just gonna require a lot of whether it’s courage, energy, um creativity. I intentionally tap into my community. I’ve got a few friends I call and just say, hey, I just need you to be a mirror for me and reflect me why I’m awesome, why I’ve got this. You know, sometimes I’ll just dump all the fears in my head, which sound really, really dramatic and then I hear them, but also, you know, it’s just, it’s just a space to get it out because carrying that stuff around is tiring. So I equate it to um riding a roller coaster. I don’t know if anybody’s listening or watching as a fan of roller coasters, but when I feel, I guess we’ll say my fear is kind of trying to talk me out of something, don’t do this. This is gonna be hard. Like why are you wasting your time? Like all that voice. It feels like I’m being dragged to a roller coaster to ride it. You know, like I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. So you can imagine that experience and you know, kind of being forced in the car and strapped in and just holding on waiting until it’s over. When I feel that coming up, I have to flip it in my head to imagine All right, we’re riding this rollercoaster and I’m in the front seat and that’s when I call a friend and I just imagine I’m on this roller coaster with him and our hands in there and I’m screaming, which is just me dumping like freedom and what’s great is that five minutes? I’m I’m done and I’m I’m grounded and reset as opposed to just trying to avoid getting on that roller coaster. Like it’s such, it takes up so much energy and mental space that if I just allow myself to be a brat for five minutes. I’m actually pretty good.
FRANCES (00:12:43): It’s funny that you said, you know, you say that because I remember before marriage and Children and all that and I would like just get in one of those moods of just not wanting to do anything or being sad or depressed and I would be like okay, you know what you got today, You got saturday, stay in bed, eat the ice cream, be depressed, do whatever you need to do, but tomorrow morning sunday you’re getting up and doing it. Yeah. And it’s just so important because sometimes you just need that day.
MEGHAN (00:13:10): Yeah. And when you allow yourself to do it, you’re actually like, it’s still from a position of power and personal leadership because you’re choosing it on purpose rather than you avoid it, you avoid it, you avoid it and then suddenly like it’s you know, take it, it’s more powerful than you, you’re having a meltdown while you’re picking out mustard in the grocery store. Like it’s like, you know, if you choose it on purpose then you’re still the one in charge, right?
FRANCES (00:13:34): Yeah. And some people are like, oh I had a lazy day today, you didn’t, you have a relaxing day today, that’s okay. And especially as you know, as parents, we so need that even if it’s a couple of hours just the mean time to touch these.
MEGHAN (00:13:50): Yeah, sure.
FRANCES (00:13:53): And you said, so you said that you have a coach and so how did that come about that you wound up hiring a coach before or after you became a coach?
MEGHAN (00:14:02): before, totally before I had, and this might be true for a number of people. Like I definitely had a preconceived notion about life coaching and um, what is this and how I ended up working with a coach as a friend of mine was training to become a coach and a life coach and she reached out to me to see if I wanted to do a sample session with her. And my understanding of coaching at the time was that they were going to tell me how to live my life and she was the kind of friend that I didn’t want her telling me live my life and my skills with boundaries and saying no at the time were not great. So of course I said, well, I think we’re too close of friends. That might be weird. Do you have someone else in your cohort whose training? Let me hop on the phone with a stranger and tell them about why my life sucks, you know, give my mom a break. And so this was in my, what ended up being my final year of teaching. It was actually close to this time probably december of that year and um, I hopped on the phone with this unsuspecting stranger and dumped my resentment filled purse. Um, complaints like all the reasons why I was burned out and why I had to be because nobody knew how to do their job. Like just really great conversation and she was so validating and heard me and then she asked me, she goes, okay, I hear you. So what do you want? Like this? She didn’t hear me, I can’t want anything. Didn’t you just hear everything I just said and she wouldn’t let me off the phone without answering that question and it was the first time in years of me inventing like to my teacher friends where I actually felt better afterwards cause I had a plan, I had something I had an action to take and I got connected to something outside of what I was currently experiencing. So I ended up working with her for a year and the things that we accomplished in that year alone, including getting out of teaching, I paid off debt, which I didn’t know how I did when I was paying her money. Um just lots of little wins in a short amount of time. I came to her a year later and said how do I do what you do? So that’s when I started training to become a coach
FRANCES (00:16:19): awesome because it’s empowering and I love that it’s like you say we did it all, but in reality you did it all and she just helped guide you.
MEGHAN (00:16:29): She was just a mirror. Yeah, she just reflected what I said a lot of times helped, you know, held the mirror, asked me some questions to really get me clear on where I was choosing from? Like if I was choosing from a place of fear and just wanting to stay safe or I was actually allowing myself to dream a big dream and do it the way I wanted to, you know, there’s there’s achieving the goal and then the experience of going for it that are both important, the journey and the destination. Thanks Pinterest. Um you know, it all matters. So she really helped me find my own answers for those questions.
FRANCES (00:17:05): It’s interesting you say that because I have a business coach that just does law firms and you know, she says all the time, it’s that fear that’s trying to keep you from doing something that keeps you small, you know, and doesn’t get you what you truly want because it’s just your inner child is going to protect yourself and it’s like you can do this, you can do this, you’re okay.
MEGHAN (00:17:28): Yeah,
FRANCES (00:17:29): and then you said about about going back and um I just lost my train of thought thinking about just when you’re scared and you’re afraid and dumping everything and just complaining and kind of like, okay, so you’re complaining about it and I know for me like when my friends, husband or Children complain about something, well what are you gonna do about it? You know, it’s like, what do you mean? Don’t complain to me,
MEGHAN (00:18:01): Well the great thing about complaints if if you can hear it while you’re on the receiving end of it or if you can hear it while you’re dumping them, is that inside complaints? There’s actually a request in there. There’s something that’s needed and usually it comes out as a complaint with a little edge on it because we’ve gone too long without asking for what we need. So, you know, talk about not doing it alone if if you’ve not if you’ve not gotten support, if you’ve done it alone for a while, likely, you know, there’s some complaints that have built up, there’s some resentment that’s built up. There’s I shouldn’t have to ask for help, They should know what to do. You know, all the should beware when that starts coming out. It’s you’ve already waited too long to ask for what you need.
FRANCES (00:18:45): My grandma used to say she, you know that, you know, it’s just it’s people aren’t mind readers, but I know like I know for me growing up it was you know, kind of were expected to do it, you know what I mean? Like asking for help was a sign of weakness.
MEGHAN (00:19:05): Yeah, I think thank goodness. I think that’s a narrative that’s starting to change. I think we’re right in like the gooey middle transition of it. I don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but yeah, if asking for how I had I had to really unpack that um yeah, where I thought asking for help meant that I was weak because I couldn’t do it alone and what I found when I opened up and said, I’m not okay, I don’t have it all together. If you think about it doing that, it’s actually a really brave thing that requires strength. Like it’s actually the opposite of weakness to admit, hey, I don’t have all the answers to admit I need more time. Like you’re admitting that you’re a human being and not a machine. And I think as a society and you know, just over the years we’ve, we’ve trained ourselves that are, we’re only as good as our output and what we do. So, you know, I love that this narrative is starting to change. It’s like the mental health space is growing. Like there’s so many, there’s such an impact from operating that way. It’s possible. You can have a successful life, you can, you can reach the goals, but what’s your experience in doing so and once you get there, are you excited? Are you celebrating? Are you tired? Are you not even present to what you’ve accomplished? Cause you’re already looking at the next thing on the list because that’s the, that’s what you’re used to? So yeah.
FRANCES (00:20:28): And it’s um, you know, remembering a lot of clients I’ve had or people that I’ve talked to and moms with kids with disabilities talk so often about how um they’re just afraid and there’s just too much and they can’t do it all and they’re so stressed walking into an IEP Meeting and they get emotional and so I always tell them like, hey look, I do this for a living and I help all of you do this. But when it comes to my own child and walking into her IEP Meeting, I get emotional, I get stressed because it’s normal for a parent, it’s okay. You know, this is we’re talking about your child here and and it’s a lot of emotions going through with my child’s not perfect, the child, my child is not going to have that future that I envisioned. And it’s kind of I’m assuming you can help people find like, okay, but let’s look at it this way of what your child can accomplish,
MEGHAN (00:21:26): right? Right. And a lot of times when when those fears are running amok, you know, we’re just making stuff up that’s gonna support that fear. So not that we shouldn’t be afraid and not that we’re not gonna worry right? Like that’s just a normal part of being a human, being a parent, caring for for someone. Um but yeah, if we can recognize that those aren’t facts, then it can get us back into power.
FRANCES (00:21:58): Yeah. So important. And then I want to talk about because I know a lot of people like, oh coaching and you said yourself, it’s not a regulated business. So can you go into your training a little bit because I want to show like why you are, what somebody’s looking for. You know, a coach that has this training.
MEGHAN (00:22:14): Yeah, for sure. I’m sorry, I’ve got a little bit of a cough, try not to cough, not a machine, not perfect. Um Yes, in my training I was trained by an organization called accomplishment coaching. Um They are a accredited coaching coach training program, meaning there’s an overarching um an overarching regulating body called the International Coaching Federation, So if you’re going to hire a coach check in, see if your coach was trained one and two kind of where that train falls on the spectrum. Um So yeah, so when, when the business does become regulated, I’m good. Um Yeah, it was an extensive training. It was um it was a year of um of training. There were um we had full weekends of just different modules that we dove into. I was with a cohort, talked about not doing it alone, don’t train to become a coach alone. Um And so and through that I had a coach, so me supporting clients, I can only support them as far as me doing the work myself. So I had a coach throughout all of that. Yes, they were training weekends, but we were also training throughout the entire month learning different tools to support clients with distinctions, like ways to help them see different things, doing our own work, reading list, tons of things and then um after a year of doing so performance evaluation, we had people come in who were um, you know, we got to coach them in the moment and we were evaluated and you know, we’ve got professional coaches listening in to make sure there’s certain things that are happening to make sure that we’re letting the client drive the conversation and we’re just reflecting questions to kind of, you know, keep them on on a path, not force them, you know, not not guide it, but just okay, what about here? Okay, now we’re going this way asking questions, you know, but it’s all of their creation. Um, yeah, and then for about a year and a half after that, I actually stayed on with the organization and helped to train more coaches coming in. So tons of learning tons of learning. It kept my skills sharp. It made, it’s always made me a better coach for my clients. Um yeah, so it’s uh, and I’m still learning, I still say surrounded by that same cohort. Um, one in particular member that cohort, I talked with her once a week, you know, we graduated over two years ago. So yeah, it’s important to keep again, back to the support uh topic, just keeping people around you and not doing it alone. It’s huge.
FRANCES (00:25:03): Right? I love that you say that you went back in teaching because that was like something we used to say all the time if you understand something great, but to truly understand something is to be able to teach it to somebody else.
MEGHAN (00:25:14): For sure. Such a different level, I can’t tell you how often, you know, from that lens to when I’m on the phone with my clients and there there’s something they’re going through, they’ll say something or even like even my question to them, suddenly it’ll hit me like that’s the thing I’m working on for myself. So it’s, it’s such a like a cyclical, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s almost like a reverse accountability because them working on the thing that I have to work on it too. I can’t hide under the covers, which I want to sometimes. So,
FRANCES (00:25:46): and then I want to talk about your book because I know I heard once that everybody has a book in them. Um and I’m like, yeah, I don’t know about that, but we’ll see. So tell me about your book.
MEGHAN (00:26:00): Sure. So my book came from, you know, I guess we’ll tie this back into the asking for help as a sign of weakness. So years ago, my um while I was in the middle of doing everything myself and I’m just building a giant chip on my shoulder. Um my grandmother ended up passing away from breast cancer and I wasn’t prepared for how that was going to blow me apart. Um, but when it happened, I realized I couldn’t just keep operating the same way I was operating. I actually, I mean, I think it was my, my humanity, like my broken heart was reminding me that I’m not a machine. And so as a way to process both my grief and then what I was learning because I’m starting to question what I was doing in my life and how I was doing it. Um I went to writing, I was always like, I loved writing when I was a kid. It was something I threw off the list when I started working because who has time to do things for themselves? You know, like the whole, you see where the resentment came from, right? So yeah, I started writing as a way to process and um, in honor of her, I started a blog called Dear Strong Woman, which is where the whole, you know, idea comes from. So I was sometimes writing to her sometimes writing to myself in third person, sometimes writing to a friend who maybe has gone through something and it was a way for me to share out loud what I was going through. And often like, that was where I dumped my purse in a way. And um with that, um, that’s where I started to really build a community of people saying, hey, me too, thank you for saying that. Like, huge, huge uh like support that just came from me showing up messy. Um, so the book is an extension of that. It’s like years of me of all of my writing. I mean, I just took it all like from the blog and some other things I hadn’t published and just dumped it. All right, what’s the, what’s the common thread here? What can I, what can I pull out of here? And it was great that in that doing so what I thought the book was gonna be and what it ended up being ended up totally different just because of the process. Um, but what the book supports people with is, I mean I share my personal story and really it is transforming my life through the lens of, hey, this isn’t working. This isn’t working. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to go into. I just knew it wasn’t what I was doing. And so I walk people through steps to get into action including one checking in on what are the defaults you believe about the world and about yourself. I call them default rules. Like whether it’s like, you know, personal things around, um, you know, um, you’re, as we mentioned, your value is only as good as your output. Um, there’s things around body image that we might believe, like the skinny you are the pretty you are the more idealized you are or um, you know, don’t bring up politics. Like, like so many different different rules that we operate under. And so I help people, I ask them the questions to check in and look at, you know, what, what are your beliefs and where are they stopping you And then from there I give them the choice. Like, hey, if what you currently believe is working for you, I’m not telling you that it’s wrong. Okay. There’s a lot of that going out in the world, beliefs are wrong. You choose it, you choose it. But I want you to recognize your choosing it. It’s not maybe the way it is. Um, and if you want to choose something different and explore writing your own rules, putting down what society has told you, what your parents have told you, what your teachers have told you actually creating this on your own terms. Here’s some steps to do. So here’s where to tap in like building the muscles, listening to your intuition. Maybe we haven’t done that in a very long time. Here’s what you do whenever there’s all these voices coming up in your head telling you, you’re greedy for wanting something more out of life. Here’s how you find support. Here’s how you, you know, embrace the mess that’s about to come your way. So I share a lot of personal experience with how I’ve done that in hopes that it, it uh, supports people and yeah, it’s a great, it’s a great resource for people I think at any stage of their life where they’re feeling like a transition is coming, whether it’s happening to them or they need to create it. Um, yeah. And I hope it’s, it’s beneficial for people and get them into action, It’s actually living the life they want to, because life is short and that’s something my grandmother’s passing really. Um, opened my eyes to like, I can’t keep doing this. I don’t have a lot of time here,
FRANCES (00:30:55): Right? And it’s what first came up with me, um, for me is when parents are first told that their child might have a disability and that your child is not perfect. And I remember it’s changed a little bit, but way back. It’s like, oh, your child has down syndrome or autism. They’re never going to go to college. They’re never gonna do this. They’re never gonna do that. And so parents got that defeated feeling from the doctors. But that’s not true. You know, like if you as a parent, you want your child to do something, you know, find a way out there. There are so many people that can help you get your child to be the best your child can be and happy.
MEGHAN (00:31:41): Yeah. Even if you have all the evidence that no child has done that before, right? Even if that’s what you’re, you’re pairing like, well, like how could it be possible? I don’t know, Let’s find out versus like going with what’s predictable based on what’s gone on for other people or history or you know, what have you, if you believe, there’s a chance, go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?
FRANCES (00:32:08): Right? I love that. What’s the worst that can happen. Like if you sit there and do nothing, then nothing’s going to happen. If you try, you at least have a 50/50 chance of changing.
MEGHAN (00:32:16): Yeah.
FRANCES (00:32:17): So important. So your book, the name of your book is You Make the Rules.
MEGHAN (00:32:22): Yeah. You Make the Rules: how to rewrite the rules you live by. So you can live life on your terms.
FRANCES (00:32:28): Awesome. And where can people get your book?
MEGHAN (00:32:30): People can get it on amazon. Just type in you make the rules, Megan Lucas, it’ll pop up. You can also get it off my website. Um, Dear Strong woman dot com slash you make the rules and it takes you to amazon. So one way, one way or the other
FRANCES (00:32:44): and your website, if people want to get get in touch with you.
MEGHAN (00:32:47): Sure. Yeah. DearStrongwoman.com is the website you can go, there’s a coaching page. There’s a speaking page. I mean, yeah, all everything you need. Is there
FRANCES (00:32:57): awesome. And then also we’re gonna have your information in the show notes. If you’re watching this, if people are watching on facebook or linkedin or Youtube or listening on Spotify or apple podcasts, I don’t even know all of the places. Um, but your information will also be linked. So people can find you and if you are listening, please remember to hit subscribe or hit likes, you can find out more about us. Um and Meghan, thank you so much for coming on my show. You’re sharing all of your wisdom.
MEGHAN (00:33:30): Yeah, thank you. Thank you. It was a pleasure.
VOICEOVER ( 00:38:52): You’ve been listening to Stress-Free IEPTM. With your host Frances Shefter. Remember you do not need to do it all alone. You can reach Frances through ShefterLaw.com where prior episodes are also posted. Thank you for your positive reviews, comments and sharing the show with others through YouTube, LinkedIn, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and more.
Stress-Free IEP™ with Frances Shefter and Meghan Lucas
In this episode of Stress-Free IEPTM, Frances Shefter speaks with Meghan Lucas. Meghan is the founder of Dear Strong Woman LLC and a Life & Leadership Coach at Meghan Lucas Coaching.
Stress-Free IEPTM:
Frances Shefter is an Education Attorney and Advocate who is committed to helping her clients have a Stress-Free IEP experience. In each podcast, Frances interviews inspiring people to share information, educate you, empower you and help you get the knowledge you need.
Watch more episodes of Stress-FreeTM on YouTube.
Connect and learn more from your host, Frances Shefter:
Read the full transcript of this episode:
VOICEOVER ( 00:00:00): Welcome to Stress-Free IEPTM. You do not need to do it all alone with your host Frances Shefter, Principal of Shefter Law, she streams a show live on Facebook on Tuesdays at noon Eastern, get more details and catch prior episodes at www.ShefterLaw.com. The Stress-Free IEPTM video podcast is also posted on YouTube and LinkedIn and you can listen to episodes through Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google podcasts, Stitcher and more. Now, here’s the host of Stress-Free IEPTM Frances Shefter.
FRANCES (00:00:46): Hello listeners and welcome to the show today. I’m going off a little bit from the usual IEP talks and special education services and talking about the you do not need to do it all alone as we know as parents. It is so difficult, especially as parents with Children with special needs and support is so important for us personally and for our Children. So today’s guest Meghan Lucas who is the creator of Dear Strong Women and is a life coach and an author and she’s gonna help talk to us about how it is so important to not do it all alone. Meghan Welcome to the show and please introduce yourself.
MEGHAN (00:01:33): Yes, thank you so much for having me. As Frances mentioned, my name is Meghan Lucas, I’m a life coach. I’m an author. I tend to do scary things, I know a thing or two about doing it alone and have learned and I’m still learning how to not do that and why that’s important and I’m sure we’ll dive into that today,
FRANCES (00:01:51): definitely. And I wanted to touch base a little bit on your history to go like kind of where you started and how you got to where you are today.
MEGHAN (00:01:59): Yeah. Okay. Um, so I got into coaching through being a teacher. My background is actually in education. I taught music, believe it or not. Um, I worked in an inner city charter school for eight years, five of those years, teaching music and then another three into, I went into administration, got super burned out from in hindsight doing it all alone and uh, ventured off into another career path of coaching. So, which is great because it, it reminds me of how I showed up with my kids as a teacher, you know, just holding the mirror reflecting choices what’s next. Um, but yeah, that’s, that’s my, my background, both in education and the burn outside of it,
FRANCES (00:02:44): which is so important because teachers and parents get burnt out. Teachers can change careers. Parents, we have a little bit harder time if we burn out and need to get that support. Um, so, and like I know what a lot of parents, a lot of times I get potential clients calling me or people that I talk with and they talk about how they just, they don’t have it anymore. They can’t fight anymore. They’re just, they’re just tired of going up against the system and they’re just like, you know what it is, what it is? It’s the best I can get and give up.
FRANCES (00:03:16): I know that’s a big phrase for you. It is what it is. How do you get out of being that?
MEGHAN (00:03:23): Yeah, I mean it is what it is. Like I have to really check my feet whenever. That’s something I want to throw around. I definitely like my radar goes off when I hear other people say it. But when I find myself saying I’m like, hold on, check yourself. Um, yeah, it is what it is for me is almost like a scapegoat of All right, well I guess I can’t do anything about it when if we really check in and, and and stay in the game. Like we probably could do something about it, but maybe not by ourselves. Maybe maybe this is where we need to bring somebody into just brainstorm or dump so we can clear out the all the junk we’re carrying in our heads and the exhaustion and the hurt and the, this is so hard. Um, Yeah, but really for me anytime for me, when I, when I feel tempted to say that and just throw my hands up, it is what it is. That’s, that’s an invitation for me to, to really check in and like, okay, I need support here
FRANCES (00:04:20): and so how can you help support parents that are having that issue and are just done and just saying it is what it is. I don’t have it in me anymore. How can you help them find that drive again?
MEGHAN (00:04:32): Yeah, what I find for parents is that and for a lot of us we are so used to dumping into our people, whether it’s work, whether it’s our kids, whether it’s our friends that just to have the space to spend to talk about ourselves and what’s going on is huge. I call it dumping our purse. So I invite my clients to come, you know, hop on the phone with me and dump their purse. Let’s see what’s in there. Because sometimes we get so caught up in just doing and the list of tasks and what everybody needs that we’re not really aware of what we’re carrying, what we need. So just having the space to dump and reflect is huge and a lot of times the thing that feels impossible or heavy or overwhelming, like I just can’t do it anymore. It’s because we’re carrying a whole purse full of rocks like, you know, things that we haven’t unloaded. So being able to do that often gets my clients back in action back in power. Suddenly they’ve said something that they’re like, well that sounds silly but in their heads it sounded really like heavy and significant and uh like a like a big block or a hurdle. So it’s just, it keeps the conversation going, it’s like staying in motion. Um like when you’re grieving, like sometimes you just gotta keep moving and yeah, and then what the next step to take kind of presents itself and you really just need the next step, you don’t need the whole plan laid out,
FRANCES (00:05:59): right? No, definitely, I also get that um you know, my background a little bit and it’s just kind of like, this isn’t working for me anymore, what’s the next step? And that’s, you know, for me from teaching and I went to law school and it kinda, I didn’t plan on going to law school when I started by taking the LSAT, but it just presented itself and now I’m here and I love what I do, helping and educating families. Um So I want to talk a little bit about like, the difference between coaching and therapy, because I know there’s so many people out there now coaching and it’s like, well I don’t want to go to a therapist, but that’s not what coaching is, is it
MEGHAN (00:06:38): correct, correct. Thank you for this question. Here’s, the great thing about the coaching industry is that anybody can be a coach. It’s also the not so great thing is that anybody can be a coach, it’s not a regulated profession yet. So something to be mindful of when you see someone say their coaches just attached their linkedin profile or the business card, however, that that being said, the coaching, like the profession of coaching could really work hand in hand with therapy and when I first hired a coach, I was working with the therapist at the same time. So just give you a little idea of how they um the lanes in which both operate. So therapy is much more of a past based conversation. We’re looking at things that have happened in service of perhaps or some healing to take place before we can move forward. Okay. So I listened with my clients, they keep coming up against something that they just can’t quite let go of or work through, there’s likely something more um needed there. Now with coaching, we’ll look at the past two but not from a sense of healing more. So just to identify some patterns were much more factual um you know, we’re just gathering the data and we do that in service of breaking up those patterns so that we can start where we’re at and move forward. So it’s a much more forward facing conversation. We don’t dwell a lot in the past. Um because it’s, you know, that’s part of like the baggage that we’re carrying and not putting down to really propel us forward. So really works in great parallel with the therapist. Like you can do some healing work while you’re planning your future, right? So um yeah, there’s some nuances around the language that are a little different, like therapists will probably be more okay, so how does that make you feel? And I’m more like, okay, now, what, what’s next, what’s the choice here despite the feelings, we can all do things despite how we’re feeling? I think that’s how laundry gets done.
FRANCES (00:08:46): Exactly. Or like what I like to say is you can be afraid but do it anyway.
MEGHAN (00:08:51): Yes. Yes. It’s so important. I think so many people think if they’re afraid that they’re not ready, you know, or they have to be fearless before, like it’s the confidence, they want to feel confident before they take action, but a lot of times that confidence comes from taking action. So
FRANCES (00:9:9): I’ve heard somebody said that um if you’re not afraid, then you’re probably not trying hard enough. You know, you’re not pushing yourself hard enough.
MEGHAN (00:9:18): Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I call it there’s like this fine line where it’s the terrible excitement. I’m like anxious and excited. Like I wanna like, yes, let’s do this and hide in the corner at the same time. It’s both
FRANCES (00:9:31): right. You know, I heard that once before about anxiety and like, you know, you get the sweaty and the sweaty palms and the heart palpitation and to start thinking of it not as anxiety but as excitement because your body has the same reaction, but your brain reacts so differently.
MEGHAN (00:9:51): Yes. Yes.
FRANCES (00:9:53): So um So like, how do you handle stress? Like, I know you’re a new mom, you know, you have your book out, you’re promoting your business coaching. What do you do? How do you handle stress?
MEGHAN (00:10:05): I’ll share a little bit how I used to handle it and how I handle it now in case that speaks to people. I mean I used to just put my nose down and get to work, like in my mind, getting emotional or mad or whatever about what was going on was just gonna waste time and who had time to waste, like there’s stuff to do. So um and that worked for me until it didn’t until part of like what I was carrying with me was a lot of unprocessed emotion. Um and not even that sometimes when you put your, put your head down and just work, you’re not aware that you’re tired, even if you’re doing something you love, you get tired. So you know, important, important to check in now what I do is um I mean talk about coming back to the conversation around support when I’m about to do something or I can tell I’m about to do something that’s just gonna require a lot of whether it’s courage, energy, um creativity. I intentionally tap into my community. I’ve got a few friends I call and just say, hey, I just need you to be a mirror for me and reflect me why I’m awesome, why I’ve got this. You know, sometimes I’ll just dump all the fears in my head, which sound really, really dramatic and then I hear them, but also, you know, it’s just, it’s just a space to get it out because carrying that stuff around is tiring. So I equate it to um riding a roller coaster. I don’t know if anybody’s listening or watching as a fan of roller coasters, but when I feel, I guess we’ll say my fear is kind of trying to talk me out of something, don’t do this. This is gonna be hard. Like why are you wasting your time? Like all that voice. It feels like I’m being dragged to a roller coaster to ride it. You know, like I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to do this. So you can imagine that experience and you know, kind of being forced in the car and strapped in and just holding on waiting until it’s over. When I feel that coming up, I have to flip it in my head to imagine All right, we’re riding this rollercoaster and I’m in the front seat and that’s when I call a friend and I just imagine I’m on this roller coaster with him and our hands in there and I’m screaming, which is just me dumping like freedom and what’s great is that five minutes? I’m I’m done and I’m I’m grounded and reset as opposed to just trying to avoid getting on that roller coaster. Like it’s such, it takes up so much energy and mental space that if I just allow myself to be a brat for five minutes. I’m actually pretty good.
FRANCES (00:12:43): It’s funny that you said, you know, you say that because I remember before marriage and Children and all that and I would like just get in one of those moods of just not wanting to do anything or being sad or depressed and I would be like okay, you know what you got today, You got saturday, stay in bed, eat the ice cream, be depressed, do whatever you need to do, but tomorrow morning sunday you’re getting up and doing it. Yeah. And it’s just so important because sometimes you just need that day.
MEGHAN (00:13:10): Yeah. And when you allow yourself to do it, you’re actually like, it’s still from a position of power and personal leadership because you’re choosing it on purpose rather than you avoid it, you avoid it, you avoid it and then suddenly like it’s you know, take it, it’s more powerful than you, you’re having a meltdown while you’re picking out mustard in the grocery store. Like it’s like, you know, if you choose it on purpose then you’re still the one in charge, right?
FRANCES (00:13:34): Yeah. And some people are like, oh I had a lazy day today, you didn’t, you have a relaxing day today, that’s okay. And especially as you know, as parents, we so need that even if it’s a couple of hours just the mean time to touch these.
MEGHAN (00:13:50): Yeah, sure.
FRANCES (00:13:53): And you said, so you said that you have a coach and so how did that come about that you wound up hiring a coach before or after you became a coach?
MEGHAN (00:14:02): before, totally before I had, and this might be true for a number of people. Like I definitely had a preconceived notion about life coaching and um, what is this and how I ended up working with a coach as a friend of mine was training to become a coach and a life coach and she reached out to me to see if I wanted to do a sample session with her. And my understanding of coaching at the time was that they were going to tell me how to live my life and she was the kind of friend that I didn’t want her telling me live my life and my skills with boundaries and saying no at the time were not great. So of course I said, well, I think we’re too close of friends. That might be weird. Do you have someone else in your cohort whose training? Let me hop on the phone with a stranger and tell them about why my life sucks, you know, give my mom a break. And so this was in my, what ended up being my final year of teaching. It was actually close to this time probably december of that year and um, I hopped on the phone with this unsuspecting stranger and dumped my resentment filled purse. Um, complaints like all the reasons why I was burned out and why I had to be because nobody knew how to do their job. Like just really great conversation and she was so validating and heard me and then she asked me, she goes, okay, I hear you. So what do you want? Like this? She didn’t hear me, I can’t want anything. Didn’t you just hear everything I just said and she wouldn’t let me off the phone without answering that question and it was the first time in years of me inventing like to my teacher friends where I actually felt better afterwards cause I had a plan, I had something I had an action to take and I got connected to something outside of what I was currently experiencing. So I ended up working with her for a year and the things that we accomplished in that year alone, including getting out of teaching, I paid off debt, which I didn’t know how I did when I was paying her money. Um just lots of little wins in a short amount of time. I came to her a year later and said how do I do what you do? So that’s when I started training to become a coach
FRANCES (00:16:19): awesome because it’s empowering and I love that it’s like you say we did it all, but in reality you did it all and she just helped guide you.
MEGHAN (00:16:29): She was just a mirror. Yeah, she just reflected what I said a lot of times helped, you know, held the mirror, asked me some questions to really get me clear on where I was choosing from? Like if I was choosing from a place of fear and just wanting to stay safe or I was actually allowing myself to dream a big dream and do it the way I wanted to, you know, there’s there’s achieving the goal and then the experience of going for it that are both important, the journey and the destination. Thanks Pinterest. Um you know, it all matters. So she really helped me find my own answers for those questions.
FRANCES (00:17:05): It’s interesting you say that because I have a business coach that just does law firms and you know, she says all the time, it’s that fear that’s trying to keep you from doing something that keeps you small, you know, and doesn’t get you what you truly want because it’s just your inner child is going to protect yourself and it’s like you can do this, you can do this, you’re okay.
MEGHAN (00:17:28): Yeah,
FRANCES (00:17:29): and then you said about about going back and um I just lost my train of thought thinking about just when you’re scared and you’re afraid and dumping everything and just complaining and kind of like, okay, so you’re complaining about it and I know for me like when my friends, husband or Children complain about something, well what are you gonna do about it? You know, it’s like, what do you mean? Don’t complain to me,
MEGHAN (00:18:01): Well the great thing about complaints if if you can hear it while you’re on the receiving end of it or if you can hear it while you’re dumping them, is that inside complaints? There’s actually a request in there. There’s something that’s needed and usually it comes out as a complaint with a little edge on it because we’ve gone too long without asking for what we need. So, you know, talk about not doing it alone if if you’ve not if you’ve not gotten support, if you’ve done it alone for a while, likely, you know, there’s some complaints that have built up, there’s some resentment that’s built up. There’s I shouldn’t have to ask for help, They should know what to do. You know, all the should beware when that starts coming out. It’s you’ve already waited too long to ask for what you need.
FRANCES (00:18:45): My grandma used to say she, you know that, you know, it’s just it’s people aren’t mind readers, but I know like I know for me growing up it was you know, kind of were expected to do it, you know what I mean? Like asking for help was a sign of weakness.
MEGHAN (00:19:05): Yeah, I think thank goodness. I think that’s a narrative that’s starting to change. I think we’re right in like the gooey middle transition of it. I don’t know how long it’s gonna take, but yeah, if asking for how I had I had to really unpack that um yeah, where I thought asking for help meant that I was weak because I couldn’t do it alone and what I found when I opened up and said, I’m not okay, I don’t have it all together. If you think about it doing that, it’s actually a really brave thing that requires strength. Like it’s actually the opposite of weakness to admit, hey, I don’t have all the answers to admit I need more time. Like you’re admitting that you’re a human being and not a machine. And I think as a society and you know, just over the years we’ve, we’ve trained ourselves that are, we’re only as good as our output and what we do. So, you know, I love that this narrative is starting to change. It’s like the mental health space is growing. Like there’s so many, there’s such an impact from operating that way. It’s possible. You can have a successful life, you can, you can reach the goals, but what’s your experience in doing so and once you get there, are you excited? Are you celebrating? Are you tired? Are you not even present to what you’ve accomplished? Cause you’re already looking at the next thing on the list because that’s the, that’s what you’re used to? So yeah.
FRANCES (00:20:28): And it’s um, you know, remembering a lot of clients I’ve had or people that I’ve talked to and moms with kids with disabilities talk so often about how um they’re just afraid and there’s just too much and they can’t do it all and they’re so stressed walking into an IEP Meeting and they get emotional and so I always tell them like, hey look, I do this for a living and I help all of you do this. But when it comes to my own child and walking into her IEP Meeting, I get emotional, I get stressed because it’s normal for a parent, it’s okay. You know, this is we’re talking about your child here and and it’s a lot of emotions going through with my child’s not perfect, the child, my child is not going to have that future that I envisioned. And it’s kind of I’m assuming you can help people find like, okay, but let’s look at it this way of what your child can accomplish,
MEGHAN (00:21:26): right? Right. And a lot of times when when those fears are running amok, you know, we’re just making stuff up that’s gonna support that fear. So not that we shouldn’t be afraid and not that we’re not gonna worry right? Like that’s just a normal part of being a human, being a parent, caring for for someone. Um but yeah, if we can recognize that those aren’t facts, then it can get us back into power.
FRANCES (00:21:58): Yeah. So important. And then I want to talk about because I know a lot of people like, oh coaching and you said yourself, it’s not a regulated business. So can you go into your training a little bit because I want to show like why you are, what somebody’s looking for. You know, a coach that has this training.
MEGHAN (00:22:14): Yeah, for sure. I’m sorry, I’ve got a little bit of a cough, try not to cough, not a machine, not perfect. Um Yes, in my training I was trained by an organization called accomplishment coaching. Um They are a accredited coaching coach training program, meaning there’s an overarching um an overarching regulating body called the International Coaching Federation, So if you’re going to hire a coach check in, see if your coach was trained one and two kind of where that train falls on the spectrum. Um So yeah, so when, when the business does become regulated, I’m good. Um Yeah, it was an extensive training. It was um it was a year of um of training. There were um we had full weekends of just different modules that we dove into. I was with a cohort, talked about not doing it alone, don’t train to become a coach alone. Um And so and through that I had a coach, so me supporting clients, I can only support them as far as me doing the work myself. So I had a coach throughout all of that. Yes, they were training weekends, but we were also training throughout the entire month learning different tools to support clients with distinctions, like ways to help them see different things, doing our own work, reading list, tons of things and then um after a year of doing so performance evaluation, we had people come in who were um, you know, we got to coach them in the moment and we were evaluated and you know, we’ve got professional coaches listening in to make sure there’s certain things that are happening to make sure that we’re letting the client drive the conversation and we’re just reflecting questions to kind of, you know, keep them on on a path, not force them, you know, not not guide it, but just okay, what about here? Okay, now we’re going this way asking questions, you know, but it’s all of their creation. Um, yeah, and then for about a year and a half after that, I actually stayed on with the organization and helped to train more coaches coming in. So tons of learning tons of learning. It kept my skills sharp. It made, it’s always made me a better coach for my clients. Um yeah, so it’s uh, and I’m still learning, I still say surrounded by that same cohort. Um, one in particular member that cohort, I talked with her once a week, you know, we graduated over two years ago. So yeah, it’s important to keep again, back to the support uh topic, just keeping people around you and not doing it alone. It’s huge.
FRANCES (00:25:03): Right? I love that you say that you went back in teaching because that was like something we used to say all the time if you understand something great, but to truly understand something is to be able to teach it to somebody else.
MEGHAN (00:25:14): For sure. Such a different level, I can’t tell you how often, you know, from that lens to when I’m on the phone with my clients and there there’s something they’re going through, they’ll say something or even like even my question to them, suddenly it’ll hit me like that’s the thing I’m working on for myself. So it’s, it’s such a like a cyclical, you know, it’s, it’s, it’s almost like a reverse accountability because them working on the thing that I have to work on it too. I can’t hide under the covers, which I want to sometimes. So,
FRANCES (00:25:46): and then I want to talk about your book because I know I heard once that everybody has a book in them. Um and I’m like, yeah, I don’t know about that, but we’ll see. So tell me about your book.
MEGHAN (00:26:00): Sure. So my book came from, you know, I guess we’ll tie this back into the asking for help as a sign of weakness. So years ago, my um while I was in the middle of doing everything myself and I’m just building a giant chip on my shoulder. Um my grandmother ended up passing away from breast cancer and I wasn’t prepared for how that was going to blow me apart. Um, but when it happened, I realized I couldn’t just keep operating the same way I was operating. I actually, I mean, I think it was my, my humanity, like my broken heart was reminding me that I’m not a machine. And so as a way to process both my grief and then what I was learning because I’m starting to question what I was doing in my life and how I was doing it. Um I went to writing, I was always like, I loved writing when I was a kid. It was something I threw off the list when I started working because who has time to do things for themselves? You know, like the whole, you see where the resentment came from, right? So yeah, I started writing as a way to process and um, in honor of her, I started a blog called Dear Strong Woman, which is where the whole, you know, idea comes from. So I was sometimes writing to her sometimes writing to myself in third person, sometimes writing to a friend who maybe has gone through something and it was a way for me to share out loud what I was going through. And often like, that was where I dumped my purse in a way. And um with that, um, that’s where I started to really build a community of people saying, hey, me too, thank you for saying that. Like, huge, huge uh like support that just came from me showing up messy. Um, so the book is an extension of that. It’s like years of me of all of my writing. I mean, I just took it all like from the blog and some other things I hadn’t published and just dumped it. All right, what’s the, what’s the common thread here? What can I, what can I pull out of here? And it was great that in that doing so what I thought the book was gonna be and what it ended up being ended up totally different just because of the process. Um, but what the book supports people with is, I mean I share my personal story and really it is transforming my life through the lens of, hey, this isn’t working. This isn’t working. I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to go into. I just knew it wasn’t what I was doing. And so I walk people through steps to get into action including one checking in on what are the defaults you believe about the world and about yourself. I call them default rules. Like whether it’s like, you know, personal things around, um, you know, um, you’re, as we mentioned, your value is only as good as your output. Um, there’s things around body image that we might believe, like the skinny you are the pretty you are the more idealized you are or um, you know, don’t bring up politics. Like, like so many different different rules that we operate under. And so I help people, I ask them the questions to check in and look at, you know, what, what are your beliefs and where are they stopping you And then from there I give them the choice. Like, hey, if what you currently believe is working for you, I’m not telling you that it’s wrong. Okay. There’s a lot of that going out in the world, beliefs are wrong. You choose it, you choose it. But I want you to recognize your choosing it. It’s not maybe the way it is. Um, and if you want to choose something different and explore writing your own rules, putting down what society has told you, what your parents have told you, what your teachers have told you actually creating this on your own terms. Here’s some steps to do. So here’s where to tap in like building the muscles, listening to your intuition. Maybe we haven’t done that in a very long time. Here’s what you do whenever there’s all these voices coming up in your head telling you, you’re greedy for wanting something more out of life. Here’s how you find support. Here’s how you, you know, embrace the mess that’s about to come your way. So I share a lot of personal experience with how I’ve done that in hopes that it, it uh, supports people and yeah, it’s a great, it’s a great resource for people I think at any stage of their life where they’re feeling like a transition is coming, whether it’s happening to them or they need to create it. Um, yeah. And I hope it’s, it’s beneficial for people and get them into action, It’s actually living the life they want to, because life is short and that’s something my grandmother’s passing really. Um, opened my eyes to like, I can’t keep doing this. I don’t have a lot of time here,
FRANCES (00:30:55): Right? And it’s what first came up with me, um, for me is when parents are first told that their child might have a disability and that your child is not perfect. And I remember it’s changed a little bit, but way back. It’s like, oh, your child has down syndrome or autism. They’re never going to go to college. They’re never gonna do this. They’re never gonna do that. And so parents got that defeated feeling from the doctors. But that’s not true. You know, like if you as a parent, you want your child to do something, you know, find a way out there. There are so many people that can help you get your child to be the best your child can be and happy.
MEGHAN (00:31:41): Yeah. Even if you have all the evidence that no child has done that before, right? Even if that’s what you’re, you’re pairing like, well, like how could it be possible? I don’t know, Let’s find out versus like going with what’s predictable based on what’s gone on for other people or history or you know, what have you, if you believe, there’s a chance, go for it. What’s the worst that could happen?
FRANCES (00:32:08): Right? I love that. What’s the worst that can happen. Like if you sit there and do nothing, then nothing’s going to happen. If you try, you at least have a 50/50 chance of changing.
MEGHAN (00:32:16): Yeah.
FRANCES (00:32:17): So important. So your book, the name of your book is You Make the Rules.
MEGHAN (00:32:22): Yeah. You Make the Rules: how to rewrite the rules you live by. So you can live life on your terms.
FRANCES (00:32:28): Awesome. And where can people get your book?
MEGHAN (00:32:30): People can get it on amazon. Just type in you make the rules, Megan Lucas, it’ll pop up. You can also get it off my website. Um, Dear Strong woman dot com slash you make the rules and it takes you to amazon. So one way, one way or the other
FRANCES (00:32:44): and your website, if people want to get get in touch with you.
MEGHAN (00:32:47): Sure. Yeah. DearStrongwoman.com is the website you can go, there’s a coaching page. There’s a speaking page. I mean, yeah, all everything you need. Is there
FRANCES (00:32:57): awesome. And then also we’re gonna have your information in the show notes. If you’re watching this, if people are watching on facebook or linkedin or Youtube or listening on Spotify or apple podcasts, I don’t even know all of the places. Um, but your information will also be linked. So people can find you and if you are listening, please remember to hit subscribe or hit likes, you can find out more about us. Um and Meghan, thank you so much for coming on my show. You’re sharing all of your wisdom.
MEGHAN (00:33:30): Yeah, thank you. Thank you. It was a pleasure.
VOICEOVER ( 00:38:52): You’ve been listening to Stress-Free IEPTM. With your host Frances Shefter. Remember you do not need to do it all alone. You can reach Frances through ShefterLaw.com where prior episodes are also posted. Thank you for your positive reviews, comments and sharing the show with others through YouTube, LinkedIn, Apple Podcast, Spotify, Google Podcasts, Stitcher and more.
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